I am new here.  My problem is that I can NOT transition. nor can I pass as male.  I am in a small town, where everyone knows everyone, and moving is not an option at this time.  I am losing the battle with coping, and am severely depressed.  Is there anyone that is surviving this way?  I am in my early 40's.  I have thought of binding, in my home, for ME, but am a DD and do not think it will work. 

Any advice from anyone?

Hi Rhyce, sorry no one has responded yet. The weekends can be a lil sluggish on a message board.

I am a GG or NG (genitic or natal girl), but I am the SO (significant other) of a TG (M2F).

I don't have experience in what you are asking, but I do have experience in despair. Please know there are many people here who can offer advice and support to you to help get you through the darker days.

Hang in there. Truly. It can get better. :hugs:

Hi Rhyce, welcome to the board.

Is it that you can't transition or you don't want to in a small town? It's not as bad as it seems like it might be. I transitioned in a small town, very publically and, although it had its moments (like when my voice was cracking like a teenager when I was trying to make a closing argument in court), they've mostly been funny, rather than scary.

It's a little annoying not being able to be as stealth as I'd like, but nobody treats me as anything other than male now.

No harm in trying binding if it might make you feel better. And, you could see if there are any therapists within driving range who might be able to help you out. It may not be as impossible as you think at this stage.

Dennis

Oh hey Erik, one thing I CAN totally address...the binding. I too am a DD and for sports I bind. It is not comfortable, but you get used to it. When I bind it doesn't take the silihoutte away tho because of breast size. One thing I will say is your nipples will itch like mad. At least mine do once I unwrap. The other thing about binding with large breasts is ya really gotta do it tight which makes you feel like you can't breath very well, so when you do it think of that feeling as a great big bear hug from yourself to get you through the day.

Thanks for the responses.  As to transitioning.  I can't.  I have a heart problem severe enough that I cannot have surgery.  I also am an asthmatic, so there is another issue. 

I have thought of binding in my home, for my own comfort.  But the asthma is an issue, I think.  If I could, does anyone know what way would be best?  a binding shirt, perhaps, from Underworks?

Thanks again for the responses.

Underworks is good, but I'd consider ordering one size up from your actual size, because of the asthma. I now only wear mine when I'm out, because it is tight. I wish I'd ordered a larger, more comfortable size.

Hello Rhyce and welcome to Susan's!

Thank you for your introduction.  I am sure you will find Susan's to be that place you have always looked for.  Please take a second to get familiar with all the forums of the site, review the site rules, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chatroom, and the reference library.  There is plenty of valuable information here as well as wonderful people who are always willing to give you a helping hand.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay!


tinkerbell

Hello Rhyce-
I have pretty severe asthma and, while I don't have a D chest I've not had a problem with my asthma and binding. That is, so long as I avoid exercise and don't go near major allergens while binding. So I don't go up a lot of stairs and I don't walk up steep hills because that's a surefire way to induce an attack for me, especially when binding because yeah; it can make you somewhat short of breath. Don't bind too tight; underworks binders are really nice in that they bind well but still allow your lungs to expand pretty far.

*smiles a bit sadly*  I begin to think that there is no one out there in my position.  Perhaps they already took the path I have discarded, and ended it.  I am not one to do that, so it is not an issue with me, but I would love to find out how others cope with this.

Even if you can't have surgery, you can still transition. I haven't had surgery yet, and I pass as a male full time because I've been on testosterone for seven months. I also live in a small town, but have been in college for the last few months and have come home only recently. I'm now facing the prospect of telling my old friends, teachers, and neighbors about my transition. I'm not going to say it's easy transitioning in a small town, but it's not going to be as hard as you think.

The body I am in cannot pass as a male without surgery.  And I think that to go 'part way' would be worse on me yet.  And when your small town is in the 'bible belt' it *is* that hard.

hm..=\