So just a bit ago, I was talking with some people online, and this dude asks me if I was, and I quote, "Ghey." After trying to get him to clarify, I asked him if he meant "gay" and he did. I also told him I was a transgender. He started to tell me I was messed up and that its not right to feel the way I feel. He said some other few choice words, but to spare myself the pain, and to not break any rules, I won't repeat it. I learned he was gay, too. I tried to teach him about being a transgender, but he wouldn't have anything to do with that. The hate just kept coming. I don't see how, or what right he had in doing that. Seriously.

Just wanted to share this.

I don't mind if people know. Its not a big deal for me. Kinda gives me a sense of being when I tell others what I am, I don't know, hah.

Sometimes people can just be brutal online.  Gay or not.  I try not to let anything that happens online bother me.  but depending on how much of one's life is spent online, that can be hard. 

For me, it's always surprising (even though it shouldn't be) when a gay (or other sexual minority) is being... a dick.  I just feel like asking, "You're gay (or w.e).  Don't you know what it's like to be oppressed?  To be discriminated against?  To be insulted again and again?  Knowing what that feels like, why would you want to do that to me (or anyone)?"
But I don't ask that.  I know nothing would come of it if I did ask that.

I think that gays (or other sexual minorities) are just like normal people.  They have their own issues that don't necessarily have anything to do with their sexual issues.   You know, maybe he was in a real mad mood that day and didn't believe anything he was saying to you but just wanted to be a dick to make himself feel better.  I can understand how that must feel, how when you're pissed off you just want to hurt things or hurt people.  Like the saying goes, "Misery loves company."  You want to make other people feel miserable and bring them down to your level.
And even if he did (somehow) truly believe what he said, I just try to not to let anything anyone says hurt me, but particularly if it's a stranger.  I just try to put my hands up, walk away, and say (to myself) "He's got issues."


It's also possible for even a gay person to be just SO misinformed about trans issues that he honestly doesn't have a clue what it's like to feel like the opposite gender.  but it doesn't sound like this is the case with this guy, because of all the "choice" words you said he used.  That stems from "issues" as I like to put it.  Whereas pure naivety would just be confused and perplexed at the thought of wanting to be the opposite gender, but there is no need for insults when you're just perplexed.  So I think he had something else going on.

Quote from: Vince on May 10, 2011, 12:46:10 AM
I don't mind if people know. Its not a big deal for me. Kinda gives me a sense of being when I tell others what I am, I don't know, hah.

I can TOTALLY relate to this, man  

One of the more interesting theories I heard on this was that some gays don't want to be lumped together with a group who still has a disordered mental health designation (GID).  They were cleared by the APA in 1973 and so they want nothing to do with anyone still diagnosable under the DSM.  I suppose the best way of explaining these people's thoughts is to imagine how we'd feel if we were considered an offshoot of Multiple Personality Disorder (after all, we have that boy/girl thing going on in our heads, right?).

So there's essentially an attitude of "I'm normal, not a pill-popping/hormone-injecting mental case."  Little more than an example of people who believe that their own reality is the only reality.  Just because one experiences discrimination doesn't mean that one develops empathy.  These people exist in every population, including the LGB population and our own population.  Thankfully, good people also reside everywhere to balance this out.

Still, sorry to hear you ran into such a tool, Vince.

I'm not trying to give this guy more credit than he deserves but my (trans-friendly) gay friend explained a common lgb point of view to me. Some of them see transsexuality as an insult, for lack of a better word, to homosexuals. Because, as a cisgendered person, they will never truly understand what we feel, some of them think that we are simply gay people who are too afraid of living that way in the real world and thus transition to the opposite sex. Obviously, there are obvious flaws here (gay transmen, etc) but it would make sense to get an emotional reaction out of someone who feels that your way of life is an insult to theirs. Sorry you had to deal with that.