Any other straight girlfriend's who are in a relationship with a FtM? My gf is straight and she needs to see other people who are like her, she's having trouble going through this kind of thing, especially since she's been straight all her life but she's in a relationship with me who is FtM. She says that she has rarely seen a straight gf with an FtM before. I just want her to have an ease of mind about it since she's usually worried or stressed over it.

Someone else just posted a very similar thread -

Hmmm, I'm surprised to hear this. (I, too am a straight gf of an FtM.)

I think we are very numerous, but maybe not as obvious or visible. My bf is semi-stealth, long-ago transitioned, and no longer much cares to go to trans/LGBT events, for his own reasons. To the world we look exactly like every other heterosexual couple. There are thousands of couples just like us. We are maybe not as noticeable simply because we blend in to straight society, and we might be past the stage where we show up to trans support groups, social events, etc. (Personally I would like to be more "out" as a trans ally, because I am kind of a political person, drawn to activism. But I hold back on that where necessary, because my partner does not want me to out him left and right.)

FtMs who are much earlier along in their transition process may be more likely to have a lesbian (or maybe bi/pansexual) girlfriend, who was with him before transition and has decided to stick with him/his transition because she is still in love, even if being with a man is not her (primary) identification/orientation. They (lesbian gf's) are more likely to be ushering their man through transition, whereas we straight women might not show up till after the transition has happened. Therefore, in my experience anyway, the in-person or online support circles catering to mostly still-transitioning FtMs and/or their SOs, may tend to have more lesbian SOs than straight SOs.

I wonder though, is there something else behind her question? Is she questioning her sexuality, afraid of how she might be perceived, wondering if she is suddenly supposed to identify with the LGB community more, asking herself if she/you want to be out to her friends or family, experiencing some internal homo- or transphobia she wishes she did not have...Lots of possibilities here. A lot of us go through these issues.

Warmly,
Elizabeth

I am the fiance' of a fully transitioned FtM, and I've always considered myself a straight female, and I don't see myself as anything different after finding out that my fiance' is FtM. He was transitioned before I met him so when I met him I never thought twice, I always saw him as the man that he is and will always be. The only reason I found out the way I did, was because his God awful mother used his birth name in front of me to try to catch me off guard and hurt me and to see how I'd react to it. Needless to say, we're getting married next year so her plan didn't work. After I found out I was a little shocked, honestly it wasn't ever anything that crossed my mind, I was a little upset and hurt and took a little time to think things over, but then I realized that I have never met someone more perfect for me, and being Ftm doesn't make him any less of a man then any other man in my life. We've been together for a little over 2 and half years, and I honestly wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world.

So yes, there are other straight girlfriends and fiance's of FtM men and it can and does work out. If she needs any support we're here for her.

I signed up just to reply to Jessi. I'm glad to read that there are straight women out there that would consider dating or marrying a ftm. as well as, not feeling that their ftm is inadequate as a boyfriend/husband.  Well before I transitioned, I was always drawn to straight women, but looked for a partner within the lesbian community because others cannot see how I see myself on the inside.  A definite clash to say the least.  Now that I am 4 year's transitioned, and feeling more and more confidant within this body in social settings, women are flirting with me but I never respond (e.g. smiling  etc) because I worry greatly that straight women would never consider a ftm.  And I worry about when is the best time to "drop the bomb" with a prospective girlfriend.  I don't want to be considered a liar for not saying early enough, but saying it too early requires that I actually see myself different that other cis-males, and I do not. personally it only matter for me to "drop the bomb" if she is considering an intimate relationship.