I am a biological female and am 10 weeks pregnant. My spouse is just know dealing with the fact he wants to fully transition. Pretty much two weeks before we found out I was pregnant he knew he wanted to be a girl. Now what I am about to say is totally crazy, but with the social implications we together are about to face will cause our lives financially to not be stable for a while with that being sad "she" has alot of pressure on her and she is becoming very depressed and scared about her job and other things that can support a family. she is the bread winner of our family and HATES her construction job. We are both crumbling really really bad, we can barely make face at work due to the financial instability we are facing and the fact we are pregnant. JUST HORRIBLE TIMING RIGHT NOW and she is totally not ready to tackle being a mom at this point. We ordered a sperm kit so we can have a "second" chance BUT to whom responds I am not looking for someone to convince me to keep the baby, my spouses' will being is more important right now and TRUST ME I am HATING every part of the timing of this pregnancy. I wish it would have happened later....She is too. She LOVES me unconditionally and is not an evil person AT ALL!!!! We are both dreading this BUT will have a second chance later She promised me that She will never hurt me again and I believe her.. We are both in tremendous amounts of pain right now and have been seeing a therapist.

Take care pluto

It is far from my place to judge, so I will simply offer you tons of hugs. Know that you are in my thoughts and I am here if you need me.

This breaks my heart too.  I'd like to ask a few questions if it isn't too painful to answer them.

Did you already know about to your spouse's gender issues?
Were they already talking to you about the potential for transition?
Were you both trying to get pregnant or did it happen accidentally?

Dearest Pluto,

My hart so goes to you. I delayed transtioning so as to have kids. I have 3 boy and 2 gilrs, all teens now. They are Ok with my transgender. However my partner early support change to tolerance, to dislike, to hate. She left us. I was never 'mom' to my kids, I am and will always be their dad, and I love that fact.

Right now I would very repectfully would like to remind you and you spause that the baby well being come first. Do what you have to do for you and your baby. How you feel will not change.

Love,

Kate D

Thank you everyone for your kind words!! I will get thru this..

@ IA, Yes I knew "she" wanted to transition, I was fine with that, we were trying to get pregnant, BUT "she" soon realized how having a baby right now would hurt us due to the financial aspects that lie ahead, like, she might loose her job and/or have a hard time finding another one due to her being transgender, she needs to work on HER life in order to provide for a baby, we just received the sperm kit today and found that the company is one of the resources on transgendered websites and FDA approved, and she assures me later on we can try again!!   I want to know what it feels like to have a child and get so happy when I think of her and I raising one later on. By the way, I am 28 yrs old and she is 33 years old, so we have time still...

I am not posting to convince you one way or another  on how to handle your pregnancy. I just want to share my perspective because I have had two very inconvenient pregnancies (and one that was planned), and now have three delightful children. My first daughter was conceived right as my first marriage started to crumble. I was not ready for parenthood, and he for sure was not, but decided to go ahead with the pregnancyWhen she was 1 I left him and upon sowing my wild oats immediately conceived my 2nd daughter with a man I barely knew and was not happy with at all. I was single, broke, and terrified, but somehow I never went under. The universe always provided. Now I am married, happy, and gained a great stepson along the way as well.  Both my daughters dads are also fantastic fathers. My partner and I will never be rich money wise (in fact we are borderline poor), but we are the wealthiest people in the world in terms of love and happiness. I am a big believer that things happen when they do for a reason. you and your spouse ultimately need to make the decision, but just wanted to give you some hope that there is more than one option. You two just follow your instincts and do whats right for you. Hugs and best wishes no matter what you decide:)