I wasn't sure where to put this; admins feel free to move this if appropriate.

I was wondering if anyone has the same experience I have with respect to nightmares. With some regularity, maybe once every other month or so, I have a nightmare with respect to being trans. The details differ from one dream to the next, but the overall theme is always the same. In these dreams I either have a penis, or it has grown back or something like that. Very traumatic, and in the dream I then think: I MUST get SRS. Then I wake up, realize I had SRS 17 years ago, feel very relieved and everything is fine.

Interestingly, as the years go by the penis in the dreams is gradually getting smaller.

The only psychological explanation I can think of for these dreams is that the girl that has always been inside of me was so traumatized from being male that it is coming out this way. The thing getting smaller might be a good sign that I am very slowly getting over it.

Any thoughts?

At first blush it sounds like 'phantom limb' syndrome

When people lose an arm or a leg, sometimes they still think they have it, and go to reach for something, or dream about it.

The same may happen to women who have GRS, she may dream about her former penis, etc.

It has benn posited that 60 to 80% of people who lose a lmb feel a 'phantom sensation:

Sherman, R. A.; Sherman, C. J.; Parker, L. (1984), "Chronic phantom and stump pain among American veterans: Results of a survey", Pain 18: 83–95

Off course GCS isn't quite the same as losing an arm or leg, however in some respects losing /  converting something that has been with someone so long could be a causal factor for the dreams you described.

Hi Jane

Before srs I had dreams and in that dreams I was a girl, fortunately nothing changed after srs.
I think it's a relief when you wake up and you notice that's everything is done allready.
Maybe it is just processing the past, in some periods of life we thinking more about the past and that has to find a way out.
That's the only explanation I can give to it.

hugs
Annette

Hey 14 yrs later i have those dreams every so often. However, now they are a bit confused since i am dressing a a FTM kinda guy but staying legally female and same female name. I wouldn't worry. I think its the evil one trying to screw with us. I had a weird one where pigs were trying to eat me.. like big old wild bores and i didn't want to go back to sleep. I think there are evil spirits that want to mess with us because they can't while were awake.. well they even try then but mentally i am too strong but they try ..

I can't say I've had bad dreams about being trans or reverting, but the "phantom limb" sensation has arisen since surgery. It generally is either the fast sharp pains of nerves dealing with the physical trauma of surgery, or, also I suspect the neurological reaction to the changes, reductions, removals and additions. A lot of these phantom feelings appear to be based a few inches out front, where there is no out front.    A lot of the plumbing remains though. I feel a little ridiculous scratching an itch where there's nothing to itch!

The good news is that your dream's phantom limb is reducing. Give it time and it will zero out, then go into negative territory, which will be a plus.

Susan Kay