Well, the first major change in my life was getting a Rhinoplasty. At age 17, I had the procedure done to correct a nose that was truly very alike to a cleft-lip nose (wide, flared) and caused me to have an extremely goofy, clownish look that made it impossible for me to have confidence in any sort of role or gender. I was considered one of the goofiest looking kids in the school, I was always the person that the "cool guys" either picked on or felt extreme pity for, and I never had any friends. I also had horrible acne, fluffy hair, and extreme oil production at the time too, so from all around, I was just plain out ugly.
So I opted for the nasal procedure because I wanted a natural result that wasn't that much different, just something giving my face the refined, confident look that is normal among young men and women of all personalities and backgrounds. Little did I know just what a monster the surgeon I chose was, but for some months after the procedure, the result looked wonderful and suddenly, my social status changed almost overnight. People suddenly "perceived" me as confident, cool, trendy, smart, popular, attractive, and sexy, even though I truly acted no different in mannerism or confidence because I refused to change my personality, I already liked who was on the inside before the procedure, and the surgery was just to give my personality a better face - best of all, no one knew I had the work done.
What was even best is that the result was androgynous - I could pull off very swagger-ish, modern male looks (Justin Bieber-ish) or alternatively I felt very right for a girl role too, and it was just weeks until I started dressing more female in general tone (soft clothing and hairstyles, "emo"-ish styles, things that at least began to reflect a soft nature). I was extraordinarily happy, and for the very first time, I had a boy that was attracted to me and I had sex with him twice; quite a few people hit on me during this period as well, it was heaven on earth, and I looked really natural and "me".
However, after a few months, the swelling of the result went down quite a bit, and revealed that I had multiple severe surgical deformities documented profoundly in the Rhinoplasty field, and my result was collapsing and pinching rapidly. Before long, the result looked very scar-tissue filled and odd, and to make matters worse, I was involved in a car accident that traumatized and fractured the result even further. After all this, I looked as though I was again a smushed-faced caveman who got into a fight. It completely destroyed my transitioning process and the confidence I was gaining in both of my gender roles.
After that, I had a nasal reconstruction which was supposed to restore things to a youthful, natural nasal appearance, but the result turned out even worse than the effect of the car accident, and now my nose looks extremely grafty and rounded, very Acromegaloid in appearance - a specialist I saw in the field recently proclaimed "Wow, what in the world did your last surgeon put in your nose?" My nasal width is the equivalent in perception to Jocelyn "Cat Woman" Wildenstein's face - very fat, bloated, and sickly. To make matters worse, over the past 4 years and since the time I was able to experience the heaven of a normal teenager's life for just a few short months, I've now developed what points to Acromegaly, a disease that causes extreme and rapid overgrowth of the bones in the face, such as the brow bone, jaw, cheeks, and chin. My life is now a living hell because I look so extremely different than the attractive teenager I looked like only a few years ago, and I have no clue what I did to deserve this.
When I was happy with my appearance, I actually treated everyone around me better than when I hated myself. Popularity and admiration were very healthy things for me, and quite frankly, I'm at the age now that people around me still are not mature enough to see the inside of me, and won't for a very long time - I do have an extremely Acromegaloid-ish face and it's something that my generation finds very "scary" and "serial-killer looking", much less something "female", which is truly who I am. If none of these things happened, I would have been the happiest person on earth. I'm probably one of the few teenagers who has to suffer through this much trauma and medical health issues that just aren't my fault - most teenagers cause their own problems, getting put in jail for weed or such. But not me, biology causes my problems.
