When Perseverance Becomes Self-Destruction

http://tranifesto.com/2011/07/11/when-perseverance-becomes-self-destruction/
7/11//11
Matt Kailey

Almost everyone – trans and non-trans – has a habit of staying too long, trying too hard, putting up with too much, going along to get along. But I think that trans people can sometimes be at higher risk of sacrificing our self-interests because we might not know where else to go or what else to do.

Obviously, not all of us are in a position to leave a toxic town, job, or family situation. But we often are in a position to stop trying to build our self-worth, self-esteem, and very identity in a tear-down zone. For example:

Relationships: We know the relationship is dysfunctional – even destructive – but we stay, often out of fear that we will never find another. "Who else will love me?" we wonder. I was guilty of exactly this kind of thinking when I first started to transition. I met a trans woman who was frustrated because she couldn't find a relationship. She actually had two men in pursuit of her, but when she came out as trans to one, he couldn't handle it and left. The other didn't care at all – she actually left him because he didn't share any of her important interests and hobbies.