Let's start off with the good news: Today I got a haircut and I passed!! They charged me the male rate
I also got a binder today, from a used binder program. Five dollars each I love Toronto! Although the binder is rather uncomfortable and my ribs hurt after i took it off, my chest... looked amazing! And no one looked at me weirdly on the street.
Normally i'd get weird looks from people kinda going 'is that a guy or a girl' because all i had was a sports bra and it wasnt the flattest =\
But with the binder (as weird as this is going to sound) NO ONE LOOKED AT ME AT ALL!!! I was just another guy, unremarkable, probably assumed to be some skate thug

Also I want to come out to my fam soon... but I tried once to come out to my mom but she basically blew it off. And once before there were some trans women on tv and she was like "They're still men" And i said no they aren't mom!! they're women! and she said "they arent women until they get a vagina" or something to that effect. What can I do to make her understand?!

Sounds like a great day!  Good for you!

First off, nice on the passing. I can't wait to get my binder and go out to experience that.

As for your mother, well, that's a heavy and potentially very difficult topic. You can't just change someone's opinion, particularly on LGBT matters - people are generally set in their ways. You never know, she could do a complete U-turn and support you, she might not take it seriously, she might cut you off. I think your best bet is to wait for a time that feels right, and calmly bring it up. Listen to her objections and fears, tell her your thoughts, but don't have it turn into a 'who's right?' discussion.

Quote from: Jude on May 31, 2011, 11:17:30 PM
Also I want to come out to my fam soon... but I tried once to come out to my mom but she basically blew it off. And once before there were some trans women on tv and she was like "They're still men" And i said no they aren't mom!! they're women! and she said "they arent women until they get a vagina" or something to that effect. What can I do to make her understand?!

I have this problem with my mother. I was watching a Chaz Bono interveiw a few days after the documentary aired and I had to watch it in the living room where her and my brother were. Towards the end she was like "It doesn't matter what she changes Chaz will still always be a girl." And I started to argue it out with her, but I know there will not be any making my mom understand. She might be able to live with a lesbian daughter (She has asked me several times now if I am), but having a gay son isn't going to fly.

Congrats on your passing though. It sounds like an awesome day. I can't wait until I get to that point.

Yeah, that's the first thing I noticed when I started purposely presenting myself as male in public. (I say purposely because I've been dressing in all men's clothes & keeping my hair buzzed short for a little over 15 years, and the difference now is realizing that I've always been male on the inside.) And it was a huge change at first, in how other people reacted to me. When I was just the fat ugly girl with a shaved head, I got horrible, mean, nasty looks from everyone, if not rude comments and harassment. But now that I'm all guy (except for the large chest, which plenty of people actually overlook when all other signals are male), I'm just another guy in the crowd, nothing to get fussed over. And it's great!!

that great!  woohoo

Awesome, I'm so jealous! I never pass when getting a haircut >< That must have felt great. Cool about the binder too! I'm glad that you passed/ your chest looked good! I think most binders hurt your ribs. Mine whenever I stopped wearing it, then had to get used to it again, my muscles inside of my chest were sore from the increased strain to open the rib cage and breathe.

I totally understand your sport's bra plight. I had similar problems for a very long time. Coming out to your family can be a piece of cake, or super hard. It's difficult to know what you can expect, so I wish you the best of luck. My mom's side reacted well, and my dad's side reacted awful. He had similar feelings about trans people, same with his wife. Some people have a real issue understanding. I have a friend who is the same way: she wont even call me by my chosen name unless I get bottom surgery @.@ Sometimes it's easier just to let them be ignorant.

@ Rob: Thanks man

@ malinkibear: that's a good idea. a 'who's right' discussion is generally confrontational so it's probably best to stay as neutral as possible.

@ Keiran: Yeah that's basically what my mom said, pissed me right off And thank you

@ sascraps: It's an amazing feeling isn't it? So surreal at first

@ rex: thanks bud!

@ James-Allen: the muscles inside your chest being sore afterwards makes total sense! it's like weight lifting for your ribs and that's so rough about your friend. how can you deal with that?

Hey,

First of all, that is great to hear! I remember the early days of first passing and it just fills you with such a great feeling! And when I first got my binder, it was great to see the work it did (Despite the discomfort that I hate! :/ The years takes its toll on you but Im still grateful for the effect they have).

Its funny because at the beginning of my transition I was seen as a little skater guy too :p

As with your Mum, I can imagine how you may be feeling very worried. I remember before I told my family, something came on tv about a transwoman and my step Dad commented saying theyre all freaks. But that was a very uneducated and ignorant remark. He had never encountered an mtf or ftm and understood what they go through, that it is not just some whim or rash freak decision. When I told him about me, he was extremely supportive, more so than my blood related family. So you may be surprised.
Telling my Mum was very hard, we are so close. I found that it helped to let her know I wanted to tell her something, and then write a letter and give it to her. Some people say that isnt good, or its the cowards way, but I think it is a pretty suitable way. You can get all of your feelings and explainations written down, with no interruptions. They have time to read, digest and take it all in and think of how they feel and how to respond. Sometimes people need to time get over their irrational initial feelings and process everything.

I hope everything goes well for you and that you get even more passing experiences!

Congratulations man! I myself am still using ace bandages lol But I am so happy for you. It takes time and a bit of practice, but it sound slike you're o doing great. As far as coming out to your family, each family is unique. Take your time and if you think the response will be negative, start by droping hints and finding out what they think of TG people, etc. but be stealthy about it.

@ Make it good: being a little skater guy isn't a bad thing to be eh? i really am little too haha. thanks for your kind words. i ended just having a conversation with my mom and it pretty well

@Honest reflections: don't ace bandages really hurt? xD

@Sambreroyo: that's pretty rough =\ it sucks when people rile you up like that

Yes they do but I can't afford a binder or anything. Recently while dinding something ewnt wrong and I almost got the crap beat out of me. But it's all I have to work with. You gotta do what you gotta do