Not to be sexist but it has been like that for me.....  Maybe you had a different experiences dont feel shy just share and vote to that always helps find out the average belief

IME girls/females/women are a lot more accepting to us TGs then are cismales.
It is one very big difference in deed, and I have a theory about it.

If cismales are not so secure in their sexuality (and many are NOT)  they get threatened by us by feeling possibly attracted and then get this fear of being gay --- OMG!
So to handle the situation they react offish and reject us.

It takes quite some time longer for THEM to feel OK with us.
I seen it over and again.

Best with them is, not to dress really sexy and be as natural as possible without getting dragged into their cismale "THING".
They initially tend to do this, more so if they knew us pre-transition, and then turn around and tell us that we just a guy in girls cloths, a perv or freak and such.

It can be tricky to maintain some cismales as friends, that's for sure.

Axelle

I have found myself a lot more comfortable coming out to girls also (and generally seek them as friends over males). Basically, if they see me as a guy... they probably see me as potentially attracted to them (so they are guarded, but generally friendly as women are). Me being gay or trans or anything else is probably just a relief for them from needing to have to keep their guard up and the natural sexual tension. If they see me as a guy, my joking around or being friendly or even just interest is probably seen as flirting (even if that isn't the first thing they think, they still would have it in the back of their mind).... but, once they realize I don't have any interest, they can relax. And, then the conversation can move from "a guy and girl talking" into "2 girls talking" , where we have lots in common (for example, I chat with girls a lot about diets and the "ohh I need to lose 10 pounds" thing... something I'm not sure many "guys" do or focus on....and definitely not chat about it with a girl their same age unless they are very close).

Now males on the other hand have the exact opposite issue. Once they find out I am more feminine (and date guys), suddenly me being "just a guy" turns into an uncomfortable "what if he is attracted to me?!" type of situation. Suddenly, my natural playfulness and joking nature goes from just funny and relaxed...into possibly "flirty". They realize they don't have as much as they thought in common with me. ..while I would go along with their jokes about women before, them knowing that I can't really relate suddenly turns those moments into a little more awkward. ((For example, I have a friend I was hanging out with before he knew I was trans. We were joking around and somehow we started talking about "how much would it cost for you to do ~insert whatever~" ... after some joking around, he asks how much it would cost for me to sleep with a guy! I replied with a much lower number than the "bazzillions of dollars!!!" type of answer a guy would normally give. At the time he just thought I was messing with him, but after I came out to him I was like "Uhhh yea, you asking me that was like me asking how much it would cost for you to sleep with a girl ").

Combine that with the fact that (like axelle posted) men are less secure in their sexuality, suddenly there is a potential for negative reaction or distancing themselves from me.

I haven't actually had many negative responses (the only negative one so far is from my father).... then again, I have been extremely careful about who I come out to and only have a handful of people so far that know.

Right now, if a girl asked me what was up... I would be honest and wouldn't mind telling them. If a guy asked me what was going on, I would be a bit more cautious and try to sort out what type of person / reaction he would have before revealing myself.

Quote from: LilKittyCatZoey on July 21, 2011, 11:16:16 AM
Not to be sexist but it has been like that for me.....  Maybe you had a different experiences dont feel shy just share and vote to that always helps find out the average belief

That's because guys are more observant. Girls don't usually read that we are TS but boys can see the difference more easily. But it's not a gender issue as to who is more excepting, some guys are excepting and some are not, some girls are excepting and some are not also!

Quote from: Rabbit on July 21, 2011, 12:04:31 PM
I have found myself a lot more comfortable coming out to girls also (and generally seek them as friends over males). Basically, if they see me as a guy... they probably see me as potentially attracted to them (so they are guarded, but generally friendly as women are). Me being gay or trans or anything else is probably just a relief for them from needing to have to keep their guard up and the natural sexual tension. If they see me as a guy, my joking around or being friendly or even just interest is probably seen as flirting (even if that isn't the first thing they think, they still would have it in the back of their mind).... but, once they realize I don't have any interest, they can relax. And, then the conversation can move from "a guy and girl talking" into "2 girls talking" , where we have lots in common (for example, I chat with girls a lot about diets and the "ohh I need to lose 10 pounds" thing... something I'm not sure many "guys" do or focus on....and definitely not chat about it with a girl their same age unless they are very close).

