So if you've been following my story at all, you'll know that I've been stabbed in the back by one psych, spoken down to and insulted by another, and had started over for the third time from scratch with M. Leonhardt, who came highly recommended on this forum.

Since then I received a letter from her for T, and took it to my doctor. Today I got a letter in the mail telling me that she wouldn't accept the letter that read 'Following discussion it was agreed that this level of councelling assessment and intervention was not a sufficient basis on which to proceed with your treatment.  I reiterate my advice to you to seek a formal psychiatric review ideally with a psychiatrist experienced in gender issues who would also be willing to be involved with your ongoing care.'

I was in counselling with M. Leonhardt for three months, and she stated in her letter all of her qualifications, her years worth of experience, and the fact that she would be involved in my follow-up care.

As if that wasn't bad enough, it then goes on to say:
'I am certainly more than willing to be involved with your ongoing medical care but I feel these decisions should not be taken lightly and not without full understanding and advice from those experienced in these specialised issues.'

Are you f***ing kidding me?! I've been going to see this doctor for a year and a half now, and she thinks I'm making this decision lightly?! I've spent thousands of dollars starting over and over, trying to find some way that the system will let me be myself and break away from this missery, and this is how she treats me?! Not to mention Melissa is about as highly qualified and experienced in these issues as they come, how the hell is she not good enough?!

So what the hell am I supposed to do now? Start all over again? For the fourth time? I can't do it, I just can't keep putting myself through this, but there's no other way. I really don't know if I have it in me to open up to yet another person, who might just royally screw me over like the others have, just to satisfy some sick sense of self-rightousness that my doctor has. And I definitely don't have the money to fork out hundreds of dollars a session to go and see someone when I've already paid, done the time, and received a well informed diagnosis.

Please god someone tell me there's a way around this. I just don't think I can do it all over again...

I would find a different doctor ... you have done the steps ... find a doctor who will accept her letter.  Seems silly to me.  Sorry for all the problems man!

I agree with Rob.  You've got the correct letter.  Find a new Doc.  I get my scrip from a trans-friendly endocronologist.  Try doing a web search for trans-friendly docs in your area.  Don't give up yet.

Where are you located?

I'm in Australia, that's the main reason my doc wouldn't accept the letter. I don't see why that should matter though, I still did the counselling with a qualified professional, I don't see how she can just ignore that because she doesn't like the way I did it.

My town has two endo's, one who isn't trans friendly, and one who demanded that I get a letter from a specific woman, which was the person who stabbed me in the back the first time around. I'm not sure if there's another doctor here I can try...the only reason my doc said she would be able to accept a letter in the first place was because she'd been working with me for so long and knows I'm serious. Now...what? Suddenly I'm not serious anymore? Now that I have the letter it's not good enough?

It sounds like she is just using you for your cash. Can you travel to a nearby place to see a different endo? Clearly after a year and a half you are serious so I would not think that is the case. I'd say do the best you can to find another endo because like Rob said you have the letter now so it sounds like you need a new doc not a new therapist. Who's to say you see another therapist for a year and a half that this doc wont just do the same thing again. Sorry you're going through this man *hug*

Another suggestion is not to go to an endo.... I have heard of gyno's proscribing them ... internal medicine folks and general doctors ....check around ... you might find someone who will work with you

Yeah, the doctor who was going to prescribe me T on receipt of a letter was a GP, so perhaps there's another one somewhere who will accept it, but I don't know how to go about finding them. To go to another endo I would need to go to a different town, and the trip alone will cost me hundreds, let alone the fact that an appointment with an endo will set me back over several hundred. I just can't afford to make that trip when I don't even know if they'll accept.

Just a suggestion.  Where you have worked with this doc for a while, how would you feel in having one last conversation with her.  Tell her you have done the hard work.  Have spent almost 2 years doing the therapy etc., and are now in a place where you need to and are ready to take the next step, which is hormone therapy.  And, if it feels right, grant her permission to talk with your therapist.  That way your Doc gets first hand knowledge of your therapist's credentials and first hand knowledge of your readiness and need for the hormones.  Might work...might not.  Sometimes we have to jump through those hoops.  I did this when I needed the second letter for chest surgery.  Hang in there. 

I already did all of that when I took in my letter, it also had all of Leonhardts contact details in it, with both my and Leonhardt's express permission to call her and speak about it over the phone.

I'm sorry. You're right, you shouldn't have to put up with this crap.

