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Happy or not?

Started by jillian, July 02, 2011, 07:03:31 AM

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Northern Jane

37+ years ago I was ready to commit suicide - instead I transitioned and had SRS.

The 37 years haven't been all peaches & cream but they have been pretty darned good. Am I always happy? No. Am I happier than I would have been? OF COURSE! I would have been dead.
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annette

Started transition 30 years ago, srs 27 years ago.
Life had for me a mayor improvement, sure, what Jenny said, every life has ups and downs but if I didn't had gid life also had some ups and downs.

The answer is yes, happy

Hugs
Annette
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azSam

Quote from: jillian on July 02, 2011, 07:03:31 AM
My dad says the majority of people like us lead very unhappy lives.

Rather than write an extended post to argue this, I'll make it simple.

Is your father a psychiatrist?
Has he studied extensively on gender identity?
Is he transsexual?

If not, then it sounds like an unreliable source to me.

Although what he could have meant is that transsexuals, who do not transition lead very unhappy lives, and in that case, I'd say he's pretty right.
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Naturally Blonde

Quote from: AmySmiles on July 02, 2011, 09:26:36 AM
If any of us lead unhappy lives, or at least less happy than before, we probably had unrealistic expectations to begin with.  I imagine most of us are at least a bit happier than we were before.  For the lack of dysphoria if nothing else.  As Kay said, leading a life where you feel like you're just acting to make others happy is one of the surest ways to unhappiness there can be.

An excellent post Amy and I think it sums things up perfectly.
Living in the real world, not a fantasy
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Pica Pica

Quote from: V M on July 02, 2011, 05:05:23 PM
Allot of wealthy people are miserably unhappy, should that detour me from trying to be successful?

No, but maybe it should prompt a re-evaluation of what success is.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
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Anatta

Kia Ora Jillian,

::) Might I suggest you read all the posts in the "post/non op" - "transitioning" and discrimination sections and if you find the vast majority continually "bitch and moan" about society and everyday life, then you will have your "truthful" answer...

Or you could just monitor the posts of some of the posters here...For example just select at random some prolific posters and just monitor theirs...

Happiness is just a "fluctuating" state of mind, but lasting happiness is when one understands that "life just is" and learns not to take "it" too seriously...

Happy mindfulness :)

Metta Zenda :)
"The most essential method which includes all other methods is beholding the mind. The mind is the root from which all things grow. If you can understand the mind, everything else is included !"   :icon_yes:
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tekla

No, but maybe it should prompt a re-evaluation of what success is.

True that PicaX2
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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V M

Success can mean a variety of things to pretty well everyone at different times and so therefore I believe it is constantly evaluated and reevaluated

A student gets a passing grade in school, a shy person works up the courage to ask someone they fancy out for a date and finds true love, a person who suffers from social anxiety finds acceptance among others, a lonely person creates a lasting friendship, A trans person gains acceptance from there family and friends, an unemployed person lands a good paying job, a peace activist ends a war... The list is endless and could include simple and/or complicated issues

Most everyone is working on their idea of success and happiness... I am interested in becoming a therapist so I can help others find their happiness
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Stephe

Quote from: Zenda on July 02, 2011, 09:19:23 PM

Happiness is just a "fluctuating" state of mind, but lasting happiness is when one understands that "life just is" and learns not to take "it" too seriously...



This is very true. Life really -just is- and we have to accept our situation and make the best of it. I really do try to look at how lucky I am in MANY areas and just accept being born TG, as "well, it just is", accept it and get on with my life.
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justmeinoz

I can't know how anyone else feels so I will only speak for myself.

Simple answer is that Karen is very happy almost all the time, whereas G***** was rarely happy, and often severely Depressed.

If your father is not a qualified expert in the area, or is not himself TS his opinion is just that.  Has he actually spent time conversing with the transgendered or transsexual?
If you are the only one of us he knows,  and you are happy,  then 100% of those he has met must logically be happy.

Karen.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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Jillieann Rose

I'm happy when I look in the mirror and see a women.
Sad when I see the hurt in my wife's eyes.
Happy when people call me miss.
Sad that my family think I'm crazy.
Happy when I am wear a dress.
Sad because all the years I have missed and years of denial.

In reality this is not an easy life but it is better then death which was the alternative for me.

Yes but not to happiness which is an emotion that can change minute by minute.
But to the fact that I am content with who I am now, have a inter-joy and a sense of well being.

Jillieann

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Annah

Quote from: jillian on July 02, 2011, 07:03:31 AM
My dad says the majority of people like us lead very unhappy lives.  Please tell me the truth, are you happy?

Jillian, I am the happiest i have ever been. I am happier than a kitten in a bowl of milk.

If you would like, he can email me at my Seminary address. I can talk with him (because it sounds like he may be a religious man) and tell him there are many of us who are leading healthy, happy lives as leaders in various religious institutions such as churches, chaplains in hospitals, etc.

Just pm me
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Pica Pica

Quote from: Zenda on July 02, 2011, 09:19:23 PM
Happiness is just a "fluctuating" state of mind, but lasting happiness is when one understands that "life just is" and learns not to take "it" too seriously...

