He doesn't sound very polite.

QuoteHe had me give him a kiss before I went to the park and this other boy saw and thought we were both guys....who had a penis, so he said something and my boyfriend (Ugh, I hate saying that word because I want a girlfriend)

So why are you dating this guy?
And your mom obviously isn't seeing everything, if she likes this kid because he's "polite". Polite people don't run around commanding everyone else what to do and how to do it, and what to shave while doing so. Drop the ->-bleeped-<-, get fuzzy, and don't ->-bleeped-<- someone unless you really want to.
Seriously.
Whoever said it earlier was absolutely right, sleeping around will not make your orientation make sense, if anything it'll screw your perception up even more and (most likely) make you feel like crap in the long run.

Kentrie

There are many disturbing aspects to your thread. Go and see  a doctor if you are pregnant get the after pill or abort. IT IS YOUR CHOICE.  First signs,  Are your breasts more tender?
I'm sorry if this offends, but why have sex with a person you don't want to have sex with? Why date guys as a female if you are male? There is nothing to prove by having sex with someone.
I would be no less female if I had sex  using my (yuk) penis with another woman, it would not prove anything. Yes I would, or in the past, would have an orgasm, so what? If an FtM has his genital areas massaged  and has an orgasm does that make him female? 

As Arch says you may wish to pm Mods and Admins off site. We may not be able to help but we may be able to give some advice.

Your body is yours.

Cindy

What?

I feel guilty after having sex too. Suicidal, infact. I'm not attracted to women, only men. Finally had real sex with a guy and felt incredibly bad afterwards.

If I got...that p word....personally....I'd beat my stomach until the thing died. I'm not a woman, that stuff's not for me. But that's just me, that's what I've thought since I was a kid.

Never change for someone else, even if you're dating them. Been there, done that. Big mistake.

when you're experiencing signs of pregnancy it's usually too late for the morning after pill. you should try to get your hands on that right now. i mean now. a week from now, it will be too late for that, tomorrow, it may be too late for that.
you don't want to be pregnant, so do what you have to!

seriously man, it's the first thing you need to do. you can think about what to tell/not tell your mom or what to do with your "boyfriend" LATER.  Take some responsibility for yourself!




also, a guy who tells you he has low sperm count so he can go on doing you without a condom is NOT a father!

(1) You can buy the morning after pill over the counter. If it's been less than 72 hours, it's not too late. If you can manage to find time to have sex every day without your mother's permission, you can find time to go to the drugstore or Planned Parenthood. No excuses. Go. The pill isn't an abortion, it's pregnancy prevention, there's nothing to feel guilty about, just suck it up and go do it. Now.

(2) Get an STD test in the next 2 weeks, and another in about 6 weeks. If a person will have unprotected sex with you outside of a very long-term committed relationship, they've probably done it with other people, and no, I don't give a flying f if he told you he was a virgin/had been tested, he's a lying sack of crap if he did.

(3) Dump the motherf'ing ->-bleeped-<-. He's pressured you into sex, shown absolutely no concern for your feelings, and worst of all knowingly endangered your health. He isn't even worth being friends with. Lose him.

(4) Date guys if you want. Date girls if you want. But get some self-respect and stop doing things you don't want to do. And if you can't stand up for yourself within a relationship, then don't date anyone at all for a while until you grow up and learn to take care of yourself.

I agree with everyone else in that you should dump the guy and stay away from sex for now, there's really NO reason to rush into figuring out your orientation. I'm 34 and I've got my own issues to work out still. I'm not much into sex because I feel disgusted with myself for agreeing to or participating in any sexual act. But I'm from WV too so I know how backwards parents can be here. You look really young and it seems crazy to me that a mom would want to force her kid to have and raise a baby at such a young age. But small town people are religious and religion teaches them that the only purpose in life for women is to be barefoot & pregnant, in the kitchen cooking & cleaning & raising children. I sent you a PM and if you're in my area and need someone to talk to or even a ride somewhere just let me know.

