please?

Ok, I'm going out tomorrow night to a gay club and I really don't mean to be offensive here (I think the majority of you may understand though) but I don't want people to assume I'm a butch lesbian, I want to put across gay MAN vibes. I can't seem to do be able to do this 

Nevermind the fact that my straight female friend (who is often the only other person who wants to accompany me there) gets more girls (and guys) coming onto her lol.

Make me wonder what I'm doing wrong heh

anyone understand even just a little bit? any tips? any anything?

bump, to keep on front page 

I don't go to the clubs anymore really, but I'm pretty sure that across the spectrum of gay and straight, the most important thing is confidence.   That's probably why your friend has more luck, confidence is sexy.  Looks are damn important too, don't get me wrong, but  I used to get hit on/cruised by gay guys in the clubs fairly frequently before transitioning when I had been popular with the ladies that night and feeling good about myself.  The nights I had been keeping more to myself and just talking to the couple people I knew, I don't know that I was even getting checked out.    I don't really have any tips on projecting gay male energy though, I'm bisexual, but never went to the clubs to meet men, and wasn't interested in any attention I received from them, other than feeling briefly flattered.   What I do know is that most gay men are very forward and not at all subtle in expressing their interest, which is where confidence would factor in again.

From what I know, passing in a place like that is very hard. A friend of mine is a really flamboyant gay guy,and that tends to work for him in those spaces. Being yourself is the best option but it's hard to do.

Quote from: Bahzi on July 09, 2011, 08:29:03 PM
I don't go to the clubs anymore really, but I'm pretty sure that across the spectrum of gay and straight, the most important thing is confidence.   That's probably why your friend has more luck, confidence is sexy.  Looks are damn important too, don't get me wrong, but  I used to get hit on/cruised by gay guys in the clubs fairly frequently before transitioning when I had been popular with the ladies that night and feeling good about myself.  The nights I had been keeping more to myself and just talking to the couple people I knew, I don't know that I was even getting checked out.    I don't really have any tips on projecting gay male energy though, I'm bisexual, but never went to the clubs to meet men, and wasn't interested in any attention I received from them, other than feeling briefly flattered.   What I do know is that most gay men are very forward and not at all subtle in expressing their interest, which is where confidence would factor in again.

yeh, confidence is a pretty big factor, that makes sense. My post was a bit misleading and strange because I'm not ready for a relationship yet and don't actively seek out a guy or a girl in clubs  but I still feel lonely and kinda want someone Basically  I just care too much what people think of me and the thought of them thinking I'm a female even if a butch one makes me feel rubbish

Quote from: Nygeel on July 09, 2011, 08:32:46 PM
From what I know, passing in a place like that is very hard. A friend of mine is a really flamboyant gay guy,and that tends to work for him in those spaces. Being yourself is the best option but it's hard to do.

That's true about the hard to pass in a gay club thing. I need to remember that I guess.

I'm thinking also, that, when I pass it's usually when people think I'm about 12 and they havent heard me speak. In clubs, it's obvious that I'm above 18 so I guess that wrecks that :/

I wish I didn't worry so much and just be like a normal person going out

I haven't been to a gay club, and one of the reasons is because I'm afraid I won't pass.  Even with facial hair and a deep voice.  I just don't know how to act in an all LGBT space.  Especially as a gay man because I didn't originally socialize that way.

A former classmate who bartended at a gay bar told me that the lesbians tended to wear polo shirts with "punched-in" chests (I assume he meant they hunched or binded to reduce the visibility of their breasts--but I honestly have no idea) and the gay men wear sleeveless, form-fitting tank tops.  That's just at his bar though.

So I honestly have no idea how to act, dress, or dance at a gay bar or club.  I wish I had advice for you, but I'm looking for the same advice myself lol Hopefully some other guys will chip in as well.