I hate Gender Dysphoria. Because I am a boy in a girl's body and everybody knows this, it comes with a lot of comments that I don't want to hear.
Ever since 5th grade, I've had the body that all of the girls in my grade wanted, and in middle school, I always tried to hide it by wearing baggy clothes. I even dressed up as my favorite guy characters off TV shows I watched, and ostracized the fact that my body was physically female because I couldn't stand the idea of it (so, basically, denial.)
I remember constantly getting compliments from the girls in my grade, and they always wondered why I hid my body. It's really frustrating to hear "But you looked so pretty" or "You have such a nice body though" or "You're wasting your body".
If I cut my hair short as a girl, adults around me and others my age would compliment me. Now, however, if I get my hair cut, people stare and talk about me and how I "think I'm a boy" and what a freak I am.
It's frustrating to think that so many people think I'm a freak and now dislike me because I've decided to look like who I am on the inside.
I'm sick of my mom, who knows I'm trans, telling me that I'm such a pretty girl, that I will always look like a girl, that my life would be easier if I stayed a girl.
I don't want to be a pretty girl. I'm not a girl in the first place. I'm a guy.
This makes me hate being trans so much more, but I can't change it.
These comments make me feel guilty when I like how male I look, or pass completely as male without question, or even just flirt with a girl I'm interested in.
All I want is to be happy, and as long as I have gender dysphoria, I can't do that as female.
I'm sick of those "What's wrong with being a girl?" comments, as well. There's nothing wrong with being a girl, I'm just not one. And then the person accusing me of hating girls or something won't give up and one of my friends will step in to tell them to shut up and leave me alone, or they'll barge into the conversation with facts about transgender people. That's happened once before with one of my more knowledgeable friends.
I just had to rant.

Rant away.  We all feel like it from time to time.  Eventually you will be independent and will be able to do the things you need to do. Until then stay strong, and don't let them grind you down.

Karen.

Hey you saw Lee's before picture if he can do it so can you! Hang in there

I know what you mean,
im not even specially maculine, or look specially maculine.
and I feel like sinning on my famely..

since my mothers baby girl died, she always wanted a girl,
my brother always wanted a little sister, and I always listen to the norm of how perfect it where with both a guy and a girl (totally wonder famely)
-__-

i never felt much attachment to my own body. girls used to give me compliments all the time, many women still do. but it doesn't help me much if it only attracts girls who are unhappy with their own bodies and men who see me for my body only. i came to the conclusion that i'll simply look the way i feel like looking, what i do or don't do with my body is none of anybody else's business. those who are interested in me as a person usually realize quick enough that there is no girl inside this body, even if i do wear super feminine sexy clothes. so why even bother dressing up for those who don't care about the me inside? i'd rather mot try to look like something i'm not, then people won't be so confused when the inside and outside persons don't match

it's hard now, but will get better eventually you can do it.

Trite advice, but true: try to not let other people make you feel bad, take back the power to be proud of who you are and what you are doing.

Do you realize the title of this post contradicts what you say in your message?

I Would Be Better Off As A Girl would have been a better way to put it.  Since you never were a girl, going by what you said. 

Of course you wouldn't be better off as a girl because you are not one. 

To thine own self be true.    It was true when Polonius said it to his son, and it's true now.  You can only be you and being anyone else makes for a life not worth living.

I used to get complimented on my figure all the time and told that I had a nice body.
It go to me so much that after I got out of high school, I just started eating all the time.
I figured that if I had a fat blob body, nobody would tell me they liked my girlish figure or anything like that.
So I ate to become less attractive.
I didn't really want people to think of me as pretty or "girl sexy".

But now I'm all unhealthy and crap, so I've started to work out so I have muscle tone, and at least a little less blubber on me.

Quote from: Squirrel698 on July 21, 2011, 06:17:41 PM
Do you realize the title of this post contradicts what you say in your message?

I Would Be Better Off As A Girl would have been a better way to put it.  Since you never were a girl, going by what you said. 

Of course you wouldn't be better off as a girl because you are not one. 

To thine own self be true.    It was true when Polonius said it to his son, and it's true now.  You can only be you and being anyone else makes for a life not worth living.

I meant when I presented as female.

I can imagine how much that sucks.

For me, I always thought I made a cute - dare I say, pretty, guy - but a not so great looking girl lol. In grade school through high school I got ->-bleeped-<- from everyone. They made fun of me because I DIDN'T look like a girl! Of course that didn't bother me really because yeah, not a girl lol. My mom always tried to push me into wearing makeup and girlie clothes to "look more like a girl". So kind of the total opposite from your experience but I can still relate. Ya just gotta be yourself.

Quote from: riccirules on July 21, 2011, 06:25:29 PM
I used to get complimented on my figure all the time and told that I had a nice body.
It go to me so much that after I got out of high school, I just started eating all the time.
I figured that if I had a fat blob body, nobody would tell me they liked my girlish figure or anything like that.
So I ate to become less attractive.
I didn't really want people to think of me as pretty or "girl sexy".

But now I'm all unhealthy and crap, so I've started to work out so I have muscle tone, and at least a little less blubber on me.

