I was talking to Viola in the chat and I said to her that I don't think I would do the current from of SRS. I've researched it and the current way of SRS and decided I just don't like the way it is done, it's not quite what I want. I guess it works for most people but I wouldn't settle for it just because it's the only option, I wouldn't get an outfit that I wasn't completely happy with just because it was the only option I had available so then why would I have SRS if I know I wouldn't be compliantly satisfied with the results. Not I am not knocking anyone who has gone through or is planning on going through the current SRS I'm just saying I know what I would want from SRS and it's currently not offered. Does any MTF's feel the same what that I do about the whole thing? I would love to hear everyones opinion about this.

Quote from: Moxie F. on May 21, 2011, 05:22:06 AM
I was talking to Viola in the chat and I said to her that I don't think I would do the current from of SRS. I've researched it and the current way of SRS and decided I just don't like the way it is done, it's not quite what I want. I guess it works for most people but I wouldn't settle for it just because it's the only option, I wouldn't get an outfit that I wasn't completely happy with just because it was the only option I had available so then why would I have SRS if I know I wouldn't be compliantly satisfied with the results. Not I am not knocking anyone who has gone through or is planning on going through the current SRS I'm just saying I know what I would want from SRS and it's currently not offered. Does any MTF's feel the same what that I do about the whole thing? I would love to hear everyones opinion about this.

While I understand and fully share your sentiments about the shortcomings I think you are neglecting the fact that living a successful and happy life is the art of the compromise.

99 times out of a hundred the choice in life is simply NOT that simple because there are real consequences to each action or non action.

Always holding out for exactly what you want is a recipe for bitterness and frustration on a grand scale - and indeed in many cases would result in almost certain early death. For example I would like to be able to live in a palace. I cant afford one, but it doesn't stop me buying or renting a house, because if I don't then I will be homeless and probably dead in a short while from one of the many complications that afflict those who must sleep rough.

To use your outfit analogy the choice not to buy it is the product of a rather spoiled and privileged way of thinking - which assumes  you have other clothes and therefore no consequences to not buying it. What if the consequence of not buying it was that you had no other clothes and would therefore have to walk around nude.  You might then be arrested for indecency and maybe, in some cultures, put to death? Would you buy it then even though it wasn't your perfect choice? Of course you would.

Well that is more the way that I think about SRS. Yes I wish it was better but the non-op option would have had consequences - namely my certain death! Without surgery my hatred of my genitals was undoubtedly sufficient that I would have taken a knife to them or smashed them to pulp with a hammer! It was only the lucky early life discovery that surgery WAS possible which stayed my hand.

Now I am not going to get myself banned or reprimanded by suggesting that if you don't dislike your genitals to that extent then you are not genuine because that would be wrong, but what I will say is that there are clearly differing motivations here. If you CAN live with your original setup then I envy you, because I never could. So for those of us who feel as I do the limitations of SRS are just part of life. As they say life isn't perfect.

I thought the same way a couple of years prior to srs.  Now, after 8 months post and a few ups and downs, I realize that things aren't really that bad.  Sure, it's not perfect but, then again, nothing really is--and I doubt that the surgery itself will ever be perfect as much of it depends on how we heal.  In my case everything works, I've lost no depth, I have no problems dilating and, even though things are still falling into shape, it really doesn't look all that bad.

I'm now finding that the surgery itself is more than just the physical--there's a big mental change which takes place as well.  With me I'm now doing things that I never did pre-op like--GOING OUT!  I never really had any friends to speak of so, pre-op, I basically kept to myself and stayed indoors.  Now, I find myself going out and doing things that I only wanted to do prior.  Today, for example, I'm spending the day in one of our local parks taking photos--a new hobby that I only dreamed of doing pre-op.

The bottom line is, I went into this with the lowest of expectations and have come out with far more than I bargained for AND,  it was FREE!

I am not sure what is the problem.

Externally it is all the same, knowing biology the tissues which make it up are the same too.

Internally, ok, it is a bit artificial (again, just due to the lack of the organs, tissues are the same) but one day we'll be able to transplant organs and that will deal with it.

The only other thing to bear in mind is the scars and healing which for now is a fact, due barely if at all visible.

Why not tell us what you do not approve of the surgery so we may be able to see if some of it is misguided or not?

Quote from: Kristyn on May 21, 2011, 06:07:13 AM
I thought the same way a couple of years prior to srs.  Now, after 8 months post and a few ups and downs, I realize that things aren't really that bad.  Sure, it's not perfect but, then again, nothing really is--and I doubt that the surgery itself will ever be perfect as much of it depends on how we heal.  In my case everything works, I've lost no depth, I have no problems dilating and, even though things are still falling into shape, it really doesn't look all that bad.

