(I'm sorry but i don't know where in can put my question)

Hello,

I am "daddy" to two boys aged 5 and 4 years. I'm afraid to make my transition in particular psychology. To see a father become a woman. I am looking for testimonials from people in the same case than me, daddy young children.

I wonder how it happened your relationship with your ex-wife?

Thank you in advance,

Coralie

maybe you should seek a gid therapist for this. Patience is key to almost everything. You will find yourself shocked that everything turned in ur favor..

Hello,

Thanks for your answer Marcellahearts.

I forgot to mention that my wife is so against against the wearing of women's clothing.

In the case of an MTF, there will be a divorce and wants to forbid me to see my children except in France, it is not possible to prohibit this.

Do you consider no longer see your children in order not to destabilize the future in their lives as adults.

Best regards,

Laure

Seeing a therapist will help you to deal with your own feelings.  It might even help to have your wife attend one or two meeting so she can get her questions answered.

In the end it will be your decision on what is best for you, for now and for long term.

I made the decision to finish raising my kids, then transition.

Hi Coralie,
 
   I'm 40 years old; I transitioned having two young children. My daughter is now 7, my son is 5. The fact is that, if you're going to transition, the younger
your children are, the better. Trans parents have the most difficulty as their children get older, especially in their teens. Don't let anyone tell you
differently!

   I'm not sure how things are done in France, but here in the US, the only way I could be prevented from seeing my children would be by court order and
even then it would have to be proven that I was a threat to my kids. Your wife has to be made aware that this is not simply an issue of your wearing
women's clothes but the possibly life-threatening effects from leaving your GID untreated. I would first schedule a session for both of you to see a doctor
or therapist so all this could be explained to her. My wife eventually learned how important my transition was and we've since become good friends.

  Now, I have a wonderful relationship with my children and I see them often, usually for weekends and some sleepovers during the week. It's a potentially
sensitive subject that has to be treated very carefully; both of your children would have to start seeing a therapist as soon as you began to change your appearance.
The final decision, for me, was this: Should I continue to try and continue to live in depression and feeling suicidal and try to be an effective father OR should I transition
and be happy, and a more effective parent as a second mom? I am SO GLAD that I chose transition; I don't think I would be alive today if I hadn't.

  Even now, as I sit here in Thailand after SRS, I get up early so I can camchat with my kids... They love me still... and I'm convinced I'm a better person and a
better parent now that I've transitioned.

I hope this helps...

Our situations are so similar!   You can contact me here if you'd like to chat more personally :-)

Jessica R
Rhode Island, USA

I agree with JessicaR. The younger the children, the least affected they are by the news. I say go for it!

And for problems regarding your wife, I don't reckon you can be absolutely prevented from seeing your children. If you divorce, you will have to fight, of course, but
unless your wife can prove that you are unable to take care of the children well (and being trans should not suffice for this, unless the court's people
are discriminatory, in which case you would have a valid motive for appeal), you will probably have the right to see them as much as her (shared). Though you will have
to work, because traditionally, the mother is the one who gets the children.

In any case, unless you are an alcoholic or something big like this, the real basic thing they cannot strip you of, if your country works anything like Canada, is
one week-end every two weeks.

PS: Je vois que tu as du mal avec l'anglais. Je parle français. Tu peux me MP si tu veux.

What everyone else is saying, seeing a therapist about this is the best course of action.

I have three children. My children are 9, 6, and 2. So far they have been adapting to my changes quite well. However, divorce was def there. My ex left me over something that was totally unrelated to trans issues. To be honest, she had no idea had transitioned until I ran into her at the custody hearings. My brother got a laugh that day!

But my children handled it quite well. They cross cross the terms of daddy and mommy a lot with me when they do write but I can def deal with that

I waityed becaouse of the wife preassure, then she left us anyway. As they grow older the trnasdition issue coem up. It turns out that all my fear wer, weel, mine alone. The kids just  love me. I sort already transdtionas I presnt pretty much fem, make up, perfum, nailsl, hair, etc. My two girls and my 3 boys are pretty close to me. I dispens advice both as dad as well as mom. BTW I got card both in dad and momo days.

There has been painful days along the way thought, like when thye were teased in the school or by the neighborhood kids, but most it has been "->-bleeped-<-s and giggles"

Kate D

Thank you all for your responses. It is difficult to make that decision even if I made ​​indirectly. It would have been easier to make that choice when I was 18 but hey.

Thank you for your answers.

Laure

I have four kids.  Ages 10, 8, 6, and 2.  They will grow up with tolerance of all people regardless of gender/sexuality.  They, and their generation will be better in that regard than those previous.  It is not without some pitfalls, and trials with them getting to the acceptance, but it does come.  Yours (and mine too) are young enough that before long they will hardly remember it any different if you transition.  Your wife is in for a harsh reality, if she thinks that any medically/psychologically necessary treatment, that helps you become a better person for you and those around you, will limit your access to your kids.  There are too many kids without loving parents, and no judge will make more; outside of very dire circumstances.  Best of luck to you.  And, I too will be around if you need advice, support, or just a sounding board.

Hello,

JessicaR and Annah, Have you receive my email from coralie-lefebvre@hotmail.fr?

Best Regards,

Coralie

Coralie,

   Yes, I received it...   sent a response this evening. Sorry if it was kindof long but you really got me thinking, LOL..

Jessica

Hi,
When I transitioned my daughters were 13 & 11, and my sons were 9 & 6. My sons did much better with things than my daughters. Everyone's situation is different, of course.
Kim

My son was eight when I started my transition and he handed in beautifully. I think letting the kids know about this before they reach
puberty and have their own issues is best. they adjust more quickly. (I am not a therapist though.)
My ex hated the fact I transitioned and has accused me repeatedly of "stealing the mother's role" whatever that means. But then again
she hates me for half a dozen things I did or did not do, so I guess that's not that big of a deal.