Hey there,

I'm Nick and I am a young FtM trangender (if you couldn't tell by the title  )
I have always felt a little different from everyone else. Girl wise, anyway. I always wanted to play with action figures and toy guns, but was forced into the binary of female activities and interests. Now thankfully my mother never made me a girly girl. I never wore dresses (except at weddings... worn a dress 3 times in my life) and was always into t shirts and pants. Simple sh**.
Around 6th grade I questioned my sexuality, and then realized I was bisexual but didn't tell anyone until 8th grade.
At that same 6th grade time frame, I remember getting a modified "bob" hair cut. The hair lady buzzed the back of my head with a, you guessed it, buzzer. It felt.. so.. right. I loved it so much. SO MUCH. It felt like the best thing and made me feel so manly on the inside. (I added this after I added what's below so expect a topic skip)
Once I had outed my sexuality, I began questioning why I felt so damn masculine and tried outdoing myself with things like tighter shirts (don't look good when you're fat  ) and little things like lip gloss to chorus concerts. I thought I would outgrow this masculine feeling and thought it was normal. A few months into 8th grade I began researching this feeling and came across labels like genderqueer and transgender (etc). I thought this matched me- but kept it to myself.  During the summer of 8th into 9th grade I watched my favorite stupid-teen-drama series, Degrassi (at that time it was the Boiling Point). I saw the episodes of Adam and how he was outed and what he went through in the morning regarding binding. I had always hated these things on my chest and tried what he tried, an ace bandage. I loved the effect it did- it flattened me. I didn't think that was possible- to flatten these chesticals- but I did!
I kept doing research until I finally had an understanding of what I am- transgender.
After coming out to my mom as bi in January 2011 I came out to her as transgender with my therapist in April 2011. As of right now, she does not know I am bisexual (I guess I retracted it) and thinks I like girls only. That's fine with me because the only time I like guys is when watching porn. Don't judge me.
As for FtM stuff,
I will get into things like BINDING, PACKING, StPING, and such... All of which my mom is currently unaware of!
ALSO, I am moving within a few days and am starting a new high school this September. I am scared sh**less because I don't know how things will go regarding living stealth. At my old school I was outed by a Youtube leak on my facebook and soon the whole school knew (basically). They then soon found my packer videos etc on my old youtube so I deleted that account and my new one is Nick19Ftm. Anyway I just got off track. What I was saying is at my old school I used the nurse's bathroom for gym changing and for, lack of better term, bathroom use.
Although my mom has let me cut my hair and dress as I wish, she does not fully support me and still calls me my birthname and female pronouns. I am working on it with her btu hopefully when I see a gender therapist he will talk to her about it.

Ok, I hope this wasn't confusing to anyone seeing as I babbled a sh**load but whatever. I will continue posting hopefully... I don't have my webcam atm because I am moving like I said and it is already in my new house. I won't be able to bring my laptop because my damn soon to be ex stepdad is taking it because we are taking the desktop... Yeah...
OK ILL SHUT UP NOW.
PEACE

Hi, Nick. Sounds like you've got a lot going on. I hope your new school works out.

A lot of parents take some time to come around, but I know of some very resistant parents who became their children's strongest allies.

Sounds like you're on a good path now. Hang in there.

Nick, you sound like you were/are in a similar situation to me I came out to my parents and started to transition at the beginning of last year. At that time I moved schools (halfway through the school year) as well, hoping to go to my new school as male. When I enrolled, they had forms to fill out and fortunately they had a "preferred name" section! Maybe when you start at your new school that will be the case also?  I had mentioned nothing about male pronouns however, so on my first day I was nervous and didn't really know what to expect. It turned out that I was worrying over nothing! Everyone just looked at me and thought for themselves. I was called "he" and "him" all day. I came out to my principle a month or two later just to make sure the teachers understood but even they were able to work it out

I have been going to that school for a year now and since then I have not had any problems! Just a few close calls instead  As far as gym goes, at my school we have a school uniform and you don't have to change (plus I dont do it anyway). So Im not sure what you could do here.

People dont notice things as much as you would think however, and you being trans will probably be the last thing on someone's mind! Talking to your teachers or principle before you start at the school to explain your situation might be a good idea? You can talk about bathrooms and stuff too at this point. Im not so sure what school in America is like, but in Australia its pretty laid back. If you pass, maybe you can go with the flow?

As far as parents go, it might take a while  Transitioning is hard for them as well, they might need a little time to come around even tho its annoying  My mum and dad dont use male pronouns yet either, which sucks because I cant invite home friends that I am stealth to. They will sometimes use my prefered name, so at least they are trying. But good luck with everything!

Quote from: harlee on July 12, 2011, 03:52:56 AMMy mum and dad dont use male pronouns yet either, which sucks because I cant invite home friends that I am stealth to. They will sometimes use my prefered name, so at least they are trying. But good luck with everything!

That's bloody inconvenient--you could be outed to your whole school just because of one silly pronoun mistake.

I guess that's why I don't like to mix my trans friends with my non-trans friends. Not because of pronouns but because trans friends WILL forget that I'm stealth, and they WILL start talking about trans stuff, and they could easily say something that makes it clear that I'm trans, too.

One of my best buddies walked me home the other day after we hung out, and we stood at my front door for a couple of minutes, talking. I live next to a sort of redneck, yet my friend was obliviously saying "trans" this and "trans" that. When I'm in public, I used coded terms like "t folks" (which might not be so coded, but I try) and "our friends" and "people in our community." But I couldn't very well say out loud, "You know my neighbor is a redneck, right?" And I thought it was better to just let him talk than to get all paranoid about it and draw further attention to myself. I still don't know if that was the best course of action.

Parents who aren't acclimated yet--that's a whole new ballgame. Urkh.