It seems possible to learn habits to increase fluctuations up rather than down - if you treat the world with realistic expectations and take time out to fully enjoy and experience each happy time, I think it's possible to be happy far more than unhappy.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
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Naturally Blonde

I would say I'm still not happy but more happier than I was a decade ago before I started transition. I'm happier I started transitioning but not happy that it hasn't facilitated the physical changes I hoped for.
Living in the real world, not a fantasy
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kimberrrly

Quote from: Lisbeth on July 02, 2011, 10:15:29 AM
I think partly it's not even the right question. My life after transitioning has had some major ups and downs, but if I hadn't transitioned what would my life be like? I believe that if I hadn't started dealing with my gender issues back in 1997, I would not be alive today. For those who have not heard the story, the crisis came in the doctors office when I passed out during a blood pressure test. The reading was 210/140. It was either deal with what I was stuffing inside myself or die. A lot of the problems I have had during transition have been linked to that old way of life of not dealing with my problems and stuffing them. I am slowly learning a new way of thinking and living, and I'm much happier for it. I would never have gotten here if I hadn't transitioned.

After saying that, transition is not a magic solution to your problems. Whatever problems you have before transition, whatever dysfunctional ways of thinking and acting, they will still be there after transition unless you work to change them too.

And transition is not for everyone. When I was living with Ell, she couldn't deal with how people might see her as "->-bleeped-<-," couldn't even stand to go walking in the neighborhood, thinking that people where "giving her the stink-eye." Unless you are strong enough to deal with the feelings of being seen as different, it may be a hard road. I have been lucky in that area, not caring what other people think and turning fairly passable after all.

And, yes, I'm very happy now.

I agree with this... I was a bit short in my answer... if I had not transitioned my life would be hell now... simple as that. Now it is less of a hell but there are days I am really tired of having to be a TS while my heart tells me I am a normal woman. And also living with the damage of the years I was not able to transition is hard.
Still, I can honestly say that I am happy sometimes now. And I could never have said that before my transition.

Oh and one more thing! If my life as a TS will eventually become the end of me... looking back from where I am now, It still was worth it....
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justmeinoz

Actually thinking about it, if G***** had not realised he was Transsexual he would probably not be.

Not, not be happy, just not be.  Not by his own hand, but just because he would not have cared whether he survived or not. He probably wouldn't have.

Karen on the other hand is full of the joy of life.

Karen.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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tekla

You are so LA girl.  Your first thought is to produce (and star in I assume) and direct and distribute a video.  Meghan Studios, right there past the kitchen, but before the bath.  I swear that half the kitchen tables in LA turn into post-production facilities when everybody finishes the fish tacos for dinner.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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RhinoP

Actually, no study on earth has ever recorded the opinion that Trans lead unhappy lives; the entire spectrum of depression in Trans results in either A. Discrimination, B. Medical Health (hormonal imbalances that have caused a man or woman to look too extreme to transition realistically), C. Discrimination in the Medical Health field that restricts a Trans' health improvments. Trans' have indeed been proven to commit suicide more than almost any group of people on Earth, but those suicidal thoughts are directly the result of Discrimination and not the Disorder itself; even the DSM says this.

Absolutely no other factors have been recorded in Trans mental health. Even the sometimes Mental Health conditions, such as BDD, Phobias, ect ect, all have been proven to have been caused by earlier Discrimination or Abuse in a trans' life. Quite frankly, this very same thing has been proved in people of all genders or orientations, the psychology of it is really no different. Discrimination and Abuse causes Depression, there's hardly ever been a recorded instance where a person is Depressed without an underlining physical reason (though oftentimes these physical reasons are denied by Religious-based Therapists who insist that Depression is a root of Sin or Chemical Imbalance, when it is not.)

For instance, some professionals will claim that Depression happens because of a chemical imbalance. This is fraudulent and untrue. The Chemical Imbalance that can be read using technological advances is actually caused by persistent Depression, the Chemical Imbalance is not the cause, but the result. This resulting Chemical Imbalance, the result of Abuse and Neglect, can actually go on further to cause many Health Issues, so it's quite literally an emergency to fix Depression in a Realistic way (Social, Realistic Transitioning, Proper Image/ Gender Treatments). Anti-Depressants really just do not do anything that a good old shot of Whiskey doesn't do; who wants to stay drunk and high all the time to forget a physical problem in life?

Quite frankly, modern Anti-Depressants and the like did not exist until just decades ago, yet humanity has survived thousands and thousands of years by gulping down booze, being brain-washed by churches, and having sex every 4 seconds. It works just as much as any medication has proven to. Yet they both are dangerous, detrimental alternatives in the face of having your physical health issues, such as physical image, gender image, and gender identity fixed in a hormonal or surgical manner. Studies overwhelmingly prove that physical alternations to a person's physical issues results in more happiness, both short term and long term, than therapedic, depressant, or religious alternatives ever could.
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Ann Onymous

Quote from: tekla on July 10, 2011, 05:26:10 AM
You are so LA girl.  Your first thought is to produce (and star in I assume) and direct and distribute a video.  Meghan Studios, right there past the kitchen, but before the bath.  I swear that half the kitchen tables in LA turn into post-production facilities when everybody finishes the fish tacos for dinner.

having just been out there a few weeks ago and due back again next week, that had me rolling on the floor :)
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Joelene9

  Yes, I am!  I have yet to experience the mood swings caused by the HRT, as described by others here on Susan's.  I guess I already had too much of those before starting HRT, it must also have been the cancer scare.  Acceptance with my friends and family.  A single train of thought instead of three at once!  I'm like that antelope in my headlights at Bryce 2 weeks ago still.  Still a bit stunned.
  Joelene
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