I read about so many girls that can cry so easily right after starting HRT and in a way I'm jealous but the thought scares me as well because I'm not full time yet and "guys aren't allowed to cry."  So how long did it take before you had a good cry after starting HRT? When was the last time you cried before that? Do you cry much now?

I think I made it almost 7 months on a full dose of HRT before shedding a tear and it was only a few tears while listening to the radio on the work. That was 2-3 weeks ago and I haven't cried since then. I do feel much more emotionally lately and now I find myself "close" to tears but I always control it. Other than the few tears a few weeks ago, the last time I cried was November of 1988, almost 23 years ago.

If you are wondering if I am on very much of a HRT dose, Melissa42013 can verify that I am on a "full transition dose."   

It took maybe four months into hrt until I could have a good cry when I needed it. Before starting hrt it had been a couple of years since I really cried. I would always tear up at movies but couldn't cry. Now getting close to nine months I feel like I'm getting a little more emotional and cry a couple of times a week now.

I probably started a month or two into the HRT but that was in large part because of the difficulty in my relationship with my wife due to starting HRT and her having a lingering case of post pardum depression. During that time I got to experience some of the deep uncontrollable female tear sessions.

What I thought was kind of cool is that after it was over I kind of felt a little better.

I hadn't really cried other than tears at a movie or funeral and this was definately different.

3 months before I got teary-eyed. Then during my 4th month, when people at work found out I was allowed to use the womens bathrooms, there was such an uproar among my co-workers, that I was pretty devastated. I was sad, depressed and so very angry at them. They didn't care that I changed my name, looked feminine, took hormones. But when it came to the rest rooms then it was an issue. I sat outside in a break area after work crying my heart out with my best friend trying to console me. I had not cried like that in so many years. By Monday I  still was feeling miserable. On Tuesday, one of my co-workers came to me with a purple envelope. She said " I know you are busy, but I think you need this."
She smiled and walked back to do what she was doing before. The envelope had my name on it. And it was spelled correctly. Inside was a 'congratulations' card. It was signed be several co-workers. And I cried again. This time it was tears of joy. But the first 2 months I was on half the dosage of estradiol than I am now. 

Quote from: Keaira on July 11, 2011, 06:13:16 PM
The envelope had my name on it. And it was spelled correctly. Inside was a 'congratulations' card. It was signed be several co-workers. And I cried again.

Awww! Thats sweet.
Like... you gotta be mad at them for making such a fuss in the first place, but at least they realized their mistake and tried to make amends.

To answer the OP, it was 6 months for me. But honestly I think I would have cried regardless. I was behind on my quota and the situation called for it pretty badly.
By "quota" I mean... the number of cries per year on average sort of thing. I haven't been on HRT long enough to really be able to tell, but so far the average hasn't changed, higher or lower.

  A real cry, not as yet, in nearly 8 months on HRT.  I cried when I found a few things really funny, after laughing so hard.  That never happened before.  I been through a lot in my 58 years, I cried when I was bullied as a kid but I gotten somewhat cold on myself after that time.  But things are thawing, probably do the crying out of the blue soon.  There's hope for this reborn human.  HRT, for me is an antidepressant that actually works!
  Joelene

Quote from: HitOrMiss. on July 11, 2011, 09:45:43 PM
Awww! Thats sweet.
Like... you gotta be mad at them for making such a fuss in the first place, but at least they realized their mistake and tried to make amends.

I dont think they were the ones who had a problem. If anything I would say that if it came down to it, they would stand by me.
here's the card though

I was not going to get into that, but since I'm right now crying yet again --- so why not. Just read some touching chick-lit...

From the very start of transition (post epiphany) I cried and cried and cried. It was some sort of a morning exercise almost. Should I say ridiculous?

It actually NEVER feel ridiculous when crying but surely would seem so at times to others? In any case it makes no difference. What is, is.

So, some 3 month before even starting on HRT proper (was on phyto-hormones before) I had well been practicing my tear ducts, eh.

Later on into HRT this slowed a bit down but still. Reading a book, or relating some emotional stuff, there was and often still is just NO WAY to stop it. It can start at the drop of  a hat (even a coffee ad? :-)

I'm now well into my second year HRT and there are always these unexpected blow-outs. It is quite unpredictable to say the least. It just comes from deep down and rises to the top. Sometimes real fast, sometimes it takes it's time.

On an average I guess I have a cry just about every second or third day. Since I'm pre-op, GID can really still take it out of me, as it just did once again only this morning.
Yet I always seem to know it will pass like a rain squall out at sea...