Perhaps you can write a letter back to your doctor and address each of her concerns one by one, as logically and directly as possible. If she still doesn't bend, then there is something seriously wrong with her.

I was also thinking that perhaps you can scope out other doctors by writing to them. It's worth a shot.

You have a letter for hormones. That puts you closer than you were. All you need now is an M.D. Don't give up hope.

I would go back and argue with her, but she told me when I gave her the letter that if it was a no, the no was sound. It also says in her letter that 'After re-visiting your counsellor's letter and your case in general, I spoke to my medical indemnity provider as I said to you I would.' which is then followed by the line I wrote about above 'Following discussion it was agreed this level of counselling assessment and intervention was not sufficient' etc etc.

I'm really not sure what this is, but it seemed like it was her insurance or something similar, which she would need to consult with before being able to say yes to me. She told me she didn't think it was good enough, but she would check with them and get back to me. That's when I got the letter in the mail telling me it's a definite no.

Couple suggestions I have

* is there a trans support organization or a Human Rights organization in your country that you can call and get them to help adovacte for you?

*  you can do what one guy did on this board and just start calling doctors around you and see if any of them are willing to work with you.

*  My son lives 5 hours away from his doctor -- -he gets the orders for labs and has them done near his school & then has them faxed to her.  They have a phone consultation and she gives his a new script.   You could try calling doctors in other parts and see if they would be willing to work with you via phone & have your labs drawn at home.  You might be surprised and find a doctor willing to work with you.

Thanks Rob for all of the suggestions. I've just sent an email to my city's support group in the hopes that someone will be able to suggest a good doctor for me, so fingers crossed.

I'm really worried though, what if every tells me the same thing? What if it's some kind of insurance thing that means they won't give hormones to someone who does online counselling? Though I don't see how her being in a different country affects the fact that she's a qualified and experienced professional... Nor does it say anywhere in the guidelines that counselling must be done face to face...I should think it's up to the counsellor to decide what kind of counselling is good enough, isn't that their job? 

Yup just calling around was what I did. Said I had my letter explained what I needed and asked if they'd be willing to help me. I got hung up on a lot and told no a good few times but eventually found someone. Turned out for the better too cause The well known trans friendly doc wanted $200 and then another $100 before she would consider it where-as the family practice doc only wanted $95 and wanted to wait for bloodwork until 6 months as long as I didn't have any bad side effects. I looked up well known insurance companies then put in my city and started calling doctors on those lists. Good luck man

Just so you know those prices were without insurance because I don't have any.

I have the basic gov medical coverage that everyone else here has, but it doesn't get all that much back for me. My first psych cost me $280 an appointment, a single appointment with the psych in the next town over to me set me back $400, and each appointment with an endo (I've had three so far) was $380, and that's without including travel costs and accomodation.

Compared to that, the $75 I have to pay a GP is so much more affordable, that's why I was so desperate for this to work out. Here's hoping I can find another who will accept, without costing me every cent I earn, and then some

If I don't hear back from the support group about likely doctors to try, I think I'll definitely be trying the call around things. It's the only option I have left

That's some real BS!!! It sounds like everyone you're seeing in person is against your transition, and the online counselors are just looking to suck money from people because there's no such thing as finding a gender counselor in every town and city the way you can find marriage/adolescent/addiction & other such specialized counselors everywhere. 

hey i know how you feel ive gone through 3 psycologists 5 councilers and 3 psyciatrists before i found one who was willing to give me a letter of recomendation to an endo. and the previous ones said i was psycotic and mentally unstable and that my gender dysporia was from me feeling weak and being.a dog with all bark and no bite. and another said depression due to bullying. another said i wasnt able to get itgin to swe done unless i had six years of therapy. another decided yo ignore it and say i was pretty and should respext my parents and be a good girl. many years later im 20 and only now starting to be myself after having shrinks tell me im sick amd need medication to treat my psycotic episodes as my parents claim i have. its anxiety depression and due to all this being repressed so long im occasionally violent but only if things really kick me in the teeth. and the fact that i have pts 'post traumatic stress' from the years of being forced into a mold i dont fit bu parents and doctors and hundreds of metal breakdowns later almost to the point of scitzophrenia when i wanted someone to understand me for who i was anf not what they saw was i only recently able to take a stand stop the nightmares and insomnia and get the confidence to bind. stand up to pee and even start soccer and body building much to my parents disgust. i may be pre t but now im more myself than i have been in 14 years.

I'm having problems of the sort, but my problem is with my therapist. She doesn't seem to believe that I'm actually trans. :/