Quote from: Annah on June 26, 2011, 01:40:40 PM
Exactly. It is about moving forward 
To be T in LGBT is not a naughty word. I am somewhat in your boat with this. I only see good things having the T in LGBT because it promotes unity in spite of persecution.
We had a Sexuality class in my Graduate school last semester and a good portion was concerning transgender studies. Studies had shown (based on trans surveys and interviews) the following (which I found to be very interesting):
Around 80% of trans people have no issues with the LGBT spectrum
The majority of trans people who who do not want the T in LGBT are Male to Female Lesbians
The majority of trans people who are fine with the LGBT spectrum are Female to Male (all sexual identities and orientations)
The most passionate trans people who voice an opposition on transgender labels (such us "transgender vs transexual" etc etc) are Male to Female trans
Female to Male trans people, for the most part in the survey, really was not bothered by the labels.
The Majority of trans people who felt they were threatened or taken advantage of by the LGB were Male to Female Trans
Of those Male to Female Trans, it was inconclusive which sexual orientation felt threatened by the LGB.
I did a similiar survey on my facebook and my blog and the result were darn near identical.
Annah, I can tell you why this is.
Trans women are often mistaken for gay men. Trans men may be mistaken for lesbians.
In modern American culture, lesbians are not fully accepted or understood - lesbian sex isn't seen as "real sex," lesbians are seen as "just needing a real man" (or cruder formulations) to straighten them back out. However, lesbians are not seen as threatening or icky. Most people are not grossed out by imagining lesbian sex; most straight men are turned on by it. Being seen as a lesbian isn't scary unless you're attracted to men, and even then it doesn't really trigger any deep-seated horror, just a mild fear of invisibility and unattractiveness.
Gay men, on the other hand, are still objects of hate and disgust and fear. People are alternately threatened and revolted by us. The negative stereotypes surrounding gay men include effeminacy, of course, but also a whole lot of other horrible things like that we're filthy sex-addicted drug-abusing serial-rapist ->-bleeped-<--eating disease factories. We're not any of those things, and most people who aren't consciously extreme bigots will intellectually acknowledge that we're not any of those things, but emotionally, those associations are damn near impossible to break. A lot of the mental and physical health issues in the gay male community can be traced back to the fact that we can't even get rid of those associations for ourselves; we have internalized deep feelings of shame and worthlessness and we act them out in dangerous ways.
And a trans woman, especially if she's feminine from the beginning, spends much of her life fighting off accusations (internal and external) that she's a gay man. This is even more true if she's a lesbian. "I'm not gay!" she screams. And she throws herself into hypermasculine presentation and behaviour trying to prove her not-gayness. And then eventually it all becomes too much and she comes out, only to find that she's now thrust in a political coalition with...gay men. "I'm not gay!" she screams again. "I'm not transgender! I'm not a drag queen! I'm not anything like them! I'm transsexual...I'm just a woman."
And she's right. She's just a woman. What she doesn't realize is that the pain and discrimination she's felt all her life, from when she was young and taunted for being gay to when she came out and was once again taunted or threatened or even murdered for being gay, isn't
just because she's mistaken for a gay man. It's because she's mistaken for a gay man
and people hate, fear, and loathe gay men. But she doesn't realize this - she thinks it's natural to be viscerally terrified of being mistaken for a gay man, because inside, despite her intellectual belief in GLB equality, she still remembers those messages society sent her about gay men. And when she screams "I'm normal, I'm just a woman," she's really screaming "I'm not one of those weird hypersexual drag-wearing dirty disease-ridden homos!" It's the same thing the assimilationist "straight-acting" gay men are trying to say. Some damn near say it outright in their blog posts, while others have a more coded way of putting it, but the message is the same.
It doesn't work, though. People aren't going to believe you, as long as you're insisting that you're a member of a group with higher social privilege than the one they've mentally put you in. The fact of trans women being mistaken for gay men isn't going to just go away, whether or not the political coalition is dissolved, because the fact is that as children trans girls and gay cis boys are nearly indistinguishable, and as adults you're both still people born in male bodies who do some things that are assigned as "womanly." That's not the fault of the political coalition. As long as gay men are hated, trans women who disclose will be in danger, because you're getting the secondary effects of hate directed toward another group - and bigots don't believe people who insist on a higher level of privilege than the bigot wants to assign to them.
What the coalition can do - what it needs to do, and the reason it needs to exist - is to make every colour in the GLBT rainbow socially acceptable. Trans women wn't have to live in fear of being murdered when and only when gay men don't have to live in fear of being murdered. That's a simple fact. And then, when we're all about equally acceptable, it's not going to be such a big deal to correct people who make the wrong assumption. Just as a gay trans man now, like myself, can fairly comfortably say "I'm not a lesbian, I'm a gay man," a trans woman in a world where gay men weren't hated would be able to say "I'm not a gay man, I'm a woman." And people would believe you. And you would be safe.