How does one who is so calm and non judgemental and mild get into Juvy?

You are much more forgiving than I am. I would not be friends with someone that killed other people just to get their goods, no matter how sweet they are. The devil is always nice.

One INCREDIBLY big misunderstanding...the things i did that were illegal were not harming in my mind, society just took them that way. And eventually the individuals involved took them that way, but in the moment I didn't perceive what I was doing as harming or exploitative, because I took everyone's feelings into account (at least my perception of those feelings). Had I known the full repercussions (not just for myself, but for all parties involved), I would never of done those things. But the legal system is very rigid, especially when they took what I did in terms of being "male". Hard to believe such a nice guy like me was charged with a 1st degree felony, 5 2nds, 1 Class A Misdemeanor, and 5 Class B's (As an adult I probably would of gotten a at least 50 years, if not a life sentence, possibly with no parole). That is precisely why I don't judge people based off of criminal history, because you never know the whole story.

And just a little side note, Diego never killed anyone to for material gain, at least from what I gathered. It was more of pressures from fellow gang members, drug influences (I think he was on meth), and a huge sense of not having any purpose. He didn't "choose" the gang life. Joined when he was seven, because his brothers and all his "bros" were that way. When he committed the crimes, he was only 14. Hardly able to think in terms of long-term consequences (both for himself, his victims, and the world at large). Of course he knew what he was doing wasn't good, but I don't think he understand the full repercussions of what he did. Should they just let him go free, because he is just a kid? Of course not. But how sad that he ruined not only his life, but the lives of his victims, their families, and his family all to fit in. God this world is just one massive conglomerate of f****d, don't you think?

What sort of things does someone do to get a 1st degree felony?

I looked online and all I could find was stuff like sexual exploitation of a minor, aggrivated assult, homicide in one case, delivery of a controlled substance. They are all pretty serious things.

Oh, I get it now, 1st degree means you are the person commiting the crime in question.

Some of my best friends are very, very "different" from me, and I can still be around them and be okay.

Congradulations, your normal.  That is the way of the world.

And a first degree felony is a big deal, not easy to get.  You ->-bleeped-<-ED UP BIG TIME.  And Diego, who killed other people, fark him too.  Scum is skimmed from the pond, as this should have been.  Let's hope he doesn't breed.

that's you're perspective, and I'm fine with that. My crimes were all caused by physical age differences, and there was no physical harm done. I've learned that a lot of our laws are meant to enforce morals, not law and order. The first degree felony I committed was called "rape", but to me this is a the a word that implies physical violence. The reason it was considered rape and not something else was because of a three year difference, there was no physical domination, not on my part. At the three year difference happened two years later, it would of not been a problem. Was what I did "right"? No, harm was done. But the same harm could of been commited, and possibly greater harm, in a more legal context. And I never tried to commit harm, it just happened. Had the event existed in different circumstances, harm would not have been done. There is an incredibly complex dynamic to these things. Had I been a physical girl, I really doubt any harm would of been done. The greatest harm done in my perspective had to do with my physical gender, not the actual act. I've come to my own understanding of what happened, as have all parties. Everything seemed to work out okay in the end, so I'm not too upset. If I could go back, wouldn't of happened. But I can't, so all I can do is come to terms with it.

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Post Merge: August 25, 2009, 08:36:41 PM

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Quote from: tekla on August 25, 2009, 08:17:48 PM
Some of my best friends are very, very "different" from me, and I can still be around them and be okay.

Congradulations, your normal.  That is the way of the world.

I don't claim to be superior in anyway, that wasn't the point in saying that. I have noticed that a lot of people can do this somewhat, but I've never met anyone that can do it to the degree I can. Are there people that can? I'm sure.

Wow  Heated Androgyne talk  Can we go back to kidding about with each other?

Lol, I'm not heated. Calm as can be

Another things I've notice, changing topics a bit, is when I get angry (unless I am really hurt emotionally, and it has to be really bad), most the time the anger is caused by an attitude that has an effect on the world as a whole, not me on a "personal" (it is personal to me, but not in regards to "myself") level.

Yet another thing, I've learned that getting angry at something doesn't change it. Getting angry that someone killed or raped someone doesn't change that it happened, so why get angry? Get angry never changes someone's viewpoint, so why get angry? Anger ALWAYS makes things worse, never better.

And yet another thing, I've learned people do EVERYTHING for themselves. Hitler killed Jews for himself, Jesus saved humanity for himself (If you buy into the Christian perspective). So who am I to judge that on a universal level? Hitler was very bad in my perspective. But Jesus caused a lot of harm, too, although not directly. Inquisitions, holy wars, etc. And who knows, maybe the holocaust of the Jews (and gypsies, invalids, and homosexuals) stopped a world-wide nuclear holocaust? This isn't too say would should say, "Oh, silly Hitler. Bad, bad Hitler. But it's okay", or not try and prevent such things from happening again. You can never tell the harm done by a single action. Because when you really think about it, that guy 500 years ago who stepped on a pesky spider had a part in the Holocaust, although indirectly. But that's just my perspective. The key to a happy life is just living in the "moment", IMO. Once you become attached to everything outside the moment, you begin to become very unhappy. The Buddha was onto something, I think...

