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On Being an SO

Started by Lisbeth, May 28, 2011, 12:49:34 PM

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Lisbeth

Someone posted in the FTM forum about resources for SOs, but I have a different SO issue. Where do you go when you're the SO of a trans-person, and you are trans yourself? There seems to be no resources for us, and it can be very lonely. Actually I shouldn't say I "am" an SO. She's moved out now, but there are no resources for ex-SOs either that I can find. I shouldn't even say "ex-SO" because she's still the most significant "other" in my life.
"Anyone who attempts to play the 'real transsexual' card should be summarily dismissed, as they are merely engaging in name calling rather than serious debate."
--Julia Serano

http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2011/09/transsexual-versus-transgender.html
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spacial

Lisbeth.

While there may not be a specific section for those in your situation, you should never forget that we all will welcome you sharing your feelings with us.
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cynthialee

As a trans person who is the spouse of anouther trans person I would totaly love such a resourse. In fact I have looked for such a resourse and I came up empty.
We are a rare breed.
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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Janet_Girl

Well I am not truly an SO, but I do have a girlfriend who is also trans.  And such a resource could prove invaluable.
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Lisbeth

Quote from: spacial on May 28, 2011, 01:36:39 PM
Lisbeth.

While there may not be a specific section for those in your situation, you should never forget that we all will welcome you sharing your feelings with us.
The biggest thing that has held me back from that in the past is that I couldn't be totally candid about my feelings in a forum where she could also read what I said.
"Anyone who attempts to play the 'real transsexual' card should be summarily dismissed, as they are merely engaging in name calling rather than serious debate."
--Julia Serano

http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2011/09/transsexual-versus-transgender.html
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spacial

Quote from: Lisbeth on May 29, 2011, 12:37:10 AM
The biggest thing that has held me back from that in the past is that I couldn't be totally candid about my feelings in a forum where she could also read what I said.

I can understand that. I'm sure that many of us have said things to others, in PMs for example, that we haven't said openly. I will say, that where I've done this has been to avoid any posible hurt to others or because the issue was not related to the subject of Susans' but I was grateful that I could share it with some people I do know from here.

I wonder of any SOs on here might be interested in participating in a sort of round robin PM, where those sending and receiving it, are all invited by each other? I know the PM system here allows for multipul recipients. It certainly wouldn't mean secretive talks, or a forum within a forum, rather just an extension of dealing with issues.

A number of SOs here are clearly quite smart, so a general PM discussion, between each of you, might be pretty productive.

Just a thought. You could start by PMing a few SOs.

You are a retired Mod and if I'm right, are still participating in the Mods group, so it's not as if you could be some sort of rebel, seeking to over throw the hierarchy as a blow for the liberty of the prolitariate.
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