Why? Because I said that I suck at cooking and sewing (we were talking about the fashion class that he was trying to sign up for and we ended up talking about sewing skills and then about middle school when we had to sew and cook.)

The only thing I could think was this: since when is it BAD to fit a stereotype?

If a woman likes to cook, clean, or sew and enjoys dressing feminine, is she "reinforcing" a stereotype?

If a man likes to body build and watch sports and he isn't good at cooking, is he "reinforcing" a stereotype?

Then again, this transman specifically doesn't really fit the stereotype of anything. He is a feminine transman who doesn't have any gender dysphoria. Just because he is a man who isn't masculine and he isn't a "stereotypical" transman either; I feel like he was talking as if he was superior to me because I act a lot more "sterotypically male" than he does or something.

I feel like he was reinforcing stereotypes rather than me reinforcing them.

I have nothing wrong with people who fit into stereotypes, but it seems like stereotypes are bad now.

If I like some things considered "manly" or "masculine", does that mean I'm reinforcing stereotypes because I'm male and I happen to enjoy these things?

What happened to being yourself?

This isn't completely trans related, but I just felt the need to ask other peoples opinions (this isn't a rant about the guy who said this to me. It's just a debate about the whole stereotype thing and trans people and stereotypes.)

Some people just try to make themselves feel better by putting down others.  He has his idea what what being a good transguy is and he attempts to validate his ideas to himself by attacking anyone who doesn't fit them.  I've met people like that before.  I went to an all woman's college which, true to stereotype, was full of feminists.   I remember once in class having a conversation about stay at home moms and several people saying they wanted to be stay at home moms and being completely attacked for not being "strong, independent women".

This puts a sentence into my mind:

"It is bad to like something because everyone likes it, but there is nothing wrong with liking something WHILE everyone likes it."

It reminds me of some metal, punk, rap and other "non-conventional" music lovers who regard pop and rock almost as evil.

That doesn't even make sense to me. You can't help sucking at cooking. It's not like you're being stereotypical on purpose.

Just be you, whether it's stereotypical or not. That guy sounds like one of those people who try too hard to be a "uneek snoflake."

I can cook, am able to, but cooking is not fun, I'd rather find something quick and easy, throw it in the microwave, eat and enjoy without unnecessary hassle.

I can't sew, but can cross-stitch.

I can't do much at all with my hair, I got fumble fingers, can't style my hair anything other than a ponytail or such that is simple.

Not heavy into fashions, something catches my eye in the store, if its cheap enough, I may buy it. I hate shopping for shoes, and absolutely will not compromise comfort for style. Hangbag, simple basic jean style.

I don't wear perfume, can't, severe allergies, can't even be around the crap. Also don't wear make-up, other than lipstick or nail polish. The way I see it, make-up clogs the pores, therefore aging you quicker, much like too much sun. Natural is best for me.

I do not read womens' magazines (okay, if I happen to have a magazine around and am bored I may pick it up for a few minutes, glance through it, but overall, not into any of it, the fashions, celebrities, gossip, relationships, sex tips, or anything), nor romance novels.

I'm also not much on decorating, could care less, if it functions and looks decent enough, that's all I care about, and I pretty much hate nick-nacks.

I do not like cleaning, my idea of dusting for example: take the sock off my foot, wipe bookcase shelf, shake dust off sock, put back on foot, but also rarely have to since I generally keep my stuff orderly every moment anyway.

I do enjoy pretty things though, just not excessively, so I might were some nice earrings, but not into the whole thing with necklaces, bracelets, rings and such.

I like wearing dresses, this is the girly in me, look damn good in them too, I await the day when I can look good in my choice of swimwear, then I'll have a reason to go in the water.

I am a flirt sometimes, nothing big, maybe a smile or a wink at a passing by, if I feel safe enough to do so, and relish the idea of knowing some guy walking by is going to turn around and look at my ass (actually this was me on the hormones, I haven't behaved mischievously like that in a while).

I'm not very talk heavy socially, I have no tongue for it, also can't stand telephones.

My mom writes poetry, I can write worth a crap, I don't have any interest.

I enjoy video games moreso than any entertainment, and I'm not talking about just Mario and Tetris style games either.

I've been into Masters of the Universe, G.I. Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, ect during my childhood, and still think they're cool.

I don't get into sports, at all.

I also hate excercising for the sake of it, excercise should be fun and come naturally, not something tedious and planned, besides, I got enough muscles, I don't need to work them out that much more.

I enjoy physical work more than mental, its easier plus invigorating, and healthy excercise.

I am not a wimp, nor a damsel in distress, certainly not going to stand there and let someone kick my ass, I will fight back, and will break my knuckles on their face if I have to.

I swear, a lot.

