My mom's initial reaction was more or less along the lines of "So?" I told her right after the ball dropped on new year's night, while we were drinking champagne and hanging out. I told her that this was part of why I'd hated myself so much, why I cut myself for years and all that crap. She was relieved to finally have a reason. We didn't really talk about it until a few days later, where we had a surprisingly funny little "Q & A " kind of thing. My mom's amazing.

I haven't told my dad yet, we're not really that close and I'm really kind of scared to. He always wanted a daughter, and I've never really be one. I'm scared at times that this'll be the final nail in the coffin.

I told my mother about a week before Christmas (the one before last) and she just kind of gave me this blank look and was like 'Okay.' I think she was in denial for a long time, she wouldn't talk about it with me at all for a couple of months, but when I told her I needed to make a doctors appointment she didn't complain or anything, just went ahead and made the arangements. I told my step-father a few weeks after that, and he seemed to be very understanding. He asked me a bunch of questions which I answered truthfully, and ended up saying, 'Okay, well if that's what you think you need to do. But we won't pay for any of it.' Lol, so I agreed that of course I'd be paying for everything transition related.

My father lives on the other side of the country, so I came out to him on one of my visits over there. I'm the only child he's ever had, and I've always been his 'little girl', so I thought he'd take it badly, but he just grinned and told me 'Well now I get the experience of having a girl, a boy, a straight child and a gay one' and said he was completely supportive. Everyone in my family knows now, and all seem to be supportive in their own way. No one would call me Max when I said I was going to change it, but the minute the paperwork was filed they all started trying, and a couple of weeks later my old name was all but eliminated from the family. I have a very clear memory of going to a fundraising event my sister was a part of the night my name change had been finalised, and she went to introduce me to some people and I had this sinking in my gut, only to have her say 'And this is Max.' When they'd left and she'd seen the shocked look on my face I remember her smiling and saying, 'Don't worry, Mum told me it was changed today, I've got you covered.'

It's been ten months since then, and everything has been pretty good. I had one massive blow up with my mother when I told her to stop calling me my puppy's 'mother', to date the only argument we've ever had about it, in which she told me, 'Well I'm sorry, but you're not a man yet, and I don't have to call you anything!' I was so upset, but a couple of days later she started cutting back on calling me his mother, and even eventually started calling me his father, and saying 'mr' instead of 'missy' when referring to me. Everyone else has slowly started following her lead and been using more male terms when referring to me.

At first my mother seemed very unsupportive, but now she seems to have no problem with it, and will even joke about it with my brother and I. I think sometimes parents just need some time to adjust, even if that takes months or even a few years.

Quote from: MaxAloysius on July 19, 2011, 02:11:03 AM
I had one massive blow up with my mother when I told her to stop calling me my puppy's 'mother',t

i cant tell my mom to not call me my petss dad just because i know it will hurt her... and i am glad to hear its all working out for you 

When I first told my mum, she was kinda confused and a little off her game.. After about 2 weeks, my aunt and uncle (who mum lives with) asked me what was going on with mum, as they'd noticed something was troubling her.. So I told them and they were understanding and accepting.. They were then able to bring the subject up with my mum and had a few conversations about, after which mum has been behind me 110%..

Well, I came out to my grandmother first, who is basically my parents. I wrote a letter, and her reaction was primarily confusion. Growing up in a small town in North Carolina didn't leave much options in the way of knowing about this sort of thing. But through some questions, talking with a therapist with me, when she knew what exactly what it was. She was completely accepting, a sort of "we thought you were a lesbian, but this makes complete sense now". She didn't want to tell the family herself, she felt I should. It took her a long time to get out of the habit of the female pronouns and habits, but generally she's amazing about it and everything.

My father called me for the first time since I was like 12, a couple years ago after I started T. He thought he was talking to my brother. I told him flat out what I was, because what he thinks of me has no affect on me what so ever. Apparently he's really accepting, not hesitating to call me by my name. He always likes to make random comments on how I "Look just like him". Unfortunately for him, I look more like my mother, but he can go run into a pole. Wow, this is a really bitter. Haha. I even changed my last name from his last name to my mother's maiden name. That pissed him off a bit. I enjoyed it.