Quote from: harlee on July 12, 2011, 03:52:56 AM
Nick, you sound like you were/are in a similar situation to me I came out to my parents and started to transition at the beginning of last year. At that time I moved schools (halfway through the school year) as well, hoping to go to my new school as male. When I enrolled, they had forms to fill out and fortunately they had a "preferred name" section! Maybe when you start at your new school that will be the case also?  I had mentioned nothing about male pronouns however, so on my first day I was nervous and didn't really know what to expect. It turned out that I was worrying over nothing! Everyone just looked at me and thought for themselves. I was called "he" and "him" all day. I came out to my principle a month or two later just to make sure the teachers understood but even they were able to work it out

I have been going to that school for a year now and since then I have not had any problems! Just a few close calls instead  As far as gym goes, at my school we have a school uniform and you don't have to change (plus I dont do it anyway). So Im not sure what you could do here.

People dont notice things as much as you would think however, and you being trans will probably be the last thing on someone's mind! Talking to your teachers or principle before you start at the school to explain your situation might be a good idea? You can talk about bathrooms and stuff too at this point. Im not so sure what school in America is like, but in Australia its pretty laid back. If you pass, maybe you can go with the flow?

As far as parents go, it might take a while  Transitioning is hard for them as well, they might need a little time to come around even tho its annoying  My mum and dad dont use male pronouns yet either, which sucks because I cant invite home friends that I am stealth to. They will sometimes use my prefered name, so at least they are trying. But good luck with everything!

w00t for stuff in common dude lol
as for bathrooms, if anything I can tell them if I am allowed to I will use the guys bathroom- I have an stp lol
yeah, it's good your parents are trying.. my mom.. not so much lol. I'm working on it though........ I'm working on it :p

Quote from: NickMazzam on July 12, 2011, 12:14:37 AM
Hey there,

I'm Nick and I am a young FtM trangender (if you couldn't tell by the title  )
I have always felt a little different from everyone else. Girl wise, anyway. I always wanted to play with action figures and toy guns, but was forced into the binary of female activities and interests. Now thankfully my mother never made me a girly girl. I never wore dresses (except at weddings... worn a dress 3 times in my life) and was always into t shirts and pants. Simple sh**.
Around 6th grade I questioned my sexuality, and then realized I was bisexual but didn't tell anyone until 8th grade.
At that same 6th grade time frame, I remember getting a modified "bob" hair cut. The hair lady buzzed the back of my head with a, you guessed it, buzzer. It felt.. so.. right. I loved it so much. SO MUCH. It felt like the best thing and made me feel so manly on the inside. (I added this after I added what's below so expect a topic skip)
Once I had outed my sexuality, I began questioning why I felt so damn masculine and tried outdoing myself with things like tighter shirts (don't look good when you're fat  ) and little things like lip gloss to chorus concerts. I thought I would outgrow this masculine feeling and thought it was normal. A few months into 8th grade I began researching this feeling and came across labels like genderqueer and transgender (etc). I thought this matched me- but kept it to myself.  During the summer of 8th into 9th grade I watched my favorite stupid-teen-drama series, Degrassi (at that time it was the Boiling Point). I saw the episodes of Adam and how he was outed and what he went through in the morning regarding binding. I had always hated these things on my chest and tried what he tried, an ace bandage. I loved the effect it did- it flattened me. I didn't think that was possible- to flatten these chesticals- but I did!
I kept doing research until I finally had an understanding of what I am- transgender.
After coming out to my mom as bi in January 2011 I came out to her as transgender with my therapist in April 2011. As of right now, she does not know I am bisexual (I guess I retracted it) and thinks I like girls only. That's fine with me because the only time I like guys is when watching porn. Don't judge me.
As for FtM stuff,
I will get into things like BINDING, PACKING, StPING, and such... All of which my mom is currently unaware of!
ALSO, I am moving within a few days and am starting a new high school this September. I am scared sh**less because I don't know how things will go regarding living stealth. At my old school I was outed by a Youtube leak on my facebook and soon the whole school knew (basically). They then soon found my packer videos etc on my old youtube so I deleted that account and my new one is Nick19Ftm. Anyway I just got off track. What I was saying is at my old school I used the nurse's bathroom for gym changing and for, lack of better term, bathroom use.
Although my mom has let me cut my hair and dress as I wish, she does not fully support me and still calls me my birthname and female pronouns. I am working on it with her btu hopefully when I see a gender therapist he will talk to her about it.

Ok, I hope this wasn't confusing to anyone seeing as I babbled a sh**load but whatever. I will continue posting hopefully... I don't have my webcam atm because I am moving like I said and it is already in my new house. I won't be able to bring my laptop because my damn soon to be ex stepdad is taking it because we are taking the desktop... Yeah...
OK ILL SHUT UP NOW.
PEACE

i ended up keeping my laptop.
jussayn

hey Nick, keep your chin up things will get better. You are really brave to be honest with yourself and about yourself to your family. Keep it up brother, you are worth it! 

Quote from: Kerberos on July 19, 2011, 01:21:26 AM
hey Nick, keep your chin up things will get better. You are really brave to be honest with yourself and about yourself to your family. Keep it up brother, you are worth it! 

thanks man means alot

Hey Nick,

I'd recommend talking to your new school's counselor before starting. They can probably help you with talking to your principal and teachers and working out a Restroom and Gym situation. While I don't have personal experience with this, I know that had I done this in High School the counselor would've been the person to go to. It seems like you have a pretty good relationship with your mom, if anything you might want to be open with her about how the pronoun thing makes you feel. Explain that you want to be able to be yourself around people and your new friends and you'd like her help with it (as far as bringing new friends over). Teen years are tough but you'll find the older you get, even in high school, the more accepting and at least tolerant people are, especially in today's day and age.

Hang in there