And you're exploring the same area that I am! I've already put a genderqueer character in one of my short stories and will be working with a longer novel-ish idea to have the main character deal with gender.
Though I don't know how to do it with taste.
You see, a lot of the focus of queer, or any art that is mentioned as part of a minority (african-american, female, queer, etc.) a lot of the time has that particular minority as a focus. This, to me, is a stage that many literatures go through. When a character appears and disappears and simply exists in a story, without explanation and without pandering, then I think a "minority" character is really a good thing.
Which is partially why I liked the movie Transamerica so much. While the transsexual aspect of the main character is undeniable, for much of the movie it is a Macguffin, completely irrelevant unless you really think about it in a specific way.
Both of these steps are important.
But I'm a lit geek, too. So write, then! Publish it, too. Even if it's on a blog it has an opportunity to be read and enjoyed and educate. Even if it's smut. Doesn't matter.
We're all going to die, and all that will remain are our creations. These are art, children, inventions, ideas, or anything else. Make a mark on the world. At least then we'll know your name.
And that is not odd at all. Heroes existed before they wrote about them, and many heroes will die forgotten, but without fighting and creating, then you don't even have a chance.
But that's just my opinion . . .
b/d