So I have always had this problem with most of my male friends.

My body is male, my soul is female. They threat me as one of the guys and I get offended for reasons that to them are meaningless, but to me are not. Some of my male friends are fairly rude to each other, and they extend the gentlemanly behavior to me. This has been increasing I notice, now that I began HRT.. I am getting more picked on and hear more rude comments and, since HRT changed my feelings, I feel sensitive and offended more easily.

I can't give any clear examples right now, but I don't like being called a retard, or being greeted with a punch . What is worse is that they are fairly polite to other females. If I tell them to stop, they just laugh it out. Basically, I have no defense agains't this and I don't know what to do. I feel like crying.

Methinks it's time for some new friends. 

See if there are some interest-based groups (gaming, writing, art, etc.) or LGBT groups in your area for starters and try to meet up with a different group once a week. Introduce yourself as yourself, so they start out knowing you as a woman. As an FtM, I know it's been very refreshing for me to expand my circle to include people who call me "dude" and don't pull any of that just-us-girls stuff. See if you can find some new social circles. If they don't respect you for who you are, drop 'em like a bad habit.

Your "friends" sound like awful people in general.

Personally I never managed to have guy friends so I don't know, sorry I can't be of more help.

Maiara:

Are you out to them?
Are you fulltime (or at least partime while with them?)
Have you been long on HRT? Got changes?

If any of the answers is no, then dont complain (at least not yet)

And if you are already out and you are being you, then they ARE disrespecting you. But if they dont know anything how do you really expect a different treatment. After all you might have to realize that some that knew you as a guy will have a hard time to see you as a girl or will never do it.

Not only I have had changes due to HRT, I have outed myself in numerous ocasions both in purpose and by accident, though I am not full time. I don't expect a different threatment, I don't expect much. I just wish they wouldn't be rude.

There is pretty much absolutely nothing you can do about people disrespecting you the FIRST time.  The second time it happens is all your fault.

Tekla, such a smarty. :-) short and sweet, true to form, um.

Yes, it's up to you how much abuse you want to take. When the measure is full, you'll walk and incidentally so did I.

Young cis-males can be very gross and very crude. They can go and play with themselves for all I care.
I learned to walk away. It is very destructive to hang on just for that sort of punishment. AND BTW THEY WILL NOT CHANGE...
It is their male prerogative to behave like that amongst themselves. They know you from before and are not prepared to "transition" with you, and hell why should they?!
Also, they actually pissed-off because you "move to the other team" makes them feel inferior and they punish you. All this rude behaviour just is one male way to say f*ch you!

I got the cap and the t-shirt, nothing you can do about it.

Axelle

It's just how guys are. They aren't being rude, they are interacting the way guys do - insults, friendly punches, and lots of talk about sports. They never get into conversations about feelings with another guy but will cry on the shoulder of a beautiful woman at the drop of a hat if they think they will get laid. 

Your male friends will never treat you the same as they treat other women.  If you want to be treated like a woman by men, they can only know you as a woman.  You might find the exception, but it's rare.

Quote from: Maiara on July 26, 2011, 08:58:13 PM
So I have always had this problem with most of my male friends.

My body is male, my soul is female. They threat me as one of the guys and I get offended for reasons that to them are meaningless, but to me are not. Some of my male friends are fairly rude to each other, and they extend the gentlemanly behavior to me. This has been increasing I notice, now that I began HRT.. I am getting more picked on and hear more rude comments and, since HRT changed my feelings, I feel sensitive and offended more easily.

I can't give any clear examples right now, but I don't like being called a retard, or being greeted with a punch . What is worse is that they are fairly polite to other females. If I tell them to stop, they just laugh it out. Basically, I have no defense agains't this and I don't know what to do. I feel like crying.

Sounds like a normal day for and sweetie you must of realized at some point thats what gboys are like surely? Its hard to miss that if you want guy friends find the quite brainy ones they are so moronic and you can have a generally pleasing conversation with a single punch or insult. IN OTHER words get some real friends dont cling to bad things it will only leave you hurt!!!

@Tekla: Thanks for the sincerity! I appreciate it.
@all
Uhm... yeah.

The solution is simple enough! I'm sorry for going so dramatically over the top because of this.

When I wrote that yesterday I was feeling fairly hurt. I'm feeling better this morning and I have more of a clear picture of what to do and what is going on, thanks as well to the advice everyone gave me here. I'm guessing I will have to avoid them when possible. It is sometimes hard to not hang around them because we share the same workplaces at the hospital ( we are med students) and hence why I end up receiving friendly fire. Of course if I try to argue back I lose horribly!

I will take this as part of my transition and of second puberty. Thanks for all the good advice.

I was just thinking that another kind of step would be progressively less hanging out with them before flat-out dropping them.  It's just a benefit of the doubt thing S: Sorry if I'm a little too late on posting, and don't feel bad about the over-the-top-ness.  Having friends react badly is a pretty big deal. D:

(edit: add)

In less hanging out btw, it's a show of distance, so if they try to ask what's going on, instead of thinking of an excuse, just say that you don't feel like hanging out at the time.  If they want to know, it's because they hurt your feelings.  If they try to say anything about it, restate, they hurt your feelings...for pretty much every instance they try to insist it's not that bad of a thing.  If they talk about their own feelings, it's worth pointing out that they did it first despite knowing you're more sensitive.  But yeah, no need for anything elaborate, just be rediculously stubborn about it. x3

I had a dream about this, they were attacking you with a giant, yellow, umbrella. It was weird.

@Sabiel
I don't hang around with them, we don't call each other. We only meet at university and the hospital environment. Sadly, med students expend a lot of time with each other during graduation, since we have a load of work to do.

It will get better!

@trista

Reallly?

Yes actually. >.<

Hehe I have a guy friend kinda like this... who I "came out" to but still mostly treats me the same as before (which I never liked!). Each time he does something though, I call him on it (like when he does really crude jokes about going to the bathroom or jokes about nipples... I'm like "dood! wtf?!").

I have thought a couple times of just going "ok, how about this, you don't say anything to me that you wouldn't say in front of girls? because chances are anything else is going to offend me".... but haven't quite reached that point yet (overall he is getting better about censoring what he says around me, hopefully it will all drop off as I start to look more and more female).