Now males on the other hand have the exact opposite issue. Once they find out I am more feminine (and date guys), suddenly me being "just a guy" turns into an uncomfortable "what if he is attracted to me?!" type of situation. Suddenly, my natural playfulness and joking nature goes from just funny and relaxed...into possibly "flirty". They realize they don't have as much as they thought in common with me. ..while I would go along with their jokes about women before, them knowing that I can't really relate suddenly turns those moments into a little more awkward. ((For example, I have a friend I was hanging out with before he knew I was trans. We were joking around and somehow we started talking about "how much would it cost for you to do ~insert whatever~" ... after some joking around, he asks how much it would cost for me to sleep with a guy! I replied with a much lower number than the "bazzillions of dollars!!!" type of answer a guy would normally give. At the time he just thought I was messing with him, but after I came out to him I was like "Uhhh yea, you asking me that was like me asking how much it would cost for you to sleep with a girl ").

Combine that with the fact that (like axelle posted) men are less secure in their sexuality, suddenly there is a potential for negative reaction or distancing themselves from me.

I haven't actually had many negative responses (the only negative one so far is from my father).... then again, I have been extremely careful about who I come out to and only have a handful of people so far that know.

Right now, if a girl asked me what was up... I would be honest and wouldn't mind telling them. If a guy asked me what was going on, I would be a bit more cautious and try to sort out what type of person / reaction he would have before revealing myself.

I  agree i mean their is a lot i did trying to be a boy which made me sad but yea. its amazing because my bff i can compliment her and tell her i love her and its just normal i can be me and not be flirting, that alone makes me feel like me  but on the other hand i had this amazing guy friend ever and so i decided to tell him it made him hit me and he hasnt talked to me since, he said i am gay and all those time we were so close now make him feel ill defo's for me boys lack understanding

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on July 21, 2011, 12:16:54 PM
That's because guys are more observant. Girls don't usually read that we are TS but boys can see the difference more easily. But it's not a gender issue as to who is more excepting, some guys are excepting and some are not, some girls are excepting and some are not also!

i have lost every guy i told but been accepted and now treated as a girl by every girl i have told. so for me girls are more understanding

Though, I personally have been pretty well accepted by both the men and women I have told thus far, the truth is, the way society at least works, men tend to be less accepting about things involving gender or sexual issues. Likely it is the insecurity of being forced to comply much more into a binary world than women are.

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on July 21, 2011, 12:16:54 PM
That's because guys are more observant. Girls don't usually read that we are TS but boys can see the difference more easily. But it's not a gender issue as to who is more excepting, some guys are excepting and some are not, some girls are excepting and some are not also!

I don't agree. I've found women to generally be much more observant than men.

Men are way more accepting in my opinion.

I don't have many girl friends because they all seem to be insecure and catty.

[$0.02]

Acceptance is a matter of understanding. Transitioning MtF at the workplace... the least accepting people are the guys (not that they aren't accepting - they've been real dears about the whole thing, and I truly appreciate how they've been). There are three of them, and for them, it's not that they don't wish me the best, but they just don't understand. They really like being men (something which I don't truly understand). On the other hand, the twenty+ women I work with are all accepting, and I imagine it's because they understand better - they really like being women, and they would be very unhappy with being mtf.

[/$0.02]

In my opinion, women are more diverse in their sexual orientation and taste than men, exactly the same way that women's fashion is more diverse than men's. Little girls tend to take care of others while boys play with toy weapons. In my experience, women tend to accomodate me while men try to analyze and understand me.

Barbie~~

Hmm, I haven't really noticed much difference.
I have one guy who calls me a ->-bleeped-<- and picks on me, and one girl who asks me every single day why I can't be a girl, what my identity is, etc. (I think she has a bad memory.)

It seems like girls are more likely to ask me in-depth questions about my identity and such (although some can be shallow) and most of them are good with it. Guys tend to not ask a lot of questions. For instance, I was walking by a crowd of people once after school, and they called out hi to me with my birthname, and I corrected them. One asked if I was a girl, I smirked and said no, then they called me over for more in-depth research. XD The girls asked a bit about trans-issues, whereas with the guys it was just, "I'm a guy, I was just born with a condition known as transsexualism that makes me look like a girl. I'm also gay." "Oh, okay man, that's cool. -fist bump-" Hahaa.

