I just suggested that everyone I know begin calling me Em (in real life, this already happens online), I thought that this would be a positive thing, since I'm having presentation issues, and I already have two close friends that do so. But I'm getting feedback along the lines of: "people will think I'm crazy if you look like a guy." Things are a little difficult, and I only have money for the therapist, doc, and pills (kid's gotta eat).

What I'm comfortable with for everyday right now is what lots of the current young rockers wear (androgynous type clothing), just brighter. It doesn't help that HRT has barely had a chance to do anything and my wiry athletic build is still very apparent. Any clothing mods that anyone can suggest to push it into the femme range? I'm not in the market to buy, but I can almost sew, and I can sure cut clothes!

I just was wondering if any other's have tried the name and pronoun switch while being clearly the other gender.

* clearly, physically your opposite gender..

Hi Em

Yes, I'm not FT but my sister in law, who I go out with often, refer to me a Cindy and her etc. It makes for great fun because they sometimes forget when I'm in 'male' dress, and refer to me as Cindy, Honey or Sweetie. None of which are disparaging, but the look on shop keepers can be priceless.
I have to also admit that maybe at my age I really don't care if people make pronoun mistakes. I'm not going to crucify a friend for making a mistake that really doesn't matter. Obviously it is a concern for some.

Cindy

Haha!

I just told everyone I knew on FB (my entire circle), because, honestly, I hear, see, and use Em far more often than my birth name. I thought it would help people take me more seriously as well.

The misgendering will be an   issue for a while, I suppose.

Quote from: Caleb_ on May 01, 2011, 03:47:28 AM
Yep. Here's the worst thing that ever happened:

My brother (to coworker): This is my brother.
Coworker: ...Er, I thought you had a sister?
Brother: Well he's not her!
*they look confused and then go about their business*

I think I love that

Nice brother too

Cindy

Em

I know this might sound silly, but it's only a problem if YOU let it be a problem. Roll with the punches, I've found I get accepted by letting people accept me, rather than insisting that they accept me. Your friends will catch on pretty quickly, friends tend to want to do that, if they don't they are not friends.

Hugs

Cindy

Hey Em.

Looking at your pictures you clearly look like a woman, so I'm not sure what you're worried about!

That avatar was me all made up. Here I am in every day mode (right now)

I asked my bestie to call my Britney since the beginning...

Hi Em,
I wasn't comfortable with male pronouns until I was more male looking. It was a dysphoria issue for me. If you're comfortable with it though, might as well start now. 
And actually, you still look female in your 'everyday' mode. You just look like a woman with a more masculine bone structure and there are plenty of those. You have a really beautiful face.

I didn't even come out until HRT started giving me changes that were noticeable to others.  Then, when I came out, everyone (except my parents) asked what they should call me.  I told them, they did.  The parents... well... going to have to have a talk with them.

So I never tried the name/pronoun switch while in boy mode, because I went full time within a week of coming out to the first person.  It was kind of whirlwind. 

Here's what I did last night:

I went out essentially as you see in my avatar, only with black sparkly nail polish on my hands and toes, and a white v-neck that was tastefully fitted, I was wearing women's jeans (not skinny jeans, fitted women's jeans), and was addressed as Emma all night by my two oldest friends. Only two slips with "His" and "old name."

For some reason they had to announce loudly that I was a girl now in the middle of a crowded theatre (which I shriveled away at), and no one batted an eye. The line between part time and full time is drawn only by my beard shadow now.

My friends were uncomfortable with it, but I made no fuss either way. They played along, and I suspect that things will get more interesting as time goes by.

A few of my friends call me Jenny or Jen even though I currently only dress androgynously and use my natural, deep, obviously male voice. I'm not asking people to call me Jenny until I'm ready to present as female, but I tell people that they're more than welcome to do it anyway. I'm sure most of them won't until I look and sound female. I believe it's that most people are uncomfortable with someone who has obviously mixed gender characteristics. E.g. one of my close friends brought it up and said it's difficult to call me Jenny because I don't dress or talk female. Though I can do a voice with which I'm quite happy, it currently takes too much concentration to be able to carry on a conversation, so I need to keep practicing before I'll be ready to use it.

I don't think one can realistically expect to emerge fully female a la venus from an oyster shell. Unfortunatelly there's quite a bit of trial and error involved in getting there. Yes there will be faux pas even a few embarrassments and tears to go with them. The good news is you can do it! You're brave! You've already started coming out and nothing is scarier tha. Coming out to the parents.

My best advice is to hang with cis gen supporters. They can show you how to do it. One xay 33,you'll be a happy succesful woman!

Thanks for the advice!

this is a long process when you are stuck in a place like I am... Growing out of a shell is hard to do.