Quote from: matt on April 30, 2011, 03:46:06 PM
When I was pre-T, I went to a funeral of a relative. I wore pretty gender neutral clothing, blank trousers, white shirt and a black jacket.
Some relatives thought I was a younger boy relative, but everyone was so immersed in the atmosphere of mourning, I doubt anyone had time to really think about an insignificant kid.

Yinyanga- Yeah, I'd agree with him on this. I went to my uncles boyfriend's funeral (who I considered an uncle since they were together 10 years) and wore black pants and a black button down. I did not know his family at all though and his mother kept telling my mother what a polite young man I was (before I came out to my mom). It was easily laughed off since I know my uncle Kevin would've gotten a kick out of it because the last time I saw him before I died, I hadn't come out to him yet but he pulled me off to the side and said "Don't tell your mother I said this but your name is perfect 'A-man-duh' haha".

I'd say wear what you're comfortable with and what you think she would have wanted if they are one in the same, if not just choose what you are comfortable with.

If you shave and go in a suit and act normal no one is going to say anything. I think you bring it up with your cousin or anyone else it might have her wondering/worrying about it when she has other thing to do. Even though you notice your voice drop and body shape changed your family probably won't because they've known you for so long and if they do notice something different they won't know what. But say they do notice I don't think that will have people talking but facial hair definitely will.

You know your cousin better than anyone else, so you will know what is best.

But my 2 cents, is if you decide to talk with her don't make up some lame excuse or anything. Give her the facts in a fairly calm manner, you don't have to explain everything. Possibly just asking if it is fine for you to go in a tux would be enough.

Don't lie about it though, because it could bite you on the ass later.

JUnit: Thanks dude. Somehow your suggestions really made me feel better.

Maiara: Thanks, I'll make sure I take in what u said about not making up a lame excuse. Actually I really don't want to lie about it either. I hate lying and I absolutely agree with you about it coming back to haunt me later...

honestly I doubt anyone will notice your voice is different, your facial hair (unless it's dark and obvious) I go to family things.  They call me my birth name.  I have some sparse facial hair, a deep voice, short hair, and I bind and wear very obviously men's clothing.  They call me female pronouns.  They see what they want to it seems.