I really want to be out to my friends, but I'm not sure how to approach the subject with them.  Popping "Oh by the way, I'm a guy" into a conversation just seems so awkward.  I'd like to do this with as little fuss as possible.  How did you guys go about it?

Imagine, for a moment, after someone told them.

How do you think each would react to the news? Would any be offended? Wpuld any be ambivalent? Would any be positive?

If they found out in this way, how would each for your friends fel about not being told directly by you?

I started out with a friend who I knew for a shorter amount of time than any other (slightly less than a year).  Since she got married and moved to CA in October, half the time I've known her has been spent talking on the phone or on Skype.  I felt like I had the least to lose if she thought it was too strange and abandoned me.  So when she came back for a visit in February, we went for a walk around a park in Denver that was across the street from a school I went to in 4th/5th grades.  We were talking about the past and the future, and I came out during that discussion.  She was so loving and supportive that we've become best of friends.

An ex-girlfriend came next quite by accident.  She supported me too, and with the strength of two supporters, I came out to one of my oldest friends (someone I'd known since our sophomore year of high school, 18 years ago).  He (and his girlfriend) were also so supportive that I moved on to a friend I'd known for 17 years.  She told me that she could have given me the news before I gave it to her and offered to take me out shopping too.  Finally, I had what I needed to tell a friend I've known for 21 years.  He too was fully supportive.

Now bear in mind that I'm quite openly liberal and all of my close friends are of the same bent.  So depending on where your friends lie on that spectrum, your mileage may vary!

Quote from: Lee on April 30, 2011, 03:57:15 PM
I really want to be out to my friends, but I'm not sure how to approach the subject with them.  Popping "Oh by the way, I'm a guy" into a conversation just seems so awkward.  I'd like to do this with as little fuss as possible.  How did you guys go about it?

that's what i'm wondering too. I want to tell my friends too, but we're always together in relatively big groups and having fun, it just seems so awkward to inbetween jokes and such say "hey everyone, uh, i'm a girl". Of course a few good moments to come out did come, but i've only noticed them in retrospect

I literally just 'got a moment alone' with one of my closest friends and just told them. I suppose it was the building of pressure that made me say it so straight out, but afterwards just this huge weight lifted off my shoulders. She's extremely supportive of it and even became my 'personal body guard' if anyone tried to assault me for some reason.

I came out to one of my friends whom I had thought was very open-minded, at the time I was actually questioning whether I was trans or whether I was just crazy and/or going through a "phase" of wanting to be more masculine. So it was more of, telling her that I was confused about my gender, than actually saying "yeah I'm a transman" flat-out. She didn't react well, and we haven't spoken since.

The next friend I came out to, about a year afterwards when I'd figured out it was definitely not a phase nor insanity I kinda hinted at it over a few days of texting her, I hadn't made up my mind whether to tell her or not. We were talking about dating (not each other) and I was like "Yeah, I don't really want to date anyone for a while, I'm not really comfortable with the way my body is." She probably assumed I meant I wanted to lose some weight before dating (I had about 20-25 lbs to lose at the time), and I did but that wasn't what I was referring to. Then later on we were hanging out, and the dating subject came up again and she asked me what I meant (I think she was about to say "Well you're not that fat" or some such thing) and I said something like, "Well... I don't know how to say this, so I'll just say it.... I'm a female-to-male transman." I expected her to be at least somewhat shocked, but she didn't seem surprised at all. So far she's been the most supportive of all my friends.

Everyone else, I just randomly told them. It was all along the lines of, "You know, there's something about me I think you should know.." then I just said, "I'm trans. Don't hate me!" It was basically a 50% success rate, so it sort of worked... 

Overall, my guy friends have been much more accepting than my female friends.