What I want to said has already been said, so here:

http://www.whcwva.com/wv_abortionlaws.html

It's a link to a women's (sorry, but there just isn't a trans men abortion clinic) health clinic who performs abortions in West Virginia.  It has the laws regarding teen abortions in your state.  There are options for telling a parent and not telling a parent.  Regardless of which route you go, they'll still have to tell you about abortion alternatives and risks plus offer you an ultrasound to see the fetus.

I know that a lot of people are telling you to get an abortion or take the morning after pill (which, in WV, you can only get if you are 17+ or under 17 and have a prescription), but it's ultimately your decision.  Please don't feel pressured to make a decision you aren't comfortable with.

Quote from: JayUnit on May 13, 2011, 04:28:20 AM
What?

Seconded.  Sweetie are you for real because this is over the top madness

Kentri, man listen to them they are right. Don't screw up your life for someone else. Go get the morning after pill if there is still time. If your mom asks then, only a suggestion, wait then do a prego test and say you guess you aren't after all.

Seriously dump the guy and I second Kyrils good advice.

Quote from: Squirrel698 on May 13, 2011, 12:05:34 PM
Seconded.  Sweetie are you for real because this is over the top madness

Well considering he's from West Virginia, I'd guess so because it's common for kids to be VERY sheltered and controlled by their parents here. I've always said I had a strict upbringing, but still, even that was nowhere as strict as others I know have had. And I was extremely sheltered and that got me made fun of a lot at first when I was homeless, because at 16 I truly knew nothing and didn't get sex jokes. When you're sheltered, you don't learn how to act or learn the dangers of trusting others, sleeping around, etc. It took me a long time to get up to speed. Even now, I still get embarrassed and angry with myself for being a bit naive about just how bad others' intentions truly are. I still get shocked by the level of deception and ill intent in others and hate myself for being too dumb to see it before it's too late. 

I also had a strict background and had no clue about sex for a long time because of it.

According to this kid, his mother knows he is sleeping around after 2 days of knowing the guy.  Yet she doesn't object to that, only to ending what amounts to a formless mass of cells.  On top of that his mother thinks that the guy is 'polite.' 

That doesn't work with a sheltered background.  Or any kind of decency whatsoever. 

Yes I know it could all be true.  If so he needs to be removed from that house so his Mom can stop pimping him out. 

Going to far?  I have kids so situations like this just turn my stomach.   The one thing that gives me hope is that he is on this site.  Shows he still has a bit of free will. 

Maybe the guy puts on a different face to the mom? And I don't know them or anything, but it seems like parents can "accept" a child's promiscuity by basically ignoring it or not thinking about it because it's too unpleasant a thought for them to deal with and address. So they come down on the child for the end result, not the action. 

Or it could be some sick sh!t like the mom really wants grandchildren, regardless of her child's age?? 

I've had girlfriends who didn't treat me the greatest and they were the ones my mother loved because they had a very charming and manipulating personality, that's how they lure you in.

I just can not imagine ever having sex for that long while not enjoying it at all without saying anything and keeping them as a partner just 'because'. It doesn't make sense.

Despite how mad the mother might be that her child is pregnant it might be one of those things where she'd be a lot more mad if her kid had an abortion.

Quote from: N.Chaos on May 13, 2011, 03:52:27 AM
Whoever said it earlier was absolutely right, sleeping around will not make your orientation make sense, if anything it'll screw your perception you up even more

I learned this the hard way. It's all very well us saying "How on Earth can you keep doing this" until we're the ones in the middle of it. When your self-esteem's rock bottom, the word no doesn't exist in your vocabulary. You think it's all you deserve, you know no better so you settle for the attention you do get. Also, about the upbringing - sheltered or not, the wrong kind of peer pressure can trump everything and pull you into nasty situations, as we're seeing here.

