I'm slowly asking some friends to call me Darrin instead of my given name. My therapist encourages me to go by my male name in public when introducing myself to
strangers. Today, while in the grocery store, a friendly clerk asked me what my name was so he could address me by name since he's seen me so often. I hesitated and
gave him my female name. I don't pass very well at all and would feel weird giving my preferred name. I'm pre T and pre op. What do you guys do if you don't pass well?

Your name is your right. Exercise it.

I chose to have a "transitional" name.
A name for before I am able to pass.
My "transitional" name is Richie.
It seems unisex, and people don't seem confused when I tell them it's my name.
I won't be using my masculine name until I have had my top surgery.

I am pre everything and I give out Robert as my name .... my wife said she noticed a shift and confidence once I started believing the world should see me as the male I am more folks did

Quote from: Robert Scott on July 14, 2011, 09:48:10 AM
I am pre everything and I give out Robert as my name .... my wife said she noticed a shift and confidence once I started believing the world should see me as the male I am more folks did

My therapist said the same thing. He thinks I should correct people when I get mam'ed. He said people will apologize and stuff. I should start doing it more maybe. Thanks!

I'm only a month on T, don't stand a hope in hell of passing for a long time yet, and I had my name legally changed to Maximillian ten months ago. Sometimes people look at me a bit weird when they go 'Max, that must be short for Maxine?' and I go 'No, Maximillian actually', but I just shrug it off. It's good to just have a quick off-hand remark you can say about it to brush people off, mine is 'my parents are weird'. Simple and to the point, and it stops them from questioning you.

There are a lot of guys out there with feminine names, and a lot of women with masculine ones. While it might seem like it's such a hard thing for people to accept when you tell them a name that seems the opposite gender to you, most people won't give it a second thought.

I was with my granddad at these campgrounds earlier in the month, and I ended up losing my glasses for a while. I really don't pass without them at all. XD Still, though, when a bunch of kids showed up for this reunion that was going on, when they asked me to hang out with them, I gave them my male name. Not the short androgynous version, and not my given name (it nasties me out too much). They were shocked and said I looked really girly, and I just laughed and said I got that a lot. (One little kid asked me if I was born a girl. They're getting sharper by the moment. )

If it makes you feel more comfortable, you could try an androgynous name, maybe a form of your middle name. Darrin doesn't seem easy to make unisex, hahaa. Although I agree with Renate, it's your right to go by your name. If people find it weird, oh well. It could give you a nice confidence boost. (I always found giving my actual name as making me pass instantly if I didn't before, despite voice and face. -shrug-)

I go with my preferred name. People don't question it or go "But what's your real name?", at least not so I can see it (maybe they talk behind my back a bit, but whatever). I don't pass at all due to weird walking style (fallen arches and broad hips, plus I don't move my arms, so instead of putting the "swing" in the shoulders like most guys, I have to put the "swing" in the hips and it looks exaggerated-girly), high voice, etc. Despite this, people have been very nice when I've told them my preferred name. I started doing it when at a friend's birthday party, the friend knew I was a guy but not the other guests. None of them cared either. Before this happened, I would give out my female name because I was afraid of how people would react (laugh at me, ask me what my real name was, call me nasty things, etc), but now I don't care. If they wanna gawk, they can gawk. If they wanna gossip, they can gossip. I am me and I won't stop being me.

when in doubt, like really in doubt, say your name is taylor

You may "pass" better than you think you do. We are often our own worst critics.

If you don't want to be called by your birth name, claim what you want.
Strangers are great for practice.