Susan's Place Logo

News:

Please be sure to review The Site terms of service, and rules to live by

Main Menu

Why Are Androgynes of Such a Mild Temperament?

Started by Nero, January 23, 2008, 07:17:19 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.


sunny-side

Quote from: i on July 23, 2011, 07:25:38 PMSo it is only recently that you could say I am a Androgyn with a sense of humor, or not. I don't think to many people around here think of me as mild mannered. But every day I have to at least check in here for a dose of attitude, that is more agreeable than anywhere else I have ever been.

Ativan
I like your attitude, though, Ativan.  Sometimes it startles me, but that just causes me to think about it more than just passing it over like "oh, that was nice."

Quote from: tekla on July 24, 2011, 12:11:57 AM
We're emotionally detached players.

LOL that works, I guess XD
  •  

caseyy

I'm mild, I suppose at some point I just decided that I can't win. :P
  •  

foosnark

When I was a kid, I got upset really easily.  I think I learned through embarrassment and low-grade bullying to hide that.

Through my 20s I'd get angry.  Not violent and nasty usually (though I might have punched a concrete wall once, ouch, and raising my voice wasn't uncommon), but frustration that boiled over.  At which point I'd often be upset for losing control, and switch over to embarrassment and crying.  Turns out that was at least partially a blood sugar issue, because once I started getting treated for diabetes I was a lot better.

I never wanted to hurt people or upset them or cause a disturbance.  That extends to not sharing my opinion in conversations if it disagrees (except in certain situations) or interrupting people or the like.  Sometimes it means I'm standing there listening to people being jerks about something that touches close to home and I just mentally make myself not part of it.

I still get teary-eyed at movies pretty easily.  I don't get ranting mad much though, not compared to my wife.  We can both hold the same opinion about something political and she will grind her teeth and rant about it for two hours.  I'll just think "that guy's an ass, why'd anyone vote for him?" and then think about something else.

If it weren't for anxiety I could claim to really be a calm, laid-back person.  But I'm always worrying about stuff even knowing I shouldn't.  In fact Friday morning I spent the whole drive to work upset because the new kitten was being a jerk, and somehow I translated his trying to play-fight with my toes (with painted nails) as a comment on my gender.  Yeah, the 17-ounce bully. :D  But it was amazingly hard to let go of that ridiculous feeling.
  •  

Pica Pica

I actually resurrected this post thinking that I am not all that mild in my temperament, but then I look around and other people in life and realise I probably am.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
  •  

ativan

Quote from: sunny-side on July 24, 2011, 02:22:08 AM
I like your attitude, though, Ativan.  Sometimes it startles me, but that just causes me to think about it more than just passing it over like "oh, that was nice."

LOL that works, I guess XD
I'm sorry if I startle you, I can't think of a specific thing that would cause that though. I suppose it could be an overall thing.
But, I do know that little kids just like to be around me. The sillier they get, the funner it is. I miss my girls being toddlers.
Little Lily, their granddaughter is here for the weekend. It just thrills me like nothing else when I can make her laugh and giggle
by doing silliy things like make faces and other dumb grown up things that grownups think little kids would find funny.

Detached is a defense mech. for sure. Instead of physically hurting someone, I now pray that there is a Jesus and he will take care of this awful person for me. Then I give a little thanks that I'm much better with the world than when I thought so much of it needed to be destroyed.
Not that I beleive in Jesus, as much as that moment of passing the buck, so to speak, allows me to feel better about me. And that it's not up to me to decide any longer.
  •  

Taka

i'm pretty detached from my own emotions. when i was a kid i cried easily, but then at some point i realized this won't get me anywhere, so i stopped crying. now i can usually only cry over a sad story or other people's tragedy

i find that i'm quite open minded, maybe even too much. i tend to pick up on other people's emotions, and they get to me, so i end up using my natural skills as a mediator whenever there's any sign of conflict. after turning 20 i got ever more cynical about the world, so i don't get shocked no matter what happens

now my family (i.e. parents) are the only ones who can get me riled up. i don't get how my mom can treat her own kids the way she some times does, so i say what i think about it, and because she's my mom i'll also take offense when i think she treats me unfairly. but other than that i couldn't care less, what other people think or say doesn't have anything to do with me, so there's no point getting offended over little details
  •  

Nemo

I used to get riled fairly easily, and Mum likes to remind me how stroppy I was as a teenager. Had mood swings, detachment, all sorts.

Then T happened. Mood swings stopped. Felt a lot calmer and happier.

Overall? I've just grown up and realised that getting wound up solves nothing. I still feel passionately about some issues, but in the main I prefer to let the upset slide off my back and deal with it rationally.