Kyril and others gave some good advice, but partly as someone who's come out the other end, I have this to add:

1) I don't know how things work in the States, but I've heard shelters/youth help/whatever for homeless kids is out there. Look into that ASAP. If your mum would disown you for aborting an unwanted pregnancy, what's gonna happen with your being trans? Even if she doesn't kick you out, the atmosphere would be so toxic you wouldn't be able to breathe - sounds like it's getting that way already :S

2) Get yourself some counselling. Not the therapy we all need to go through transition, just general (preferably youth) counselling, so you can talk all this over with someone qualified to help. Get referred if that's what it takes. The trans stuff will come out no doubt, but you have bigger problems that need dealing with first.

3) Find a new circle of friends. People telling you to screw guys for the hell of it aren't friends, they're irresponsible arseholes.

4) Look into assertiveness classes, buy some books, whatever it takes so you can start working on your confidence.

You're probably finding this out already, but forcing yourself to have sex when you're clearly not enjoying it is self-rape. You hear so often about victims of rape, how they feel afterwards - it's the same when you do it to yourself. I speak from experience here - stop doing this before you cause yourself any more damage.

As to your last question: You don't experience signs of pregnancy until about a month later - and it's only about then you can do a reliable test. Depending how regular you are, you may notice missed periods first. I was never regular, so the first thing I noticed was nausea. I couldn't drink coffee, and I'm usually an avid coffee drinker. Even the smell of it made me sick.

And yes, people put on a lovely face to the parents; partly (I'm pretty sure) so that they won't believe you when you start explaining how they treat you. Mind you, if during said telling the floodgates open, that's a pretty good sign to the parents that you aren't making this up.

Quote from: Nemo on May 13, 2011, 03:00:59 PM

2) Get yourself some counselling. Not the therapy we all need to go through transition, just general (preferably youth) counselling, so you can talk all this over with someone qualified to help. Get referred if that's what it takes. The trans stuff will come out no doubt, but you have bigger problems that need dealing with first.

3) Find a new circle of friends. People telling you to screw guys for the hell of it aren't friends, they're irresponsible arseholes.

Agreed. Since you're in the states if you are nearby a college with a psychology/psychiatry program some of them have free or sliding scale counciling where the students (after a certain amount of time learning and such) practice under the eye of an experienced professional. Kinda like going to a hair school to get your haircut. Also if your high school has some sort of S.A.F.E. program (like a counciling program) the councilor there or maybe even your guidance councilor can refer you to a councilor outside who is free or sliding scale. Do be careful what you say to them (the school councilor) because asking for the help for a friend is one thing but if you say anything about yourself being in danger or someone else in danger they have the right to report it (some of them tend to find loopholes to report things or call parents) so I'd say your friend nearby needs some counciling and he can't aford it.

Quote from: Nemo on May 13, 2011, 03:00:59 PM
I learned this the hard way. It's all very well us saying "How on Earth can you keep doing this" until we're the ones in the middle of it. When your self-esteem's rock bottom, the word no doesn't exist in your vocabulary. You think it's all you deserve, you know no better so you settle for the attention you do get. Also, about the upbringing - sheltered or not, the wrong kind of peer pressure can trump everything and pull you into nasty situations, as we're seeing here.

Nemo's right on everything, especially that specific part. That's probably why I initially got so pissed off reading your post, I've been in that spot before where you think you're so worthless you deserve every kind of crap imaginable. And I look back on it now, and it just pisses me off like nothing else. You've got to break that trend, and the sooner the better.

I was supposed to start my period last night and I thought I did but I'm barely bleeding...I'm just spotting and I had sex the first time with him 4 days ago, I read that that's a pregnancy symptom but some people tell me that having sex can make your period do weird stuff like that. My boyfriend told me if I didn't start my period in two days then he would buy me a pregnancy test but I wouldn't be able to take the test until the first week of June. The last time we had sex was 3 days ago so the morning after pill wouldn't work either.

So youre not breaking up with him?
Im really hoping you learn to respect yourself.