okay, so i have an appointment scheduled for friday. however, i'm in the military and have to go through a military psychotherapist. my only other option hasn't been responding, and i don't speak the local language.

from speaking with friends, and the office itself, they've stated they keep everything confidential unless i say who i'd like to know. others have told me that it's best to keep my thoughts secret until i leave. that won't be too good for me as i'd have to wait two and a half more years. i've kept it secret for a long time already, and i thought i could for longer, but i'm realizing that i just won't be able to. today was too stressful for me, and i had a really difficult time just getting my work done. i've never been this stressed out before. i'm pretty much out in an island, far away from family, far from friends, and far from any other options i could have for any real one-on-one conversations.

my concerns are this; in order to speak with the therapist, i must go through a screening with an nco first. should i tell them i'm having a lot of anxiety and go through bouts of depression? or should i tell them the full story? should i cancel this appointment and just wait? even though the government is going through the process of removing DADT, i'm still quite paranoid that they would kick me out. i've won a ton of awards, and my work has always been highly praised. however, the military is doing a lot of lay-offs and i don't want to give them a reason to rid of me.

this has been stressing me out all day. i'm sure there's also other reasons for me being stressed, but this is definitely the biggest part.

has anybody else experienced this sort of tension before going to speak to a therapist? i feel impatient, anxious, confused, scared, paranoid, and excited all at the same time.

Would there be repercussions if you told the nco you were having anxiety/depression issues and then gave the therapist the full story?  The therapist is ethically bound to say nothing to anyone unless you pose a danger to yourself or others, or admit to committing a sex crime or murder (I think any felony charge falls into to this category, but my knowledge of therapy ethics is a bit shaky this morning).

What I don't know is how this works in the military.  Are there special requirements that a military therapist must report anything that skirts military rules, including DADT?  I really don't know.  But if they operate under the same confidentiality and ethics rules as non-military therapists, then you could most definitely withhold information from the nco and then bring up everything with the therapist.  Gender issues aren't a circumstance for which a therapist must break confidentiality, and would be unethical for them to do so.


Again... please don't take that as any legal advice, because I honestly don't know how it works in the military.

Hi Madirocks,

First, are you willing to get discharged, possible dishonorable?.  Not know where you are from but that can be a possibility.
second, How important is your service to you?  If you feel the need to serve, maybe just go through with the anxiety and depression.

Personally if you can not deal one more day without doing something, go to your appointment.  They are still bound by their oath.

Sorry I can not be of anymore help, and may have set you into a tailspin( not my intention, I assure you ).  I was scared when I first went to my therapist, who is not only a gender therapist but FtM.  However, he was great and now I am living the life I thought I would never have.

thanks. and, after doing more research now, i see that dadt doesn't involve transsexualism at all. in fact, apparently those with it are considered "unfit for service," and will remain to be considered so until they write another policy. so yeah, i would be discharged administratively as "other than honorable."

so much for that. 

Hey make sure you put in 180 days to get medical and benefits you deserve it.   Then share to your hearts content but tell them you didn't feel that way when you joined or they might try to disqualify you..  oh do you want to stay?? If you do just talk to us .. no sense messing things up like a college education etc etc etc..

Quote from: M2MtF2FtM on June 22, 2011, 12:06:27 PM
Hey make sure you put in 180 days to get medical and benefits you deserve it.   Then share to your hearts content but tell them you didn't feel that way when you joined or they might try to disqualify you..  oh do you want to stay?? If you do just talk to us .. no sense messing things up like a college education etc etc etc..

i only want to stay until soft estimated out of service date, which is within the beginning of next year. and, if i do end up getting kicked out, i have nowhere else to go... literally. that's what i'm thinking about more than just the college benefits. i can get a fantastic job without getting the last few credits. but, living overseas puts a damper on a lot, especially in a country with such a bad economy. 

Well, with help, we have found a therapist... who's eight hours away. 

I'm definitely alone on this one. I just wish there was someone to talk to whom I don't have to worry about being myself. My coworkers are taking even more notice. It's getting more difficult to hide. I could use some positive feedback.

Unfortunately ts/tg is not covered under DADT. They consider it an untreatable condition with high risk of serious depression and anxiety (which it is). So if found out, the person is considered unfit for service and "let go" under "other than honourable." Rubbish IMO, but can understand the reasoning. Maybe eventually they'll update that policy as well, but it's likely not going to happen soon.

Edit; I've spoken with my boss and I'm getting out early next year.