New blog in progress - when I conquer my writer's block :P
  •  

Jaimey

Quote from: Pica Pica on July 24, 2011, 09:34:21 AM
I actually resurrected this post thinking that I am not all that mild in my temperament, but then I look around and other people in life and realise I probably am.

It was other people that made me either realize I was mild or decide to be more mellow.  It was such a long time ago.  :)  But I watch people get so riled up about stupid things.  It takes a lot of energy to get angry and worked up.  I just figure it's better to save my energy for worthwhile causes.
If curiosity really killed the cat, I'd already be dead. :laugh:

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." GWC
  •  

RebeccaFog


I think we are mild because the Penguin sprayed us in the face with his nerve toxins. I'm pretty certain that this did happen to me.
  •  

Pica Pica

No, that was one penguin - at the zoo - and he was peeing, they were not nerve toxins.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
  •  

ativan

They do group together in cold icey snowey areas in large masses. How would we know if they are not production sites for toxins? The cold would help preserve them better. I have to go closely watch some penguin stuff on animal planet.
  •  

foosnark

Today I am an angry androgyne.

An organization I've been part of for 15 years (and was part of the leadership for a while) is going through what is probably a necessary change... but it's not going smoothly.  I'll spare the details, but essentially, some people who were a bit tangent to the group but had a kind of truce, are now being made to feel unwelcome.  It's probably partially intentional (because everyones' place is being challenged) but I think people are taking it harder than was originally meant.

Along comes this guy, never known for his tact but generally respectful in the past, and compares these people -- furries, otherkin, multiples etc. -- to LGBT folks and laiming that those people are making him feel insecure and marginalized *as a male heterosexual*.

I started to post, deleted it, started again, deleted that, and walked away from the computer.  Woke up this morning and decided I'd be wrong not to say something, came out about being androgyne and gave him both barrels.

And then I got dressed for work.  My pinkest, most oversized, most femme shirt (which is theoretically a mens' shirt, but it's mine so it's an androgyne's shirt). Both Old Spice and Secret.  Tough old jeans and stompy biker boots.  I felt like I was dressing for gender battle.

I love this shirt.  I've worn it only once, and that was to a feast during a weekend dedicated to Hethert (Hathor), the Egyptian goddess of femininity, love and joy.  (In Kemetic Orthodox terms, I'm "beloved of" Her, meaning my primary relationship is with a different deity but She is a big influence.)  At that time I was still identifying as male, but definitely knew something was going on.  I was influenced pretty heavily by that event actually.

Uh, anyway.  This is me in wrath:  I write a forum post telling people they can't be sexist and homophobic, and I dress nice.  Quake with fear, evildoers!
  •  

Pica Pica

'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
  •  

ativan

ya know, it would be really nice to say I have a mild temperment. I'm definetly better than a few yrs ago. Drugs and electric shock treatment can do that. Plus I made a huge effort to just be as mellow as I can. I know that the tarnished side of me still comes out, but it's with much more control and I can actually feel remorse for things I've said and done in the recent past.

It makes me think that people who just think something is wrong, and then find out they are Androgynes, well it brings a huge relief. It did for me and couldn't have happened at better time. I think that that is the root of mild temperament. You know more of where you are in relation to everything else. And you do'nt even have to work at it. You learn to trust it, trust others around you.

But, as for myself, I don't think of the term mild temperament applies as it does for everyone else. But, I'm always trying to work on it.
I can feel love rather than just knowing that it is there.

Ativan
  •  

Pica Pica

Well, not all males aggressive and females passive - these generalisations are only generalisations.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
  •  

Nero

I'm beginning to think I'm of a mild temperament. :D I'm a lot calmer and nicer on T. Or is it transition that did it? Or both?
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
  •  

foosnark

Quote from: Pica Pica on July 26, 2011, 09:14:35 AM


Exactly.  I wiggle my ears in fury!

It didn't occur to me before, but I'm wearing pink and blue.  Even my socks have blue stripes.  I'm accidentally more symbolic than I was trying to be.  Awesome. :)
  •  

ativan

Quote from: Forum Admin on July 26, 2011, 10:45:45 AM
I'm beginning to think I'm of a mild temperament. :D I'm a lot calmer and nicer on T. Or is it transition that did it? Or both?
you'd think it would make you more aggressive, but I've heard from several people that T seems to have mellowed them out.

And I cannot think of you as being anything but mellow.

Ativan
  •  

Pica Pica

Quote from: Forum Admin on July 26, 2011, 10:45:45 AM
I'm beginning to think I'm of a mild temperament.



An emotican just couldn't do the emotion justice.


Quote from: i on July 26, 2011, 11:45:32 AM
And I cannot think of you as being anything but mellow.

(s->-bleeped-<-)
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
  •