the other day when picking up a book that i had on reserve at barnes and noble i saw a trans women, she happened to be my cashier. i dont know if people around us knew she wasan MtF but i did. like gays have excellent gaydar i a FtM have excellent... transdar? i wondered if this "knowing" was mutual, of course i didnt say anything and she didnt say anything. im still wondering if the "ha what a coincidence another trans person" bell was going off in her head too? i guess ill never know.

have you had any odd encounters with other trans people? post em below.

Trans people are far more aware of the little signs which other people generally just dismiss, so it is very likely that we can recognize other trans people easier. I've seen a few women who appeared to be MtF transsexuals and a few who I was sure of, but I never had the courage to talk to them about it and I think it wouldn't be very polite to say anything, especially in a public place.

I think this could be like the "When is your baby due" question, when they are not preggers.. I see plenty of born females who you could "clock" as MTF so be careful! I see people I think might be trans but honestly I feel no more "kindship" than I do with say another white person etc. Being trans just is. As far as speaking to them, I speak to all sorts of people so I might say hi, but might say hi if they aren't trans too. If they look shy I would likely leave them alone. I sure wouldn't say "Hi there fellow trans person!"

Put yourself a reversal role.  You have been fulltime for a bit now, seem to be going great in the "passing" department and all of a sudden someone says "Are you Trans?' or "Are you a male/boy or a female/girl?".

Exploding balloon.  Sounds of your self-esteem going down the drain

Never ask unless you are dead certain.

Quote from: Irish Janet on July 02, 2011, 01:31:16 PM
Never ask unless you are dead certain.

for the very reason you mentioned.

There is one woman who works in one of the doctors offices I go to on a regular basis who is likely trans. When she see's me her cold demeanor changes to personable and helpful and she gets a knowing look about her. We just smile and handle paper work.
Yes there is trans'dar but it is best to not let anouther trans person know you have read them.

I've seen someone at my church sometimes who seems like she could be trans. I haven't asked 'cause I know how I'd feel if it was me being asked, but I did feel a bit better for possibly seeing another trans-person at church

The evening after my honorable discharge from the USN in Orlando, Fla. I checked into a motel and went directly to the closet bar for a drink. The lady bartender asked me if I realized I was in a gay bar. It was obvious due to all of the attention I was getting from the guys. She was a tall blonde. She told me that she was not a true female. My response was "I know."  She was very passable however I just knew she was TG.

I don't think I'd bring it up at all unless the other person started a conversation.  I had a server whom I think was trans a few months ago.  He was really cheery until he turned around and saw me.  It was obvious that having me around made him rather uncomfortable, and he started mumbling and wouldn't make eye contact.  I think he was afraid of me saying something.  I would imagine that a lot of people would have similar reactions around people they think would clock them as trans.  It seems best to just leave it be.

Generally I think I wouldn't approach the subject unless I knew them. I would treat them as they seem to prefer. Then I would probably out myself first, after skating around the subject for quite a while to see what their reaction was. That way, at worst I would simply have been honest with a friend.

If we met at a GLBT club or similar then it would be a lot different, as the possibility of a relationship is involved, and orientation is relevant .

Karen.

I have come in contact with some folks that I have a good guess are trans but I don't want to out them or make them feel like they are passing any less .... so I do things like make a compliment and most of the time I get the knowing look - my voice is such a dead give away.  For example -- the other day I was at the cable company and the cashier next to mine was clearly an FtM --- so when I was done paying I complimented her on her hair - it looked cool -- she gave me a big smile then her eyes shifted and she looked at me a little different in a sense of recognition and said "thanks man".

Once when in a shop I was sure the person behind me in the queue was a trans guy, I would never say anything though as that would be like telling him he doesn't pass, I think he probably did pass to most people though as they don't look for it like we do.

I try to leave people who I think are transgender aswell alone and behave as normal as possible, because you know how it feels like it is to be looked at. And no, I wouldnt dare ask , looking in bad enough already

I've had it only a few times but when it happens I often wonder if they notice me and what they think , am I just an ordinairy bypasses, a gay or someone who might know more and gets them nervous or even curious. *ponders *

However when I see two men who are obviously a couple I cant supress a huge friendly smirk  Ive only had this a few times with 2 women that I had the idea they were a couple since its much more accepted to just see 2 girls walking hand in hand who are just friends and shopping and lol'ing around

Quote from: Stephe on July 02, 2011, 12:28:06 PM
I think this could be like the "When is your baby due" question, when they are not preggers.. I see plenty of born females who you could "clock" as MTF so be careful! I see people I think might be trans but honestly I feel no more "kindship" than I do with say another white person etc. Being trans just is. As far as speaking to them, I speak to all sorts of people so I might say hi, but might say hi if they aren't trans too. If they look shy I would likely leave them alone. I sure wouldn't say "Hi there fellow trans person!"

Stephie, great post !

I encountered a transwoman while I was in Fredricksburg Virginia years ago while I was headed to an event for the weekend . There were several obnoxious customers that obviously need to get ahead . I told them to do so. I smiled as she rung me up. she said , Thanks for being so paitent . Uh No problem , I replyed . Oh well, life near D C ............ ellen

I would never EVER say anything to anyone unless they raised the topic. If anybody ever questioned my gender, they would get an incredulous look and a very rude reply. It is not a topic for public conversation with strangers.

i also walked by an ftm on the beach the other day i could tell by his double incision scars, and after closer quick examination his hips. i tend to take the same approach as the penguins of Madagascar "just smile and wave, boys, smile and wave." although i do less waving but you get the point.

I had a grievance counselor once who i am sure was a MTF. I just knew. My transdar went off. lol

Well in my area (Pta, SA) are VERY few white trans-folks and with FtM ... what do I know?
They mostly seem just lesbian females, otherwise the one FtM I know, I would NEVER ever have guessed.

During my early transition some thought I was FtM... well, well, not anymore (I hope :-).

Going shopping I noticed two MtF, very nice boob-jobs both, less then big hips for their age and shoulders slightly on the wide side (I also like that in any GG).
But by all means quite attractive in a special way, even stunning - for who would have eyes to see.

The one was lean, pretty tall, much tanned, and still wearing heals (6' 10"+, few GGs would, being that tall, and a VERY trained through body, calves, arms the lot.

I had thought afterwards aught to have asked if she had time for a cup of coffee, but missed the opportunity. Was too stunned actually, so all we did was exchange some knowing glances and a shy smile.

Both were sexy as hell, both in their late 30s just maybe early 40s, at least in my take :-)

Axelle

I'd hate really I mean rEEAALLLLLYYY HHAATTEE for someone to think that about me out in public regardless of who they are so I don't think like that out in public.
I have looked across crowds before and seen people that are a little more masculine or feminine than their sex would perhaps suggest but I'm not going to just assume that they're not natal because of that.

Quote from: Axelle on July 15, 2011, 08:00:12 AM
The one was lean, pretty tall, much tanned, and still wearing heals (6' 10"+, few GGs would, being that tall, and a VERY trained through body, calves, arms the lot.

absent other cues, my default there would have been to ask if they played WBB anywhere...but then again, being as close to a team that used to consistently be in the top-10 as I am, I am used to seeing players and former players in heels despite their being well over six feet tall.  And yes, many of them had bodies to match what you describe...post play, even in the women's game can be absolutely brutal in the paint...