my partner is going to b starting t therapy soon and i am afraid she will be a sex crazed womanizer... to me she already has a male presence, agression, and state of mind. but i am afraid that the t will make her want to have sex all the time, and sex with me might not be good enough anymore. we have been together 8 years. can any of you help me understand what kind of libido changes i can expect or if your principles changed at all and made you want to be with several women and just be a player? thank you

So far, I have not seen to much of an increase but I am on a reduced amount since i just started last month.

On a semi separate note...I am confused about your partner since in the two post you have posted so far, you say your partner has had top surgery and you are in a straight relationship and now about to start T...yet you keep saying she.  Just an observation, but one that really can confuse. I know I had to read the post several times and make sure I was in the right forum.

When I came out, I became hornier. I'd had a low sex drive for years and didn't realize how much I'd been repressing. My ex loved it.

When I started T, I was even hornier, but I became orgasm-centered. My then-partner didn't like that; before T, he would get off all the time, but I would orgasm about fifty or sixty percent of the time. So he started having trouble with this change. He accused me of being selfish, of using him, because I started wanting orgasms as much as he did. I thought he was unfair and childish because with very few exceptions, he always had an orgasm when we had sex.

We had a monogamous relationship. I would not have jeopardized that by getting involved with someone else because the bottom line was that I loved him. So the sex was pretty important, but the love was more important. We did break up, though. Transition is hard on significant others.

People obviously vary, and transition tends to complicate relationships.

P.S. Ditto what Jigsaw said--pronouns can be confusing. If your partner prefers female pronouns, you might want to make that clear the first several times you post here, at least till people get to know you and your situation.

Like Jigsaw said, it is confusing that you refer to your partner as "she." But since you posted this in the FTM forum, I'm going to assume your partner is a "he."

Taking T may or may not change his sex drive, depending on his body chemistry. But either way, hormones don't dictate someone's values. If your partner truly believes in having a monogamous relationship, that's what he'll do, regardless of whether his sex drive increases considerably or not. And, this is just my personal opinion on it, but I don't see why sex with you "might not be good enough anymore." I think the only changes as far as that goes is he probably will want to have sex more frequently than usual. And as far as the aggression goes, I know of a lot of transguys who say that they feel more calm and mellow after they started T.

You probably don't have anything to worry about, as long as you're not calling him "she" to his face

I'm also going to refer to your partner as 'he', only because, as others have said, this is the FTM forum. If he prefers to be called something else, I'll be more than willing to change it.

I doubt, completely, that he is going to change his principles because of T. I was on T for a month (changing states made me stop), and yes, my sex drive increased dramatically. I was bad enough before but it spiked it through the roof. However, I wasn't a sex-crazed womanizer. It just interested me more and since I believe heavily in monogamy, I turned to my partner for such needs. Everyone varies but an increased sex drive does not equal out to a player.

T has made me occasionally feel aroused, but not like a sexaholic. I don't actually desire sex any more now than I did before T. I have a low sex drive.

You better believe it, ask any male teen. Sex is in the male mind all the time, even when sleeping, hence the wet dreams. Enjoy it! Thanks to spiro mine went away as it should.

When my hersband started taking T hir sex drive became very pronounced. At first it was somewhat rough on hir as ze had been socialized female and had not been raised with the typical male coping mechanisms. Luckily I had  so I was able to teach hir the standard issue coping mechanisms I had been taught as a teen.
Now ze is definatly a horney devil things have mellowed out and it is easier for hir to control it.

As you can tell from the various responses here, there is no way to know how a man will react to T. Just need to wait and see.

If he becomes more sexualy aroused he will learn to adjust. If he doesn't have an increase in libido then then meh...

Quote from: cynthialee on May 12, 2011, 09:16:43 PM
At first it was somewhat rough on hir as ze had been socialized female and had not been raised with the typical male coping mechanisms. Luckily I had  so I was able to teach hir the standard issue coping mechanisms I had been taught as a teen.
Now ze is definatly a horney devil things have mellowed out and it is easier for hir to control it.

For Pete's sake, Cynthia, don't keep all these gems to yourself!! Do tell!!!

P.S. I could have used some advice two years ago when I was a millimeter away from molesting my therapist...

Split wood, work out, hit the punching bag for a half hour while yelling and screaming your fury, do yard work, distract yourself into your work and if all else fails....have sex or masturbate.

edit: oh yeah...I hate 'for Petes sake'. That was my male name.

Quote from: cynthialee on May 12, 2011, 09:36:56 PM
edit: oh yeah...I hate 'for Petes sake'. That was my male name.

Oh, dear. I can think of few names that are less appropriate for you...how about I say "For pity's sake" instead?

Sexaholic? Not yet.

But I do consider myself "awakened".

Mine changed but it never made me want to be with a bunch of different women...

That has to do with the person not the testosterone.

Also, does your partner know that you use female pronouns? Just curious as to how that works.

Quote from: JayUnit on May 13, 2011, 02:22:54 PM
Also, does your partner know that you use female pronouns? Just curious as to how that works.

Wondering the same thing. Actually it depends on the person as you can see with the already varied answers. For me I had no real sex drive but now I have an "average" one. Does that mean I want sex? Yeah.... obviously but that's does not mean I want to be with a bunch of people. I want to be with one person and figure when I am no longer single if they are not interested in sex as much as I am then that is what adult toy stores are for. Just because a person wants more sex than their partner does not mean that they have to cheat to get it.

Mine increased a lot, and it was already pretty high for 'female' sex drive. However after a while on T it started to mellow out and I didn't want to screw everything in sight, which may just be my experience alone. There have been heterosexual women who have gone on T who's sex drives increased so much their husbands couldn't keep up. We all go through different experiences. My experience is I used masturbate 3-5 times a day pre-t. People say bisexuals have higher sex drives though, so I have no idea if it's got anything to do with that or if that is true. In the beginning on T it stayed the same, but I just thought about it more, and because of lower growth (again not sure if others felt this) but the growing made it itchy so I'd constantly scratch myself through my pants and arouse myself, though just the itching was arousing. (Perhaps that's all too much information).  But yeah on T now I don't masturbate more often, I just think about it more. Also think about this, a lot of men only have sex with their wives once a day, sometimes only a few times a week and never cheat. Guys will deal if it means you are right for them and they don't want to lose you. If his sex drive increases to a rather high level just do something like oral (if he's okay with that), or tell him to jack off by himself. (Assuming like everyone else he's a he since the pronouns made me confused as well). This is something every guy does (well not every, but from what I know, most) to deal with their girlfriends differing sex drive.

yes my partner has made it  clear to me that right now she prefers that i avoid pronouns at all.. she never did live as a man but now that the the therapy has begun, once the changes kick in that is what we will do before she changes her name... but this is all new to me as far as terminology i dont use any other feminine words other than that so mayb i shuda just said tht first, sorry if i offended anyone.... also, right now i am pregnant with our 3rd child and i have had a dramatically decreased libido, which is y i am afraid the t will just make HIR go wild. but she hasnt so i guess im just really nervous and afraid about it all.  i am afraid once the t really kicks in i may not be as attractive to hir as i was before- im afraid about alot of things, what if im suddenly not hir type anymore, even after 8 years? i want to make sure i am prepared because i love my partner and i want everything to be perfect during the transition and i want to be perfect for hir. im just paranoid i guess because she is my world. and i suppose pregancy doesnt help it either.  but thanks for all the advice it helps to hear the reassurance.