I'm now finding that the surgery itself is more than just the physical--there's a big mental change which takes place as well.  With me I'm now doing things that I never did pre-op like--GOING OUT!  I never really had any friends to speak of so, pre-op, I basically kept to myself and stayed indoors.  Now, I find myself going out and doing things that I only wanted to do prior.  Today, for example, I'm spending the day in one of our local parks taking photos--a new hobby that I only dreamed of doing pre-op.

The bottom line is, I went into this with the lowest of expectations and have come out with far more than I bargained for AND,  it was FREE!

you have a point with the expectation because the girls I've talked to who went through SRS who were ultimately unsatisfied about it might have been expecting one thing and since they didn't get exactly what they imagined and that may have been the cause of their complaining.

While I am very very far from even seriously thinking about SRS but the main thing I'm scared of is if I do it down the line would be possibly losing any and all sexual desire and/or feeling. Some girls ended up with unsatisfactory sexual experiences after becoming post-op and yes sex isn't everything but at this point in time I'm not sure if I would risk it but down the line who knows.

To have resolved the dissonance between my mind and my body has been absolutely worth it for parts that are as close as possible with today's techniques.  To have been rid of that pain means so, so much and I have no regrets.

Like others have said, it depends on what you expect to get out of surgery.  The common concerns seem to be over the possible loss of orgasm, lack of depth, etc.  It's surgery, there are risks, even death.  And if you search the web you're likely to hear more horror stories of surgery failures then anything else, I would venture to say that becuase people that are satisfied to thrilled with the results don't take up as much space on the internet as people who aren't.

Ask people until you're blue in the face (assuming they're willing to talk about their experiences), heck ask to see the results if they're willing to go that far with it.  The point is, see for yourself first hand what the post surgical results are like, not just what you read about on the internet.  As for the rest of it, childbirth, etc yeah there are the limitations.  But ask any cis-woman and pregnancy and childbirth is no fairytale either.

Quote from: Valeriedances on May 21, 2011, 08:12:31 AM
I am not orgasmic yet, but believe its possible.

I should have mentioned sex is about more then just an orgasm anyways... 

I don't have actual statistics to back it up, but I would imagine very few non-->-bleeped-<-s are going to be interested in an intimate (sexual) relationship with a pre- or non-op.

All I can say is that I believe that the incidence of unsatisfactory sexual outcome is rather smaller than some people seem to believe. Yes it does happen to an unlucky few, but most people, as long as they go to a decent surgeon and obey postoperative care instructions, get perfectly workable results.

I was done in an era when the surgery was far more primitive than what is offered today. Until I had a modern re-work the cosmetics of my result was far from pretty, but it never stopped me enjoying a healthy sex life. I was just thankful that I was closer to what I wanted than I had been beforehand. The same applies to my update. The cosmetics are vastly improved, as is (to my astonishment) the functionality. It is still not perfect, but it works fine.

The people who have problems fall into the following categories. 1. a very tiny minority are just unlucky. 2. A further small percentage have problems because of poor surgery or because they ignored surgeons instructions (for example by not dllating properly) 3. but by far and away the largest group are unhappy simply because, as I said in my first answer, they don't understand how to compromise with reality. Life just isn't perfect!

Needless to say I was delighted with my original result, and I remain so after the revision. Oh and whether I was lucky or not I don't know, but I was orgasmic almost from day one post surgery and I remain so to this day.

The final thing I want to say is that surgeons often do give dire warnings about numbness, loss of desire and all sorts of stuff. They have to because they need to cover themselves just in case something doe go wrong. However such things usually simply dont happen. So it would be a mistake to extrapolate from the warnings into an expectation that the results will necessarily be poor.

Quote from: regan on May 21, 2011, 08:03:39 AM
Like others have said, it depends on what you expect to get out of surgery.  The common concerns seem to be over the possible loss of orgasm, lack of depth, etc.  It's surgery, there are risks, even death.  And if you search the web you're likely to hear more horror stories of surgery failures then anything else, I would venture to say that becuase people that are satisfied to thrilled with the results don't take up as much space on the internet as people who aren't.

Ask people until you're blue in the face (assuming they're willing to talk about their experiences), heck ask to see the results if they're willing to go that far with it.  The point is, see for yourself first hand what the post surgical results are like, not just what you read about on the internet.  As for the rest of it, childbirth, etc yeah there are the limitations.  But ask any cis-woman and pregnancy and childbirth is no fairytale either.

true, people do feel more adamant to say when something went wrong and tell the horror stories where as the success stories generally go unheard of. I'm basing my thoughts on what some girls have told me that had experienced but I knowledge the possibility I just happened to run into girls who are in the same support group of women who had bad SRS. I made this thread to express my opinions and concerns and hear opinions and facts from people who have underwent SRS and after reading much of these posts I'm starting to rethink the whole thing, while I still have the same concerns I'm also remembering not everything is perfect and if I am to undergo the treatment in the future to not worry so much and take it as it is rather than expect it to be so much more only to get let down.