Been there. Done that. Played the role of the "pretty girl" throughout high school, then got fed up with it at 18 and over the next 5 years managed to gain almost 100 lbs. Guys still hit on me when I was heavier, and people still told me I was pretty. T took care of all that pretty quickly

Devyn, you have to do your damnedest not to let these people's comments get to you. I'm older than I assume you are (I'm making the assumption you're still in high school; if I'm wrong, I apologize), and comments like that managed to make me hate myself as a transman for a very long time. The last thing you need is to build up some complex about being trans not because you have a problem with it personally, but because everyone else stating their problems have managed to make it your problem. Stay strong, dude; you know who you are.

This was me in high school.


I've changed a lot, as anyone who has seen a more current pic of me can attest to.
I should have begun to transition earlier, because (tooting my own horn now) I have a really nice bone structure, and it would have really worked in my favor.

But now I'm older and fatter, so I need to work a little harder to get where I want to be.
But it's all gravy.

Overall I was not an attractive woman.  There were times I made myself very presentable, but I was never hit on, I was never sought out for dates, nada.  I had a high forehead (still do) which I found highly unattractive on me as F.

I think I'm a much more adorable guy.  Nobody expects guys to be hot.  I'm much more comfortable as me.


Jay

Quote from: sneakersjay on July 22, 2011, 10:07:24 AM
Overall I was not an attractive woman.  There were times I made myself very presentable, but I was never hit on, I was never sought out for dates, nada.  I had a high forehead (still do) which I found highly unattractive on me as F.

i was a lot of this too, but for some reason i can't ever understand, the girls always gave me compliments. in the shower where it was evident that my bust was further developed than theirs.. but i have a feeling it might be my personality an inability to follow a girly fashion style that made me unattractive to boys around my age when i was still in school

Quote from: riccirules on July 21, 2011, 08:13:49 PM
This was me in high school.

Bit of a pretty boy there...lucky.

Me, I'm just ugly, either way.  I'd be ok as a girl with a bag over my head, but that's still ok when given the alternative, because all anyone's really concerned with are your tits.  If you've got them, they want them, so it's your duty to be a girl for them and let them at them.  Depending on their relation to you, it's dress up to show them off, have a grope, wish they could...whatever.  But as a girl, your body is public property.  So they get offended when you say you want to take it away from them.  Because they think it's *theirs*.

By saying you're a guy, you're saying your body is *yours*, and that you get to dictate what you wear and how much you show and how much you cover up, regardless of what they thought it was when they had you/met you/whatever.  So naturally, they will try and argue with you.

It doesn't stop if you're not pretty. 

People that want to just look at your chest will - not everyone looks at your face - and maybe to them, they'll think you're not too bad looking, but that doesn't mean that's how you want to relate to everyone, tits first.  Especially if you're a guy.

It doesn't matter if you're pretty.

There is no shortage of pretty people out there to fill in the "woman" spot in society.  It's highly unlikely that you were the last person-who-looks-like-a-girl in your community for other people to look at.  You weren't put on earth to decorate their world.  You were put here to be you.

@Kareil noone's ever ugly. never think about yourself like that. there is a saying in my country "you can't convert the good looks into milk" (i come from a livestock breeding country that is big on dairy, thus the saying). looks are just looks, it's always about how you feel inside.

I get the but you're so pretty or you look too much like a girl to ever pass, hormones won't change that, they all try telling me this. God, they're ignorant.

Quote from: Devyn on July 21, 2011, 04:17:02 AM

I'm sick of those "What's wrong with being a girl?" comments, as well. There's nothing wrong with being a girl, I'm just not one. And then the person accusing me of hating girls or something won't give up and one of my friends will step in to tell them to shut up and leave me alone, or they'll barge into the conversation with facts about transgender people. That's happened once before with one of my more knowledgeable friends.
I just had to rant.

I can relate to this so, so much. I'm sure a lot of people here can.

You shouldn't feel guilty about being happy with yourself, ever. To hell with everyone else. And I know, that's a LOT easier said then done and really lived, but it's something to shoot for. It's taken me years to not give a crap, and I'm still working on it. But seriously...nobody should feel guilty for being happy with themselves. Even if it's just something tiny. I've been there, too. I've had those days where I feel like I look great, and then some jackass screams "That's the wrong bathroom, lady" or BS like that.

Quote from: N.Chaos on July 24, 2011, 05:54:20 PM
I can relate to this so, so much. I'm sure a lot of people here can.

You shouldn't feel guilty about being happy with yourself, ever. To hell with everyone else. And I know, that's a LOT easier said then done and really lived, but it's something to shoot for. It's taken me years to not give a crap, and I'm still working on it. But seriously...nobody should feel guilty for being happy with themselves. Even if it's just something tiny. I've been there, too. I've had those days where I feel like I look great, and then some jackass screams "That's the wrong bathroom, lady" or BS like that.

This. I've kinda come into a time in my life where I'm ok with myself but there's just times where I want to go out and NOT have people call me lady, miss, ma'am or anything like that. It doesn't mean I'm not happy with myself if someone does, it's just a slight irritation and it makes me damn curious what all these people are seeing that just says female to them. The whole thing (my personal take on it at least) with not being "the right gender" is that there are loads more hoops to jump through, irritations to endure, etc. etc. than the so-called "regular" people never even gave a thought to. It seems it's pretty much a lifelong thing too. There are those that have transitioned and are living somewhat normal lives but they still have to take T, deal with health issues that regular guys don't, etc. No matter what path you're traveling, if you don't feel you have the right body (even a little bit) then there's just things you have to deal with. The more you realize that and get cozy with the fact that you are you, no matter how you present yourself, how other people treat you or how you physically look then the better off you are.