This is my experience today:

At this point on hormones (I'm 20 and have been on hormones for 6 months) and with my girly hair/eyebrows I look somewhat androgynous in my opinion but still get sir'd 100% of the time. It's really demoralizing to hear the word "sir" and my mother came with me but doesn't know I'm transsexual yet so she wanted me to look at guy clothes because I barely have any clothes and guy clothes just make me want to vomit! It's depressing, especially with all of the feminine clothes I always walk by...I'm not confident enough to try them out in a mall yet.

Also people give me weird looks and stares, how do I handle this? I don't think I'm paranoid; I've never noticed people looking at me like this. I probably look like a really feminine guy to others.

At least something good came of today - I went to the MAC store inside the mall. The girl there was really nice and put some concealer under my eyes and some foundation  I've always liked makeup I just rarely wear it out or know enough about it

I would not be confident enough to try on any girls' clothes either, just yet. I will also have that problem: I need clothes, and I'm very reluctant to buying guys'. Maybe we should try online shopping, even though it's risky regarding sizes...

But well, make a timeline, look how long clothes usually last when you have them, and look at when you think you might pass. If you can endure it and the clothes get worn out before you can pass anyway, then you may go to the guys' section and try to find some androgynous stuff. There are usually a couple good finds.

For the weird looks, I get them every day. I also get laughs. But even though I don't like it, my - working - solution is the following: LOOK LOST. Yeah. I try to look like I'm in a big daze, completely ignore them and look at the big nothing in front of me. Then I can usually just forget those people.

Ignore them staring eyes, just walk with an air of confidence as if you are completely normal and they are the ones with problems, after all, the reality is they do have problems, if they can take enough time out of their lives to give you such wonderful attention. I know its difficult, but I had to deal with that for a good year+ before I even got on hormones and was dressed completely as a woman (nothing outlandish, but still feminine enough to put a target on me), and did not quite fit the look well then. Show no fear, don't give them any attention, after a while you won't even realize they are even paying any attention to you, so long as they keep their distance (gawking and whispering) and don't confront you, no harm done, this you can deal with.

Oh, and I wasn't confident right away with trying out women's clothes either, not in public, at first I'd find things in catalogs and pick things out, but it was always difficult knowing if things would fit properly. Eventually I did have the courage to buy clothes in stores, but it was especially difficult for me to look at bras in panties in stores, always got nervous so bad that I'd sometimes get dizzy, because I knew I was being watched, that I didn't quite fit the part, but it got easier as time went on, those hormones did wonderful things with my face, body as well as my whole demeanor. Now, because I do fit in completely, I have no problems at all with whatever I'm shopping for, no more fears. You'll get there, just give it time, build up your courage a little bit at a time.

I kind of got lucky on this one... the first person I came out to got so excited that she deemed it necessary to give me some of her old clothes right that very day.  Granted, she's 5'3" and I'm 5'11", but I was built like a little twig and she had some stuff that was really big on her that fit me perfectly. 

So the very next day, I went full time (no rush or anything) and decided it was about time I told my boss why I'd been growing my hair out and wearing makeup to work for the year prior.  That weekend, I went shopping with some friends and had girl clothes to wear on my first shopping trip thanks to my other friend giving me that stuff earlier in the week.  About four more shopping trips with yet another friend of mine, and I gathered up the courage to go out shopping on my own.

It's not in my nature to do things half-assed, so what was the first store I went to on my very first time out on my own?  Victoria's Secret.  Figured if I could do that, I could handle just about anything.    And it was true.

But overall, as others have mentioned, this is a process of building up confidence (and building the skeleton of a wardrobe that you can wear out to get more wardrobe).  It gets easier over time, you just have to make that initial leap.

Quote from: Megan Joanne on May 13, 2011, 05:46:21 PM
but it was especially difficult for me to look at bras in panties in stores, always got nervous so bad that I'd sometimes get dizzy, because I knew I was being watched,

I still get like this the few times I present 100%.

If I'm just being androgynous me, I'm relaxed, look at purses, swimsuits, shoes...... no looks no worries  but put a little liner on, earrings and little more girly clothing bam! I get somewhat nervous Even though I know I pass.

Last time I purposely went over to a clearance section in the lingerie dept. , only because there was a mother and daughter there, I was side by side both of them at a rack, almost bumped into the daughter, they both didn't even bat an eye lash, and I am very observing in a very inconspicuous way. I was very relaxed and this definitely wasn't my first time, but I just wanted to test myself again for some reason. I still have a little nervousness.

Has been said many times here but confidence shows, when you walk and act like you know who you are it shows likewise when you appear uncertain that makes people around wonder

body gestures are subtle

just be and you will be fine you see

Thanks for the responses everyone.

Quote from: JungianZoe on May 13, 2011, 11:23:38 PM
I kind of got lucky on this one... the first person I came out to got so excited that she deemed it necessary to give me some of her old clothes right that very day.  Granted, she's 5'3" and I'm 5'11", but I was built like a little twig and she had some stuff that was really big on her that fit me perfectly. 