Horribly.  Never knew my dad, but I told my my mom when I was about 14 and she freaked out running around the house yelling "You want to grow a penis!!!!" and then she drove off and didn't come back until about 3AM. No idea where she went or what she did.

When I was 15 she moved out to live with her boyfriend and I stayed with my grandparents. The distance helped our relationship some and over the years she seemed more accepting of the LGBT community so around 16 I tried coming out again. She acted like she had no clue and that I never told her before. In a nutshell her reaction was "That's gross! Why are you doing this to me!! God made you a girl!!!" She's barley religious and when I pointed that out she said "I don't care you should be a girl because that's how I tried to raise you."

Then, for a couple months she went threw a phase where she would always tell me I looked horrible and that I was dirty and smelled. I guess I looked really butch which to some people may be horrible, but I wasn't dirty and I didn't smell. I'm really hairy and I had stopped shaving from head to toe and started using mens deodorant. To her having body hair makes you dirty and not smelling like a woman's perfume meant that I smelled. She started buying me a ton of make up and lady products. There was a period where she would not leave me alone about not wearing a purse. According to her all women have to. She would buy them then bitch at me for being ungrateful and not using them or any of the other stuff she got.  She would say things like "Why wont you use a purse? Do you think it makes you more manly?" Eventually she dropped it all and went back to ignoring it.

Didn't bring it up again until last fall. She had called me and started yelling about it.  I made it clear to her that I was planning on transitioning after I become financially independent. So she said she would stop helping me pay for college. In her mind lacking a college degree would stop me from getting a job that pays enough to finance my transition. Then I would never transition. She also said she would talk every thing over with my step dad and they will decided if they are going to disown me. They did stop helping me pay for college, but they haven't disowned me. And to the best of my knowledge she never has mentioned me being transgender with my step dad. She is embarrassed by it so I don't think she is going to be bringing it up unless she feels she really has to. Her biggest fears are what all her friends will think. She also has some ->-bleeped-<-ed up idea that me being trans will some how cause her to loose custody of my baby sister if her and my step dad ever get divorced.

Currently we are back to ignoring everything. It's been about 9 months since the last time I mentioned anything trans related to her. I've decided not to bring it up unless she does. I'm still living with my grandparents and going to college. Working a minimum wage job, managed to save 2k so far. It is my goal to start T before the summer ends. Next semester I am taking all my classes online, figured it will make it easier if I wasn't stuck in a room full of people who have the potential to make things very awkward. As of now my plan is pretty poor. To explain the future doctor visits I'm just saying its for PCOS and blame the initial changes on PCOS. My grandparents aren't supportive, but I don't think they are going to kick me out. My grandma does know. I'm not sure if my grandfather has overheard or been told anything. My grandma has recently noticed how hairy I am. I have no idea how she's missed this, or why all of the sudden she is mentioning it. I'm guessing my mother mentioned it to her. The other day she said "You have hobbit feet!" She learned about hobbits from the Big Bang Theory. Then she said "Just because you are really hairy doesn't mean you need a sex change. Plenty of the women on the Italian side are hairy. Just get rid of it."  I guess at some point I mentioned that al t of FTMs have PCOS and she asked me why my cousin who has PCOS isn't trans.

My support system is currently a party of one. I did come out to a friend and he is the only one that knows. My grandma technically isn't supportive, but she will buy me mens clothing, deodorant, and what not. Her biggest concerns are how people will treat me and she is worried that I will end up more miserable. She has said things before along the lines of if I already looked like a man that she would be ok with it, but because I'm soooo pretty its a shame and horrible. I don't get how it goes from "People can't tell if your a man or a woman!" to "You're so beautiful!!"I think quite a few people assume I'm an MTF. I still go to work in lady mode and the other day a kid asked their mom if I was a man. I was even wearing a pink shirt. When my Grandma realizes I've started T I think she will freak at first, but after some changes and she realizes that it's possible for me to blend into and function within society she will come around.