Cross-posted but again, no disclaimers nor apologies.

Life is chosen. Permanently.

I feel like hell, but I live.

I have said this before on multiple instances, echoing the sentiment made by other girls; I will say it one more time:

"I truly would not wish this condition upon my worst enemy."

_______________________________________

"(crying)

Never underestimate the value or saving value of people who love you.

I made a promise to someone who is very special to me and I intend to keep it.

I sure have a splitting headache now..."

A promise made to someone... prevents you from being true to yourself?  I made many promises which I had to break.  I had to be true to myself.  It turned out to be a blessing to those who now curse me.  For I was able to provide for them for all these years.  Had I not broken those promises... I'd be dead. They never asked me to promise not to kill myself.  They only told me that act was selfish.

I feel for you.  I've been there.  I can't help you much I'm afraid.  I can commiserate though.  I'm sorry you are stuck.

Cindi

Quote from: Cindi Jones on February 18, 2007, 08:49:59 AM
A promise made to someone... prevents you from being true to yourself?  I made many promises which I had to break.  I had to be true to myself.  It turned out to be a blessing to those who now curse me.  For I was able to provide for them for all these years.  Had I not broken those promises... I'd be dead. They never asked me to promise not to kill myself.  They only told me that act was selfish.

I feel for you.  I've been there.  I can't help you much I'm afraid.  I can commiserate though.  I'm sorry you are stuck.

Cindi

No hon.

Not unless being true to oneself entails self-destruction.

My transition continues as it MUST, in my case.

We both know this now and killing myself would destroy both of us.

Given the intensity of my GID, a promise not to transition or to attempt to hold a stasis in the same simply cannot be adhered to nor kept.

We both know this now.

Quote from: rhonda13000 on February 18, 2007, 09:00:33 AM
Not unless being true to oneself entails self-destruction.

My transition continues as it MUST, in my case.

We both know this now and killing myself would destroy both of us.

Life is a never ending series of choices.  And we are the ones making them.  You can choose to transition.  You can choose not to transition.  You can choose to be happy.  You can choose to be miserable.  But regardless of what choices you make the responsibility for where you are in life is completely in your hands.

There's a thread here about suicide you may want to read: Suicide

Julie

"You can choose to be happy.  You can choose to be miserable."

True for the most part. Be it said however, that certain 'endogenous conditions' can either severely inhibit or preclude freedom of choice.

Not all of the issues of life, are cognitively derived or find their ultimate etiology and resolution in that domain.

I mean no disrespect here; this is simply an observation from the perspective of a girl who has lived for half of a century in this mode of existence and who has both observed and experienced much.

When I am depressed I run.

Bri

Rhonda, I hear your pain hon. I have, along with others have had the same kind of pain. We all chose to live, mine was that I failed again and felt like a loser when I came out of the hospital. I have lived over a half century also. I do know what you are going through. I am also married and I'm still married. I don't think there was only but one choice that I made and that was to see a therapist or try to kill myself again. I know that the fourth time I would have been successful. The therapist made me see a lot of things that I just kept hidden and one, mind you only one, was the crossdressing which I knew was transsexuality. I had a lot on my plate. I came through and my marriage is still intact and I only lost one person in my life that I cared about. So, I was lucky. When I feel that I have had a rough life, I look at some others that I have come across in the last 10 years. Some have had it really bad, so I don't feel that bad anymore, in fact it has brought me to this point in my life that I want to help others. I do the best I can, without the education that is needed. I only hope that in my uneducated ways that I can help others go on in whatever they want. Suicide is a way out, but it is permanent and once you do it, there is no going back and you don't know what is on the other side. I have always thought that I do know what is going on here and I will ride this wave out until I hit the pier. Watch out I'm riding that 15 footer and I'm not going to wipeout. LOL
Sheila