(this is US-centric, so if you aren't in the USA, ignore this...)
If you have top surgery, but don't change any paperwork, I think that you would not have any trouble anywhere in the US marrying a man. You could only marry a woman if the state allowed same-sex marriage.
If you change your driver's license AND have top surgery, but don't change your birth certificate, it's a bit more murky. it depends on the state - some will go by your chromosomes, some will go by your birth certificate, some MIGHT go by your surgical status (I say might because I don't know of any case that involved a guy with this set of circumstances). Most would probably accept your birth certificate (female) gender for the purpose of marriage though.
If you change your birth certificate, driver's license, AND have top surgery, it's still a mixed bag and depends upon the state. And of course things could change with just one judge changing his mind.
The problem right now is that there is no law that defines male or female. So it comes down to what judges in the area think makes someone male or female. There is no legal definition of male or female, thus there is no generic legally recognized sex - it's up to each government unit what they want to do. For instance, Social Security almost certainly has different rules than your state's DMV, and both have different rules than your state's department of vital records (for the birth certificate). As for marriage itself, different jurisdiction have decided what makes someone male or female differently. There's no consistent or "safe" definition right now, unfortunately.
What I'd say is to present the paperwork that matches what you want to do in a way that would be legal in the jurisdiction (in a state that prohibits same sex marriage, you'll need to be able to prove - both at time of marriage and at any point where the marriage is challenged down the road - that you were an opposite sex person at time of marriage). In some states, marriages have been declared invalid if your partner didn't know your history before you got married, so that's something to think about too.
We really need to get the government out of the sex determination business. There's no good black-and-white method of labeling people, and there are very few things where the sex of the person actually matters to government. That's the solution - fix the law! Don't require marriage to be "one man and one woman" when you can't define man or woman!
As for the wedding itself, I wore a suit to mine. It's slightly less formal than a tux, but more formal than anything without a coat and tie. What a man wears depends on where you are getting married and how formal it is, as well as what the couple wants. I'd encourage you to, when you find that right person, to do what fits your relationship - show your love and commitment, and your understanding of what a marriage is, in whatever way fits your relationship.