So yeah, no problem with my water-works that's for sure :-)
I was born this way, I know...
Axelle

Crying?  What's that?

I have the occasional sad moments where I feel like crying but rarely do I actually cry.  Not crying has been sufficiently drilled into my head.  But in no way am I jealous of those who cry easily.

Quote from: Julie Marie on July 12, 2011, 08:42:31 AM
Crying?  What's that?

I have the occasional sad moments where I feel like crying but rarely do I actually cry.  Not crying has been sufficiently drilled into my head.  But in no way am I jealous of those who cry easily.

Thanks for your replies, everyone. I agree with Julie Marie that for the most part, I am not jealous of those that cry easily. Especially since I am not full time and won't be for a while, I don't need to be crying at work or watching TV with my wife who has not seen me cry in 19 years of marriage. I guess the biggest thing is those voices of self doubt that say "girls cry. all the trans girls cry but you dont..."

Oh well, it's not like not cring is going to cause me not to pass. I'm sure I'm alot better off being emotionally stable through all of this.

This enquiry is of course jolly one-sided --- have you noticed?

The point: I ALSO LAUGH A LOT MORE!
The one goes with the other. I can now really enjoy things that I just would not have connected too - ever.
A girlie thing I guess. So long we laugh more than we cry - enjoy happy-tears, and some sad-tears --- if we can make up afterwards, um :-)

Axelle

I know I am finally at peace. I don't have that nagging feeling that something is wrong with me anymore. If crying when I am happy or sad is a side effect, I am more than happy to deal with it. It's emotional freedom. When I feel happy, it's so much more so than before HRT.

Quote from: Axelle on July 12, 2011, 11:12:44 AM
This enquiry is of course jolly one-sided --- have you noticed?

The point: I ALSO LAUGH A LOT MORE!
The one goes with the other. I can now really enjoy things that I just would not have connected too - ever.
A girlie thing I guess. So long we laugh more than we cry - enjoy happy-tears, and some sad-tears --- if we can make up afterwards, um :-)

Axelle

I agree with this completely. I smile and laugh more than I have since..... Well, more than I ever have in my whole life. I am able to find humor in the difficult parts of my life. I wouldn't trade the crying and the laughter for anything.

Quote from: Keaira on July 12, 2011, 11:34:53 AM
It's emotional freedom.

That is one of the aspects that men in our society really get shafted. Men are so limited in the acceptable range of expressable emotions.

Got to say, most females (gg and tg) don't like men to be THAT expressive (teary) either.
Think about it! A man goes off into tears and the first thing is... oh, is he maybe queer, a softy?

Ok, it MAY be a cultural thing: "men don't cry", yet I'm not all that convinced actually.

Women want this rugged (mostly) pillar of support and strength, shedding tears doesn't go so well with it.
Glad to be a girl, at least for my constitution I'm ok now at least.

Gotta give those guys a break, no? :-)

Axelle

Crying? I'm crying now looking at Keaira's photos of the card she received.

Quote from: Renate on July 13, 2011, 10:33:26 AM
Crying? I'm crying now looking at Keaira's photos of the card she received.

*hugs*
Aww. I keep that card and another one with me at work. When I have doubts or feel down, that card makes it all go away. I really dont think they know just how much that gesture meant to me and how important to me it is now. I mean my Transition has been an extremely public one. People thought I was on HRT before I even started. Then when I did, somehow everyone at work knew. Then when I took a 4-day weekend, they thought I had had SRS. I should have rolled with that one I guess. But now I am old news. thank god! lol

I've always been quick to tear up.  But as that's generally not acceptable for most guys I'd learned how to choke them back down and not release the tears.   They'd well up on the lower lid and I could blink them away and in a few moments suppressed the emotion and moved on as it if it never happened.   After being on HRT for a little under 3 months I'd found it harder and harder to choke them back and even then a few tears will still escape. 

The other day I was talking to my mom about the last couple of months of my dads life before cancer took him.  Before I'd get choked up but could still talk.  This time though I was a bawling mess, I just couldn't stop the flood.  All the repressed feelings I'd held at bay finally had a release.  I did feel better after for the good cry.

Even before HRT, my emotional floodgates were wide open, so I knew I was probably in trouble when I started taking hormones.  Biggest problem I had was that spiro didn't work at all for me and so my doc switched me to depo provera, which I now know caused severe depression to the point that I cried uncontrollably for four to eight hours a day.  That started about four months after I began HRT.  Three months of it is all I could take before I asked for an antidepressant.  Now, after taking the antidepressant for a week, my crying is finally coming under control.

In September, I'm asking my doc if there are any other AA options.