Quote from: Valeriedances on May 21, 2011, 08:51:45 AM
An important part to consider is how many women have regrets.

I think anyone will be very hard pressed to find post surgery regrets on this forum (where people are free to say anything).

that is what I am finding, I'm just saying from girls I have talked to I seemed to run into horror story into horror story but now I know I needed to look at a larger demographic of women.

I think anyone will be very hard pressed to find post surgery regrets on this forum (where people are free to say anything).

Well there have been a few of late.  And people who really regretted it would not last long on this board, the echo chamber effect would drown them out, I'm sure they are posting somewhere else.

I don't want to drag money into this, but "you get what you pay for" sometimes applies to even SRS. I'm aware there are skilled surgeons out there, but I firmly believe that the first attempt at a SRS can make or break it. You can't fix something that didn't go well, we only try to revise and repair it. I'm personally not happy with the current SRS options available today. I don't need to accept it the way it currently is, I can be stubborn like that... but sooner or later I'd have to go for it anyway. With that in mind, I plan to invest the best I can in my SRS so that I will not have any regrets like I let money or anything else get in my way. I want to give it the best effort that I can. Even if attempting a rather customized SRS procedure even if it costs over 120k. The more money you spend doesn't necessarily = better results, I think. At the very least it helps a surgeon give better attention.

Most bad SRS stories I've heard come form cheap or restrictive insurance funded surgeries. If you want something in life, you need to really try to get it by yourself, I believe you owe that to yourself. At least that's the philosophy I follow. Its better to settle for a high-quality designer dress that costs an arm and a leg than settle for something from the discount store. This is coming from a girl who earns only about $500/mo. sounds strange, right? but I believe I can realize my goals within the next two years. Anyone can achieve their goals if they think outside the box and put in their best effort.

But of course if they discover something better than a designer dress then I'll go for that. The truth is I would rather live a whole (wear something), than (nothing) wait around until I'm old tolerating someone who contributed to my being assigned the wrong gender. 

Quote from: Valeriedances on May 21, 2011, 08:51:45 AM
on this forum (where people are free to say anything)

Say some things here and you will be violating the TOS.

I feel that there are some women who are displeased with their surgical outcome because it was not the panacea that they thought it would be, that it would solve all of life's many issues and prolems.

Some women may have thought that having the surgery would bring Prince or Princess charming into their life. Others may feel that having a vagina would stop them from being clocked. For others they may have believed that the GCS would remove employment or other societal dicriminations.

Realistically the afore-mentioned may not be positively impacted by the surgery.

Then we have the "->-bleeped-<-s" who have a vested interest in a woman remaining pre / non op. They are often quite vocal in their opinions about a woman not having surgery. They are often joined by a most unlikely ally, the pre / non op transwoman in their smear campaign.

Together they will trot out stories of post op women being more prone to post surgical regret, suicide, depression, psychosis, etc.. On some of the trans porn sites they will post photos of barely healed neo-vaginas, and proffer them as examples of GCS results.

Bottom line, I would be inclined to pursue the direction that regan has put forth, ask many women lots of questions, see the results for yourself firsthand, and then you may be able to make a more informed decision.

Quote

Ask people until you're blue in the face (assuming they're willing to talk about their experiences), heck ask to see the results if they're willing to go that far with it. The point is, see for yourself first hand what the post surgical results are like, not just what you read about on the internet. As for the rest of it, childbirth, etc yeah there are the limitations. But ask any cis-woman and pregnancy and childbirth is no fairytale either.

The procedures now are the best, for now.  I personally will take what is out there rather than spend one more day in the the wrong form.
I have a surgeon in mind and will most likely go with him.

Quote from: girl_ashley on May 21, 2011, 12:39:16 PM
Say some things here and you will be violating the TOS.

Then just follow the TOS.  Break them and you have to deal with the consequences.

Quote from: Janet Lynn on May 21, 2011, 01:27:15 PM
Then just follow the TOS.  Break them and you have to deal with the consequences.

I most certainly didn't break them nor was I stating anything other than a fact.

Just stated a fact.

Kia Ora,

Now lets see If I wasn't born with a vagina how on earth am I going to know how a vagina would feel to me???    "Different strokes for different folks!"


Metta Zenda

I suggest to anyone if you can live without it and be happy then you probably should.  I couldn't.  So if it comes to a choice of getting dead or opting for a constructed vagina, then I'll take surgery every time.  And the thing is, as Valerie said, it IS a vagina.  I've had guys with their face in mine and not have a clue I wasn't born with it.  I have no visible external scars, and the emotional scars alone that having the surgery has healed were more than worth the pain and trouble of doing whatever it took to get it.  Simply put, it might not be perfect, but it beats staring at the inside of a coffin lid.