Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Forcing Boys To Perform Masculinity
Posted by Monica Roberts at 12:00 AM

TransGriot Note:  Another post from Renee, the distinguished editor of Womanist Musings

http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2011/06/forcing-boys-to-perform-masculinity.html

I love to paint my nails.  Right now they are an awesome lime green.  Every time I pull out my nail polish, Mayhem stares at my hands and asks me if he can touch them when they are dry. One day he finally built up the courage to ask if I would paint his nails too.  Of course I had no problem with that, and I let him pick the colour he wanted.  The unhusband received praise from our friends for allowing his son to walk around with painted nails.  This irritated me to no end, but I took it in stride. Is it any wonder that kids learn that certain things are for girls when fathers are complemented for allowing their sons to explore?

When Monday rolled around, Mayhem asked that I remove his nail polish, because he didn't want to be laughed at, at school.  He told me that a lot of people think that nail polish is for girls, and because he is a boy, that they would laugh at him.  My heart broke for him, but I took the nail polish off as he requested.

While there is no doubt nature plays a big role in the personal preferences (likes and dislikes) of boys and girls, there is also no doubt social conditioning does too.  And it seems that which is socially acceptable has a lot to do with conditioning.  Kind of like, "This is the way I raised my boy.  You should do the same.  Then my boy will know I raised him right!" 

Ego.