At 7:30 PST Tonight my first blog post ever goes on line here,
http://transmogrofied.blogspot.com/ , my Dad will be right beside me as he reads this,
)liquid gender flows across a binary system,
Turning gray with flecks of purple.
A spark strikes and the liquid begins to burn,
To Tan,
To Take form.
It grows,
flattens,
and shapes itself
through tension show shape from pictures of humanity.
The liquid stands.
It moves through time and space,
Looking for contentment
But finding nothing of close experience.
It looks upon the inner and senses something wrong.
It is miss shaped,
Unfinished,
Unborn.
through the skin it feels imbalance,
An irritation in it's internal liquid,
that shifted a portion of shape wrong,
that created it imperfect.
Now it must fix.
Recently a question has seemed to pop up an alarming number of times, the reason for it stem in many different directions but it culminates in to a singular point; am I gay? The answer itself is a bit complicated. In a simple stage, yes. In a longer fashion, I'm Transgendered. Specifically I'm Transexual.
pressure from the back of my brain
the need, the want, to change what I became.
a body, it takes the mind in constant pain
the wrong shape for the one inside
not one more second to subside
or else I'll go insane.
This means that, at some point during fetal development most likely, hormones created an inconsistency within my brain that makes my self image female(AKA:Gender Identity). I'll admit, having your body feel out of whack for as you can remember is slightly frustrating, if a little infuriating.
never thought.
it would happen to me.
kept a dot.
for what I've seen.
thought the body was normal.
guess I was wrong.
This realization is neither hasty nor irrational. Just under a twice over decade have these thoughts buzzed around my brain, the last two years of introspection have been dedicated to research. I've been to support groups, ruined my Google quick search with transgender issues, and listened to many a LGBT podcast. I've been to a therapist who specializes with gender issues
When's a dnd group not a dnd group?
when it's a support group.
This is a hard thing to deal with, for everyone. I realize there are a few people I'm going to lose from this but for anyone who does decide to split ties with me, the door is always open; when you're ready.
As a conclusion to the original question, I like girls and I want to be one.
I leave off with a song by a band called Coyote grace. It's called "A Guy Named Joe."
"but I go slow,
I say goodbye to everyone I know,
and one morning I awoke and"
I was this girl named Tess.(
I am Freaked out of my frelling mind right now, There's some wording I want to change in the first poem but I'm afraid if I go in to change anything I might take the whole thing down....