Although this has just been a general experience. I have had guys want to know in-depth about transgender things, and girls who don't ask a lot/focus way too much on sex. This, from a girl I liked --> "So, you don't have testicles?" "No." "Oooh! You wouldn't be able to get me pregnant, then! Awesome!" "o///o;;" 

In my experience, the only men who've been weird about me transitioning have in common that they have weird or unhealthy relationships with their mothers, so they're just uncomfortable with "losing me to the women's side". One of my ex-girlfriends did mourn me getting rid of my body fur, as she liked me furry . But mostly it's not about trans issues so much as it's just people in general being destabilised by change in general. It's true that women on the whole accept me wanting to "be" one of them, whereas men can't understand unless they have some of their own genderqueeriosity going on.

By the way, your poll is a bit wonky - I get how men/women can be neither more accepting than each other, but they can't be both more accepting than each other .

Quote from: Lisbeth on July 21, 2011, 12:35:22 PM
I don't agree. I've found women to generally be much more observant than men.

I agree.

If you are being 'read' by men then...

Actually I have had better luck with men than with women.

im not gonna vote cause im assuming its a poll for MTF's but just wanted to chime in what I have noticed as a trans guy.

I am more comfortable coming out to guys, although I pretty much live steath and i dont tell people anymore, but back when I needed to tell people, or they would just assume I was female, I always felt better telling guys. The way I see it, you tell a guy that you are FTM, they understand what its like to be a guy, they know why you want to "become"(thats how they see it) one.  but you tell a girl, sometimes I think they feel offended by it.

Quote from: Silas on July 21, 2011, 05:04:58 PM
The girls asked a bit about trans-issues, whereas with the guys it was just, "I'm a guy, I was just born with a condition known as transsexualism that makes me look like a girl. I'm also gay." "Oh, okay man, that's cool. -fist bump-" Hahaa.

ive noticed this too, except for once when a super brainless annoying gay guy kept asking if I had a penis and balls, and if I had had the surgery, he was so rude and dumb, i told him I only had testicles. he believed me lol, such an idiot

From my experiences, I would say that girls are, on average, more open than guys are. I think it has mostly to do with socialization.

Usually, when a girl harbors transmisogynstic feelings, it's because we make them feel insecure with their femininity. They think, "How dare that MAN even try to be as pretty/feminine as me?" It kind of shakes the very foundation on which they stand, so to speak. I find this to not be very common, and when girls harbor these types of feelings against trans womyn, I notice they are usually harboring lots of internalized misogyny.

It's a lot more complicated with guys. We make them feel insecure with their masculinity in a very big way. The reason why MTFs are so demonized by our culture at large is not only because their forsake their own masculinity, but also because they forsake the masculinity of straight men. The patriarchal society holds male heterosexuality to a sacred status. Men who are socialized into toxic masculinity are socialized to see womyn as a commodity that defines their machismo. The more the womyn meets patriachal beauty standards (thin, white, cisgender, conventionally feminine, etc.), the more "value" she has in terms of defining the man's machismo. If a womyn somehow fails to meet those beauty standards, she takes away some of his machismo. This is why overweight, non-white, butch, etc. womyn are so demonized. To put it from your stereotypical toxic masculine frat boy perspective: "Look at him, all the chicks he's scoring are ugly fat chicks. Something's wrong with him, he must be gay." When trans womyn are involved, it's a lot more extreme, because it's not that he MIGHT be gay, but rather, that he IS gay. From the toxic masculine perspective, being gay is the ultimate failure of machismo: gay men are unable to to objectify womyn into a commodity or object status, and are thus unable to live up to one of the central expectations of the toxic masculine gender role. This is why trans womyn inspire such intense fear and hatred among men who are heavily socialized into toxic masculinity. From their perspective, trans womyn "trick" them into being gay, and take away their valued toxic masculine status. The reason why hate crimes happen is because once that happens, the only way they can gain back that toxic masculine status is through violence.

Now, even though all men are exposed to toxic masculine socialization, there is a huge variation in how much they embrace it. There are plenty of men who see past all that BS and therefore are totally accepting of trans womyn. However, if you compare the extent to which men are expected to conform to toxic masculinity versus the extent to which womyn are expected to conform to toxic femininity, men are FAR more pressured to conform toxic masculinity. These differences in socialization are why I believe that girls are, on average, more accepting than guys.

Girls (woman) have seemed more accepting, certainly much less personally challenged by my sexual identity than boys (men). The males that have been confronted by my issue have fleetingly discussed it then move on rapidly, and perhaps achieving great distance as soon as possible, taking it as a personal challenge. Females are more communicative,  interested and supportive. I think female socialization does have something to do with it. Some individuals are ... well, individuals.

Susan Kay