Actually, what I meant to say is that I didn't expect to be in an andogynous position. I don't see myself wishing to be androgynous but ended up for the time being because of my inner conflict about my gender identity. I've wanted to transition to be a woman for some time but have conflicts with parts of me, like the one that values social and family acceptance, and the ego part of me that values power and security. My desire to transition is still strong, but because of these parts of me, I've been forced to settle for the time being on an "in between" state, that I don't identify as male and see myself as "divorced" from the male gender, yet I'm not quite female in that I still have to preserve my old persona (in order to "act acceptably" and get around the world without a problem) and I won't be able to see myself until I get hormone treatment (to unleash my highly suppressed inner femininity / womanliness.)
In the meanwhile, I'm in this androgynous state in looks (long hair, soft face, shaped eyebrows, a not so masculine body) and in mind (with some of my old masculine persona traits and feel but otherwise identifying more with women, and I still wish to have a female body.) And in being in this state, I'm starting to not understand both men and women in terms of sex and attraction and roles. I mean, I'm starting to not understand a need for being with someone "of the opposite sex" or being with someone in large part because of their gender. I'm starting to not like the idea of being a woman with a man just like a man being with a woman. I feel more like I want to be with someone because I'm attracted to them as a person, not because of their gender. I feel like this "gender limitation" should be taken out. I also am starting to think that both genders should have "looks and behavior limitations" taken out, and obviously the male gender much more than the female gender. Females in general should be ok with being more assertive and even bold and males shouldn't have to maintain a significant (and imprisoning) ego.) Both genders are unnecessarily limiting life's richness and experiences by being in their own gender boxes.
Even though I'm in this state of being androgynous temporarily, I've been seeing more things and have started to see outside of both gender boxes. Now, I still desire to be female because I still enjoy and feel strongly deep on the inside about having a female gender identification, but I obviously wouldn't be on board with all of the traditional things that are in the female role. Luckily, so aren't many other women, and they are still women regardless.
