OK so behaving male seems to be an issue for me. I know I FEEL male inside, but sometimes I act way to girly and I need to work on that. I guess part of the reason is my family expects me to be a girl so I do all I can to make them happy so I haven't really had the chance to practice. How do I behave male? I've tried studying my father's behaviour and sometimes I have rare cases when I act a little male myself. Other than that I haven't got any idea on how to act like a boy. Any suggestions? Advice?

What do you want advice with exactly? Having lived as male for 17 years, I think I've picked up a few things about them.

Like how to walk like a boy and stuff. I guess because I'm biologically female and I hang out with my sister all the time it's kinda hard :/

Well, the most important part, don't swing your hips. Arm gestures are mostly unimportant, but if you want to work on that, just don't sway them in a flamboyant fashion, and keep them in a consistent position and direction with the sides of your hands facing forward and you'll be fine.

And sorry that took so long, took me forever to figure out how to explain arm motions. >.<

no problem and thanks for the tips!

Yw, if there's anything else I can help with, I'm here.

Guys can be girlie. If you identify as male then you walk as a male, talk as a male, etc.

I totally understand where you're coming from, Josh.

But I also agree with Nygeel.   At least, I try to tell myself that I shouldn't worry to much about trying to live up to the stereotypical male.  I try to tell myself that it's not about being as masculine as I can, it's just about being myself.  Even if I'm a girly guy. 

And I still do believe that.  But I also want to be seen as male.  So I've been trying to find a balance between the two.

I think I really screwed myself up when I was living as a girl, because I never felt like I lived up to being a girl, and I remember as a teen that I would watch the behavior and manners of girls my age and would try to imitate it in hopes of living up to more of a girl.  And I did that for so long that I had made these manners a habit.   And now I feel like I need to undo that so I begin to really be myself.  But habits are hard to unlearn.  And it's harder for me to "not act like a girl" than it is for me to "act like a guy."   because it's easier for me to replace one habit with another, than it is for me to just remove any habit entirely. 
Plus, passing is really nice.  So I do want to learn to have male mannerisms.  But I also want to be careful to not that that too far.  I still got to just be myself too.


Anyways, all that being said.  I'm not sure how to say how to act like a male.  Just watch male a lot, study how they do things. 
I notice that girls move their hands around a lot more when they talk than males do. 
For posture, I notice that guys either stand straight up and down, or their shoulders hunch over a little.   Now girls seem to have a posture where their butt sticks out a little and their shoulders are pulled a little and their chest comes out and up.   Like for girls, the small of their back is pulled in more, giving their spine a noticeable curve.   Whereas on guys, it seems like their spine just goes straight up and down.  Sorry if this is a bad explanation.  it's really much better to watch them walk in person.   Girls just have much more curves to them and their bodies seem to flow when they walk.   Whereas guys seem straight and bland. they walk kind of stiff.

Of course, there are exceptions to everything.  This is just what I've noticed "in general".  I also have seen a lot of females walking in a more male way, and vice versa.  But of course, they can walk however they want when they don't have to worry about passing.

How to walk like a guy 101:
When you look at other people make sure you're only looking at either a woman's tits or her ba-donka-donk if she has one.
Say hi, or mumble something, then quickly walk by.
Take long strides.
Clomp a little with all of your foot, and by all means never walk just on your toes or ball of your foot.
Skip stairs when you're going up, taking two or three at a time.
Wear larger shoes than you really need.
Wear larger pants than you really need.

There you go. Class is over. lmao !!!

Something that might help, is to deliberately derail from gender equality in research, and look at masculine nature, habits, and biology.  After that, work back into yourself and adjust accordingly.
For example, while females seem to have more lower body weight, males have more upper body weight from upper body development.   Because of that, males will lead more with their upper body in their movements, while females will roll their foot movement into position, and lead more with their lower body.  Also, men have a mindset to be very -blunt-.  Acting and talking more statistical may end up being seen as more masculine.  Being more to the point and less 'graceful' through things might also help things, as men interface more with the situation than their emotions.  This is probably where the gender correlation comes from in the myer's-briggs (it was either Thinking and Intuition, or Feeling and Sensing.  I think it was the first pair, but the pair I'm referencing has mostly males on one side, and mostly females on the other.)
I'm not sure how genuine this data is, thanks to some distrust-causing issues with my local supporters and friends, but I hope it gives an example to go by. ^^ Also, watching videos of men doing...uhm... boy things, might give you more oppertunities to pay attention to their motions and patterns than simply watching people around you.

