hi I'm a transgender, ever siace i was about 8 i felt diffrent . i started to see things differently and more diffrent i sorta felt girly , this feeling would come and go and every time it would grow stronger and longer . when i was 10 i figured out more about this feeling and did some reseach online , i chatted to people online about it and some said i may be a transgender some said i mite be a little confused . at age 11 i started to think weather i wanted to be a girl or not
Ive been researching more and more about transgender's and started to wonder about it every day if i was one, I'm also not into men , i still like girls but at the same time i find my shelf feeling like one and some times even acting like one . Ive decided to start thinking about taking female hormones when i start college .i try to tell my parrents about it ( i live with my grandma and grandpa and there really old so i don't think they would understand much, that including there a bit awkward) some thing gets in the way so pls don't try to tell me to talk to them about it ... does any one have any advice for me oh and im [age removed] right now

[edited by Padma]

I am 43 MTF and I am married to a woman.
Who you want to sleep with does not decide who you are.
If you are into females and you are female, then you are a lesbian.

Do not let anyone try and convince you this is a phase. It isn't. I am much like you. I knew for sure I was trans at age 9. The 'phase' never went away.....

Welcome to Susan's, lissa!

The notion of a male-to-female transsexual being lesbian is hardly new...the difference nowadays is that the shrinks at least seem willing to acknowledge that some may not have a post-operative heterosexual identity.  The archaic medical community and its thoughts as recently as the latter part of the 80's cost me several years of my life...fortunately by the early 90's I had found a lesbian counselor who had no problem writing my letter for surgery.

And yes, the onset of thoughts was early in life...and I was certainly lesbian-identified by the time I was in my early teens (again, not exactly a common occurrence in that era even having grown up in the Houston area).

again, not exactly a common occurrence in that era even having grown up in the Houston area

Not that you ever heard about.  Though I think the numbers must be the same everywhere.

Quote from: tekla on July 03, 2011, 06:54:43 PM
again, not exactly a common occurrence in that era even having grown up in the Houston area

Not that you ever heard about.  Though I think the numbers must be the same everywhere.

well, it WAS back when the drinking age was 18 and the lesbian bars were never real strong about carding peeps who came in...and it was pretty clear to me that there were not a lot of women there who were my age.  My experience on a college campus at 17 was also much the same as I saw in high school...

That is not to say that some women I knew did not come out later in life after having made their failed attempt to be the happy little heterosexual that mommy and daddy wanted...including one who I had a major crush on from about 7th grade on (proving that gaydar functioned even at that young age).  We both look back at those years and wonder what might have happened if we both could have actually TALKED about internalized feelings...she is the only person I have stayed in touch with from my high school class. 

I can't say this exactly qualifies as advice, but a little anecdote may be useful. I've felt the way I feel since I can remember, which is to say I can't remember how I felt about all this before I was six, as if I can remember much else from before that time. When I was in my early teens, fifteen perhaps, I started learning a lot about what all this was, but wanted instant results. I wanted to go into a hospital and roll out fully changed. It wasn't that I didn't understand the processes had to be the way it was, I simply couldn't. Fast forward to uni. I spent a spell with the uni shrink and therapists. I was diagnosed with depression and OCD, which now I know were both way off the mark. My gender issues did come up when talking with the shrink, and he did put out an olive branch, but I simply shelled up, and accepted how I was was how I will be. That there was nothing I could do at that point and I would simply have to live in misery for the remainder of days. Three years later and I had the worst mental breakdown I have ever experienced. I nearly pushed away everyone important to me. The few who clung near pushed me in the right direction, back to the shrink. Happy times ensued.


Too long? Didn't read? Don't make excuses to avoid being happy. If you know it's what you want, go up and take it. Happiness should never be marginalized.

at that age times and feelings change, change again and again. you have plenty of time to find yourself and do not rush it. not that starting early is a bad thing - wish i did. but my feelings were very strong from my earlies memories. but that was almost 50 years ago and there was not much info where i was back then. Sit back and do your studies, there is a lot to learn here and elsewhere. we are with you in spirit and here to listen. 

Lissa'a story describes quite a few of the members I know personally here . Would suggest that Lissa in this case seek out at least two different therapists who do not know one another and discern if you are really a candidate for H R T . Once you start hormones , irreversible changes set in within a year . This is especially true in younger people .

Whom you desire to sleep with doesn't necessarily make you Gay in my opinion . I would suggest you try living for six months as you're chosen gender . If after six months , this is something you could do realistically, go for the therapy . By the way, don't allow other transgenders force you into any particular train of thought . Transitions are personal .Everyone has a right to decide on how and when to go forward ........ ellen

I think many factors come into play; if a boy is relatively androgynous looking already, and is not 100% sure of his identity, he can probably get away with crossdressing and passing without disturbing his hormones. I know tons of transgenders who are such beautiful girls, yet some of them haven't spent a day on hormones. It really comes down to how relative your face and body feels to who you are. If you feel that your body is rapidly getting more masculine in a direction that you know you'll never like, then hormones would be a savior. If your growth patterns are comfortable to you at the moment, then experimenting around with clothing, make-up, personality changes, and behaviors may be a better alternative to know if the pressures of doing these things are right for who you are. Seek the easy stuff first if you feel it's possible for your case.

Second, there seems to be three gender conditions relatively. Transsexualism is where someone seems to be dedicated to 100% being a girl, and doing everything it takes - hormones, surgery, and so forth. Transsgender seems to blur the definition a bit, and seems to sometimes apply more to people who take a slightly more experimental or less evasive approach, but are serious in their identity all the same. And then there's men who do have a fetish for being a girl in roleplay roles, where they instantly "have nothing to do with it" in their social life and choose to keep it in the bedroom. There's also drag queens, who tend to lead dual lifestyles of a man and woman, and usually the woman side of things is very exaggerated and almost comedic, very experimental, though duo-role identities can be just as serious and down to earth as anyone else.

And, to be downright honest, there are some downright female acting gays out there. I know hundreds of gays who literally wear make-up, carry purses, wear pink, and behave in every single manner like a girl or extremely gay gay, but just enjoy an androgynous male body if they're lucky enough to have it. Some people just are a mish-mash of what body parts they enjoy having or hate having, and in many cases, there's an eager sexual audience out there waiting to date them no matter what identity or mash of traits they enjoy having. That is, unless the person is just sort of butt ugly no matter what role they take on, in which case, the person sort of tends to become asexual or rebellious of sex out of being self-conscious or lonely for so long. I should know, I've been heading in an asexual direction for years out of a constant self-hate of my extremely masculine image that medically falls way outside the normal appearance for my age, height, gender preference, and personality.

At the end of the day, there are a billion classifications and identities, but the reality is that the information and solutions surrounding these identities should never lead you into a certain lifestyle; it's most healthy to have an innate desire to change the sex or a certain feature before you really "learn" if it's possible. You don't want to go full-time into any lifestyle just because it sounds interesting or "may be you, who knows." You really have to follow your own personality and your own preferences and your own heart, and the classifications that come about will just come about when you have yourself figured out. When the time is right, you'll know your place in the world, wether negative or positive, and as always, remember to always go slow and seek alternatives before jumping into big choices.

My only advice would be, once you are certain of this (do research, get therapy, etc) if you can transition early do it, if you can't then wait until you have plenty of money in the bank.

welcome lissa! my names momoka, nice to meet you. i second pinkfluff btw