I know that I have been part of some intense debates around here lately and I do not have any shame for that.

However....
It seems that no matter the tact I take or the tone of my post someone is really pissed at me.
I understand I have some controversial opinions but I have tried very hard to not be a jerk. Granted I have not done the best job of being civil but I have tried.

Any thing I say has become the target of certain parties who have taken a serious disliking to me. These ongoing bitchfests have cost this site a couple mods and some solid members.
Although I am loathe to walk away from a debate I can not be the reason why someone I love and respect to walks away.

So.....
I am not responding to anything that isn't directly related to transition for now. I am avoiding the political topics although I am loathe to do so. I would like to express my opinions but not at the cost of friends.

Hugz and luv,
Cynthia Lee

If it means anything I can say, without any reservations, that I enjoy reading your posts, I look forward to seeing you here and will look forward to calling you dear friend, if we ever meet.

I do believe that Susans' will be a poorer place without you.

Hugs right back at you!

No matter where you go, there will always be bitchfests.  I'd be leaving if there wasn't debate here, but that's just me.  Personally, I'd hate for everyone to agree with me all the time, it would be insanely boring. 

Quote from: regan on June 02, 2011, 11:56:08 AM
.  Personally, I'd hate for everyone to agree with me all the time, it would be insanely boring. 

<Spacial nods in agreement, increasingly aware of the irony> 

One thing is certain-We will never agree with everybody. I try to avoid discussions about politics for this reason.  I for one appreciate your wit & candor and enjoy your posts-at least most of the time. Hang in there girl-All things must pass-and we need you here.

Randi

I've always really appreciated reading your posts, I found them to be constructive and interesting. I like that you don't back down defending non-binary identities, for instance, which isn't always easy here unfortunately. It's one of the reasons why I have to supplement my time here with more genderqueer-inclusive forums such as http://www.whatisgender.net/phpBB3/index.php, even though Susan's by far has higher traffic and funding.

But I know what you mean about some of the debates lately :/ I am a very opinionated person, and I love discussing politics, but I don't think I will here anymore, either, because I don't want to be the reason anybody leaves. I never intended to alienate anyone, and from the tone and content of your recent posts that I've seen, I know you didn't either.

I think the whole situation is unfortunate. If A holds the opinion that we should alienate genderqueer people, and B disagrees, A feels alienated by B. I never wanted to cause problems in our community, I just wanted to be inclusive of ALL of our community 

People come and go, that is the nature of things. 

I doubt that either of you are responsible for someone deciding to leave, no one person or post makes people leave.  They leave because things come up in life, or they are tired and stressed out.

We deal with stressful and important issues here and people tend to defend  their views with Passion.

Passion doesn't always mean we are right, it is just our view of things.  Politics and Religion are always sensitive issues and will cause hard feelings, again that is the nature of life.

It can be very stressful being Staff, we have to decide when its time to step in and lock threads, because we feel debates have gone overboard.  We make that decision (often with the support of other staff), but it is seldom accepted with understanding from those who have been posting in those threads.  But it is the job we have accepted and try to do with fairness and equality.

We always hope members and Staff who decide to leave will come back.  That all that is needed is some space and time to rejuvinated themselves.

Sarah L.

Kia Ora,

"Change the way one looks at things and the things one looks at change!" 

Topics themselves are not controversial !

But at times we can all  "make a mountain out of a simple mole hill"

Metta Zenda

Sarah,
I have been straight out told by a couple folks in other venues that I was one of the main reasons they left Susans.

As a "member" of Susans, I might disagree with what others say (strongly disagree), but I'm not going to run off and hide because of it.

There are too many other threads to read and get good information and enjoyment from.

Maybe your just the "excuse," not the reason.

Again people leave, its unfortunate, but its life.

I have also been told I am the reason people have left/thought about leaving.

Valerie, I really don't want to be a jerk, or make things unnecessarily uncomfortable; I have no negative feelings towards you, and nothing but respect.  But on a thread a few days ago you quoted a post of mine directly and said that my differing opinion was hurtful and that you were going to leave because of it. I'm very glad you didn't leave, but it did happen over our differing opinions, and you made this known to me personally. Others have posted similar comments in the past few days, but that was the only instance I was directly quoted and named as the cause. I think that is really unfortunate, as I thought I've been civil and respectful. If I haven't, I want to apologize and correct myself in the future.

I wish our community as a whole could have discussion and debate without hurt feelings, but if that is not the case I just won't comment in that context anymore because it's not worth it to me. I don't want anyone to leave over different opinions, their input and presence would be greatly missed. 

The old adage "Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you" is so UnTrue/False/Misleading, outright Lie.

Words can be very hurtful and damaging.  We do need to be careful in how we use them.

Quote from: cynthialee on June 02, 2011, 03:43:53 PM
Sarah,
I have been straight out told by a couple folks in other venues that I was one of the main reasons they left Susans.

That sounds like a rather childish dig by someone who doesn't know how to discuss or the enormous value to be found in disagreement.

With respect cynthia, you are intelegent and mature enough to rise above that. Though I can fully sympathise with how it must have made you feel at the time.

And Mikah. I noticed you have been avoiding some types of discussions. I do hope you'll reconsider. You are fun to discuss things with.

Quote from: cynthialee on June 02, 2011, 10:37:06 AM
I know that I have been part of some intense debates around here lately and I do not have any shame for that.

However....
It seems that no matter the tact I take or the tone of my post someone is really pissed at me.
I understand I have some controversial opinions but I have tried very hard to not be a jerk. Granted I have not done the best job of being civil but I have tried.

Any thing I say has become the target of certain parties who have taken a serious disliking to me. These ongoing bitchfests have cost this site a couple mods and some solid members.
Although I am loathe to walk away from a debate I can not be the reason why someone I love and respect to walks away.

So.....
I am not responding to anything that isn't directly related to transition for now. I am avoiding the political topics although I am loathe to do so. I would like to express my opinions but not at the cost of friends.

Hugz and luv,
Cynthia Lee

I hope Susan is reading this thread because you are bot alone, just like in real life here too people need to get a grip of themselves. I was recently in thread that it was a little bit racy but it was girls talking. Then suddenly, it was racist accusation, and fur flung all over, then thread lock. I  was going to delete my account but I thought wherever I go there will be this BS. Current politically correct western society is generating a bunch of hysterical overreacting bitches. At least here I know who is who in the zoo, so I decided to stay and draw more ire on me.