Simply being very crude and perverted as possible ventures towards stereotypical territory.  (I know...like one guy who spits to the side XDX)  Attach some line of logic out of your decisions of behaving particular ways, and remember that you had to have had these behaviors for so long without getting thrown out of every job interview and into every jail.  (For example, perversion in male gazes comes from that men seem to be so straight-to-situation that they more easily leave their attention out in the open.) Overplaying your role can be as bad as underplaying, IMO. :\

But in the end of the day, there's something more important than all of this...Everything isn't about how you can be a man...but...how you can be you.  You have your inner man, it's a matter of figuring out what he wants to do. ^.^

Don't worry so much about it and you'll save yourself a lot of heartache and anxiety.  I have really tried to tone myself down with my "is this male enough"  "is that male enough" questioning of myself and it's really helped me as far as my confidence has gone. 

My biggest advice is never be the passive one.

Some of the advice sounds like it's Neanderthal 101.  OMG!  Biggest advice really is, just be yourself.  Anything else is going to come off looking very fake. 

Quote from: chakka on May 12, 2011, 08:53:52 AM
Biggest advice really is, just be yourself.  Anything else is going to come off looking very fake. 

Seconded.

Only thing I would say, is don't cross one leg over the other when you sit down anywhere. It just ain't something a guy can do with any degree of comfort. Or if you do, make the leg cross at right angles, to provide... breathing room, as it were.

I have to post this video from Jordan, one of the MtF Youtubers, about the guy head nod.  Trust me, as far as passing goes, it's HUGE.  But it's also so subtle that most people don't think about it.

Basically, if you feel that you've made uncomfortably long eye contact with a guy (can even be as short as half a second) this nod means, "No worries, dude, I wasn't checking you out.  Laters."  You really do see guys doing this all the time when you pay attention, particularly if two guys pass each other in an otherwise deserted tight space like a hallway.  Sometimes it's accompanied by a brief "How you doin'?" but the nod is pretty much a staple.

(EDIT - the nod also means "Yeah, we cool" but I totally spaced putting that in before).

Give it a shot!

Holy crap, Jordan is HOT.

Um, sorry...what were we talking about? 

Quotemy family expects me to be a girl so I do all I can to make them happy

IMO, this is one of the unmanliest things we can do...try so hard to please other people that we cannot be true to ourselves.
Unhabit that and let yer dude out.

Hahahah yess the head nod. I've been doing that since I was pre-trans-coming-out uhhrr type deal but I never realized it until girlfriends I've had got really annoyed since I would do it to them every time we'd meet without thinking about it. I guess it's always been an instinct although I do it to women too still. Which I probably should stop hahah.

I found myself going out of my way to behave more like a male when I was pre-T, now I don't try as hard since it's obvious by sight to people that I'm male. But that's only with small-talk with men, I will act different, like more douchey because most men seem to do that amongst other men. I'd advise not looking at every woman's breasts when she walks by because they're not dumb and it can come across as creepy and weird. But of course pretend you were looking when talking to the guys hahah 

And yes, learn tools if you can. I remember my dad taught me about tools when I was a little kid because I bugged him to but most dads don't normally do that with... us when we were kids. Even then that was so long ago and just the basics. I've had guys laugh at me because I said I needed a screwdriver for something and they asked what head it needed and I didn't know but I didn't think to look (duhh right). And remember with screws and nuts it's lefty loosey and righty tighty.

I used to work at a Vet clinic, and I used to carry huge dog bowls full of water (heavy ones) near my hips/ center of gravity. After doing so I would walk as best I could without swaying my hips/ spilling the water. I've developed a sort of swagger walk, by turning my feet outward as I walk (stopping my inner thighs from rubbing together). It seems to work well for me.

There are approximately three billion ways of being a man in the world today, and more being born every second. You don't have to be a walking, scratching, spitting, cursing stereotype out of a bad sitcom.

I think you'll find your authentic masculinity is whatever's left when you strip away your learned feminine behaviours.

edit: but the head nod! lol. Yeah, I always did that...but when you present female, it doesn't get reciprocated. It's weird. Sometimes people give you strange looks. But it's just one of those things I picked up when I was a kid, and I can't not do it.

The way I like at it is basically simple.  Yet I am a simple guy so it all works out.

I am male.  So thus anything I do is acting male.  There is no other way for me to act if I'm being genuine.

At first I did try to emulate other guys I saw around me.  This made me tense and spend to much time second guessing myself.  Once I stopped that song and dance and just did what came natural, people accepted me much more.

These days no one second guesses if I'm a guy or not.  Yet according to my partner I still have a swing in my hips.