I wasn't referring to you

You made a mistake. You paid for it. Lesson learned. Time to move on

Maybe we androgynes simply realize that most things that get people all stirred up are simply not worth getting excited about. It takes quite a bit to get me stirred up, I prefer to let most things slide off my back.

Funny story - my boss noticed that I wasn't getting all wound up at work when he thought I should be; he equated my level of apparent non-stress with my level of "concern". He later made some comments about my calmness to my coworkers; in his opinion I was too relaxed. And i'm one of the people in charge of making a vary large two year IT project work.

He has no idea that i've dealt with issues and projects far more stressful than this one

And in a calm state frankly it's easier to step back when needed and take the long view.

Differences are for idiots to find other people like themselves.  In reality I work with people who never graduated HS, and other who have masters of engineering from MIT, its all the same.  They either have your back, or they don't.  And if they don't, it don't matter who they are.  Ditto if they do.

We all love you dear, and we got your back when necessary

But sometimes the potty mouth personal attacks are a bit much

I just think of Tekla as our harsh mistress.

If someone doesn't poke you in the eye now and then, you might forget to be prepared for it.

Quote from: riven_one on August 25, 2009, 10:21:54 PM
Maybe we androgynes simply realize that most things that get people all stirred up are simply not worth getting excited about. It takes quite a bit to get me stirred up, I prefer to let most things slide off my back.

And in a calm state frankly it's easier to step back when needed and take the long view.

Amen. 

Quote from: Forum Admin on January 13, 2009, 07:09:31 PM
They're not really. I've learned a lot since posting this. Sometimes they're far less mild than they let on. And they tend feel strongly about the strangest things and seemingly out of nowhere.

What do the new folk think? Are you mild?

I'm totally mild today, the hot tub does that to you.

I have to admit that I didn't make it through this thread any further than the fourth page, I think it was, before jumping to the end to see what the new post was.  I'm glad I read as far as I did, though, as it rather sounds like me too.

I'm mild, sure.

Or rather, I'm really detached from my emotions.  A therapist I went to once said that it could be because I was separated from my mother at birth and kept from her for a little while because of health reasons (she had gotten really ill, if I recall correctly) and that that somehow created a detachment from myself.  Which makes sense to me in some ways because that really is how I feel most of the time, not really alive, just kinda there.  I was told that's why I was so attached to stuffed animals as a kid as well because I needed some sort of exterior thing to attach myself to (and I still do sleep with one >>: I luv my giraffe, haha.)  I don't know if that helps anyone else or not, though.

I find it interesting that you guys have been drawing a semi-link between this sort of emotional detachment and androgyny, though.  I wouldn't have ever tried to make that connection.  Aren't we supposed to be playful? XD

But yeah, I stuff down negative emotions, it takes a lot to ruffle my feathers, all of that.  I don't even cry around other people, I stubbornly hide my tears and oftentimes any sort of pain I'm experiencing, until I'm alone and just can let it out.  I don't want to hurt those around me and I always got yelled at whenever I expressed my frustrations when I was younger too, I think I've become quite the people-pleaser because of that until more recently when I've overcome that bit mostly.  Mostly.  I'm mostly a very logical person and have a hard time pinpointing what emotion I'm feeling sometimes, especially if it's negative (happiness is like... the easy one, duh, I'm laughing XD  but I often confuse fear and anger and grief).

I hate it when that time of the month comes along because the surge of estrogen messes this all up for me.  My thoughts spin wildly out of control and I end up yelling at people for the stupidest things.  Well, no, I end up yelling at my boyfriend for the stupidest things.  My stubbornness keeps my insanity from showing around almost everyone else, lol.

But yeah... mellow <3 lol

With an ECT and drugs, I went from a massively drugged out guy who spent more time in restaints than out. After the ECT, they changed my location and started a different drug regime. After 4 months of this I was tenetively released into a half-way sort of place, after another 3 months I was released to the fostercare home where I now have been for two yrs. About 4 months ago I started taking spiro. The effects on my mood started in just a couple days.

So after lots of drugs that numb your thinking, then shooting an abnormal amount of electrons through my brain tissue, and now on a far better med regime, I'm finally declared a non-threat and everything will stay the same as long as I want. I can live a normal life. That's when I started on the spiro.

So it is only recently that you could say I am a Androgyn with a sense of humor, or not. I don't think to many people around here think of me as mild mannered. But every day I have to at least check in here for a dose of attitude, that is more agreeable than anywhere else I have ever been.

Ativan

Quote from: sunny-side on July 23, 2011, 06:11:10 PM

I find it interesting that you guys have been drawing a semi-link between this sort of emotional detachment and androgyny, though.  I wouldn't have ever tried to make that connection.  Aren't we supposed to be playful? XD

We don't know what we are.

We're emotionally detached players.

Quote from: Pica Pica on July 24, 2011, 12:09:52 AM
We don't know what we are.

We really don't care what we are?