I've never been a party girl (or guy), but also not really a bookworm either

I've never smoked, drank, done recreational drugs, stolen something only once in my life (I came to my own decision that it was wrong, never did it again), nor vandalized anything

I rarely ever given in to peer pressure

I am me. I like what I like, I do as I want, always have always will.

Quote from: Laura91 on May 03, 2011, 11:33:53 PM
Screw that dude. He sounds like a wanker, anyway.

...this post was awesome!!!

Moving on, lol, sorry to hear about that guy Devyn. I agree with Devin though, in that I've met many people who are like this and use other people to make themselves better. Not much you can do about it, just keep being you and never be ashamed of who you are.

Sometimes, the things we do in life fit stereotypes.  We don't plan it, it just happens.  If they're a part of your idiosyncrasies by default and not effort, then anyone who has a problem with it can sod off.

You know the term "throw like a girl?"  It fit me when I was a boy, it fits me now.  It's just me.  Oh well.  As I said in another thread, I'm so inept (and uninterested) in sports that I could throw a basketball in an indoor gymnasium and still manage to break someone's car window.  Perpetuating a stereotype?  Nope!  It's the way I am, nothing more and nothing less.

Quote from: Laura91 on May 03, 2011, 11:33:53 PM
Screw that dude. He sounds like a wanker, anyway.

^^^^
Words of wisdom.  Let it be.

Quote"It is bad to like something because everyone likes it, but there is nothing wrong with liking something WHILE everyone likes it."

^Truthiness.

I've had days where I have to sit back and laugh because it's so stereotypical it's almost uncanny (When I smoke pot, I turn into that stupid, laughing, "dude, dude, hey wait whoa shiny" pothead, for instance). I'm sure EVERYONE has done SOMETHING atypical in their lives.

And yes, Dennis is right. Some people are just jackasses.

I love being stereotypically male.
Have sometimes given in to pressures to not be so boyish in the PAST. Won't happen again.
Anybody who doesn't like it does not deserve my company.

I also don't see anything wrong with deliberately doing stereotypical stuff, especially if it helps you settle into yourself. There are many things I thought I had no interest in that have turned out to be from low self esteem or wanting to be invisible. That is changing...finally.

Somehow this transguy you mentioned reminds me of this extremist lesbian group flaming the FTM community lately.

They believe that FTMs are reinforcing gender stereotypes by transitioning. Basically they believe that FTMs are just part of the wider spectrum of women and should learn to embrace their female identity.

But the way I see this - forcing other people to not conform to stereotypes is just as bad as forcing other people to conform to a stereotype.

Can't we just be more accepting? Especially when we ourselves are all part of the LGBT community? We have enough intolerance going around already.

everything is a stereotype. did he have short hair? wear pants? technically male stereotypes. he reinforces stereotypes by having short hair and wear pants, as those are typically male-associated things. of course it's ridiculous to assume that all men have short hair and wear pants and that women cannot have short hair or wear pants, but that's what stereotypes are, right? don't listen to him. do what you want. it's your life.

I'm with those who say screw him, life is waay too short to worry about whether you are reinforcing stereotypes or not.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to sew a new dress, paint my nails, gossip, cry at a wedding, drive my car really badly and have my non existent husbands dinner on the table for when he gets home from work!

MillieB, don't forget the cocktail or good strong drink and the slightly skimpy dress.

At the risk of sounding sexist...that sounds like a pretty awesome thing to come home to.

Moving on.

Quote from: Laura91 on May 03, 2011, 11:33:53 PM
Screw that dude. He sounds like a wanker, anyway.

Summed up so nicely.

I'll admit that I fit the male stereotype pretty majorly, though not completely. It's just who I am though. Am I reinforcing stereotypes? Maybe, for those who think about them (which obviously that guy does). Do I or most people care? No.

There's cis guys who fit the male stereotype, and there's cis guys who demonstrate why it's just that: a stereotype. Why should trans guys be any different? We're just regular guys, after all.

Same thing applies to the ladies. Why should trans women be any different from cis women when it comes to fitting or not fitting stereotypes?

If we in the trans community think that there should be a difference, then we seriously miss the point that we argue all the time. Even if open about one's trans status, one still sees themselves and wants others to see them as "just another (wo)man", but as soon as we apply double-standards to ourselves then that inherently cannot happen. Can't be equal but with different standards: it just doesn't work.

Two things:

Rejecting stereotypes has become its own stereotype now, it's such a cliché

When people talk about "reinforcing male/female stereotypes" let's face it, they're almost always talking just about heterosexual stereotypes anyway.

Oh, okay three things: if the stereotype you're "reinforcing" is the one that says "I get to be who/how I want to be, thanks very much" then go for it, reinforce at will!