Hi! I'm 30 years old- female

For a long time I wish I had a penis and I was scared. I come from a religious family. Anyway, I found out recently I have PCOS and I assume that is why I want to be male because I have higher levels of testosterone.

But it gets confusing because I want to be male but am happy being female. Sometimes I stuff my pants wishing there really was a penis there. I know it is confusing.

I also believe I am bi because I really like Katie Holmes and love males.

I'm confusing... I'm sorry if this is not approprate for this forum

Not inappropriate at all!   Welcome to the forums, where there are plenty of people who will understand and offer support.

Sounds to me like you have several issues that you want to sort out.  A good therapist can definitely help with that, but if you can't afford or don't have access to one, there are benefits to be gained by talking to others who might have been where you are.  That's not me, not by a long shot.   But we have many different boards here where I'm sure someone else would be a lot more helpful.

Again, welcome to Susan's!

Hey C-81. I too am new to posting but have been reading for a while. I agree a counseler would be very helpful - wish I had gone when I was 30. But in lew of that this is a great place to reach out, question and ponder over things. Sit back and look around, so very much to see 

Hi
And welcome to the gang, you are very welcome and I'm sure some of the guys will greet you soon

Hugs
Cindy

welcome to the forums!

i'm a pretty happy woman myself, except when i'm a man.. confusing? well, that's just who i am

this should be a good place for you to find out more about yourself. just take your time, read what others write, ask questions. interacting with others may help you find a place where you feel you can belong. i'm looking forward to learning who you are

Hi there, welcome I'm Sam, I'm nearly 32, and have been pretty much where you are.

First thing you need to know - PCOS has nothing to do with this. As I explained to Mum, if it did and this confusion would be alleviated just by fixing the ovaries, there wouldn't be any conflicted female-bodied people. I had it before my hysterectomy, and still feel that my body needs to be male.

Also, it is alright to not feel one or the other, or to feel both male and female. It makes things a lot more confusing, but there are plenty of people who post in what they call the Unicorn Forest who are happy to be somewhere in the middle. I'm one of them, in fact. Might be an idea if you hang around that area while you try to figure things out, although if you want a chat, just let me know