So the very next day, I went full time (no rush or anything) and decided it was about time I told my boss why I'd been growing my hair out and wearing makeup to work for the year prior.  That weekend, I went shopping with some friends and had girl clothes to wear on my first shopping trip thanks to my other friend giving me that stuff earlier in the week.  About four more shopping trips with yet another friend of mine, and I gathered up the courage to go out shopping on my own.

It's not in my nature to do things half-assed, so what was the first store I went to on my very first time out on my own?  Victoria's Secret.  Figured if I could do that, I could handle just about anything.    And it was true.

But overall, as others have mentioned, this is a process of building up confidence (and building the skeleton of a wardrobe that you can wear out to get more wardrobe).  It gets easier over time, you just have to make that initial leap.

That's awesome! I kinda wish I had some friends to push me to do it but I have very few friends and none that are girls so it's not happening.

Find a place you can go shop without feeling too nervous.. go to another part of town where no one knows you, or to somewhere like a thrift store or a place like target/walmart, they are generally much less intimidating than shopping in the mall.

Trust me it is much easier to pass if you build up your confidence little by little shopping in guy mode.  Once you get to the point where you don't care what people think when they see you as a man shopping for womens clothes then you will find it much easier to be confident being in public fully dressed. 

That kind of confidence is 100% required to pass, even if you have a very feminine appearance you will get clocked alot if you lack confidence and you walk around looking nervous all the time.

I can pass appearance wise but my voice is not there yet, but I will go anywhere and talk to anyone and no one gives me trouble because I am confident and not afraid of them finding out I am trans.  In fact I find that other girls are usually extremely nice to me because they know that I am trans and I don't act weird about it, many times I will strike up a conversation with girls in the dressing room or ask them for advice and they will end up picking out outfits for me and giving me suggestions, sometimes the employees even give me discounts because they have so much fun 'playing dress up' with me.

I do not come across as creepy or threatening because girls can see that I put a lot of effort into trying to pass (ie appropriate makeup, appropriate clothes and hairstyle to blend in given the location and time of day), and because I am confident and sincere when I ask for their help.  If you are dressed like a fetishistic crossdresser/drag queen in revealing or inappropriate clothing or if you act overly nervous like you do not belong there then you are likely to come across as creepy/pervert in which case you will not get a positive response.

I think online shopping is great. I get stuff from Amazon because they always use discreet packaging. Figured out the hard way that I'm a petite size, though, so do mind the sizing  .

I used to get nervous during the first year of transition but I found that like just shelly said if I just went out as "me" in the present and not who I will blossom into then I was fine. I figured that I didn't want to push it and rush myself. I relaxed and just dressed according to how I presented at that time, which even now is still quite androgynous, even though my mum pushes me and says I look more fem if I actually wear nicer stuff meh I prefer simple stuff for now. I think 3-4 years in I may experiment more but I'd rather clothes to be the final touch than to be something that may raise an eyebrow. Plus being comfortable is everything, if you are nervous then you may be pushing yourself, if you are nervous buying it will you be nervous wearing it?

Quote from: Just Shelly on May 14, 2011, 12:35:55 AM
I still get like this the few times I present 100%.

If I'm just being androgynous me, I'm relaxed, look at purses, swimsuits, shoes...... no looks no worries  but put a little liner on, earrings and little more girly clothing bam! I get somewhat nervous Even though I know I pass.

This is me 100%! I rarely ever wear makeup for this reason and I've come to realize it is because I have a fear if I'm wearing makeup it will cause people to look more and I might get read. The funny thing is that vie been told by some because I don't try that hard makes me blend in more. On the flip side all the girls in my life alway push me to start wearing makeup more ..go figure

I have learned that if I don't care what others think of me when I am shopping-they don't care what I am doing. They may look but never look twice. I used to be so self conscious especially when looking for a bra or panties but now don't give it a thought.
I have bought makeup once and was nervous but it does get easier-you just have to go for it. Next time I am going to a counter and get help with doing my eyes and brows.

Randi

been on hormones for 6 months...my mother came with me but doesn't know I'm transsexual yet

She going to notice at some point, if not already.  When exactly are you planning to tell her?

Quote from: Randi on May 18, 2011, 12:27:26 PM
I have learned that if I don't care what others think of me when I am shopping-they don't care what I am doing. They may look but never look twice. I used to be so self conscious especially when looking for a bra or panties but now don't give it a thought.
I have bought makeup once and was nervous but it does get easier-you just have to go for it. Next time I am going to a counter and get help with doing my eyes and brows.

Randi

I'm going to do that too next time I go to a makeup counter 

Quote from: tekla on May 18, 2011, 12:48:53 PM
been on hormones for 6 months...my mother came with me but doesn't know I'm transsexual yet

She going to notice at some point, if not already.  When exactly are you planning to tell her?

I don't know, I find it really hard to tell people so I just haven't yet...but she probably suspects something.

I remember making a thread or post about the difference between telling people and letting them figure it out by themselves. I don't think either way is better than the other because if you tell people before you do anything then they don't "See it", but if you let them come to you and ask questions like "what have you done with your hair? are you thinking of getting it cut?" kinda stuff then with time it just makes sense to them, they "see it". I guess in a way letting yourself become more androgynous if you're not already and having people consider in their own minds for that to be just who you are already. Less of a shock.

I've always figured that if you pass in androgynous clothes then... you pass!!