So last night I decided I would tell my little sister I was trans since she's coming out to visit me in a few weeks and I didn't want her freaking out about the men's clothes, shaving my face, etc.  I didn't think it would be that big a shock to her because I had told her the first time I felt this way back in 2006.  Last time she was good about keeping it to herself and so I didn't think I needed to worry.  Turns out the second I told her, she called my mother at 11 o'clock at night to tell her...  So now I guess I have some damage control to do.  This was NOT the way I wanted my mother to find out...

Ouch, I'd say so!  I mean, a lot of people have to expect their parents won't take it well, what with the generational divide and all, but you always hope your siblings will be a bit more understanding, or at least can keep things in confidence despite disapproving.  So when you told your sister in 2006, were you presenting more feminine?  Do you think perhaps your haircut and attire made her think you were serious, as opposed to a phase?  How's your mother taking it?

I'm not sure my sister disapproves.  She's got tons of gay friends who she seems to fully support.  I just think she had to be the one to tell everyone.  We're pretty big on gossip in my family (myself included, unfortunately.  It's addicting).  She seemed very supportive in 2006, but then again she was only like 15 then and in high school and now she's 22 and getting ready to graduate college, so I think she understands the gravity of it a little more now than when it was just something fun to do to go shopping for guys clothes with me and some of our gay friends to try to get me to pass and all that.  And then I got scared and got very religious for a few years and so I think I just confused her.

I'm not sure how my mother took it as I haven't heard from her yet.  I just found out from my aunt that my sister told my mother (my aunt's a lesbian, so she was one of the first people I came out to because I knew she would somewhat understand at least the anxiety about coming out part of it).  I just wrote my mother a facebook message about it saying I didn't want her to find out this way and trying to do a quick explaination.  I was planning on taking my time and writing a well thought out letter, but I guess that didn't work out.  Hopefully I'll hear back from her soon and we can start up a dialogue.  As impersonal as the internet is to talk about something like this, I think it's good in that you have more time to think about and word your answers and let strong emotion cool down before you speak, so I'm hoping to talk to her a lot more on the internet about it before we talk on the phone or anything.  And I'll see her in person in a little over four weeks when I go home for the summer, so we'll have plenty of time to talk about it then.

Quote from: Devin87 on May 01, 2011, 05:22:47 PM
I'm not sure my sister disapproves.  She's got tons of gay friends who she seems to fully support.

to sorta play devil's advocate:  there is a big different between having a gay friend and having a transgender family member.  It's going to affect you in significantly different ways. 

Quote from: Andy8715 on May 03, 2011, 01:28:24 AM
to sorta play devil's advocate:  there is a big different between having a gay friend and having a transgender family member.  It's going to affect you in significantly different ways.

This. Gay and trans are completely different things. My family supports gay people 100%, but thinks trans is "weird".

^ Unfortunately, I know people like that too.

Devin, that's awful though, does your sister realize that she's kind of...breached your trust on this?