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Have you ever had problems changing in clothes stores?

Started by ninjaboi, July 15, 2011, 02:41:15 PM

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ninjaboi

I ask, because last year at Cornwall Pride I decided to go in M&S to pass some time. I found a shirt i liked and made my way to the mens changing area having been pointed that way by one helpful staff member. I came out ready to purchase my shirt and another older woman who worked there asked me not to go into the mens changing room again as it was for men only and it was against policy to let anyone else use it. Then she made some quip about i know its gay pride but its against our rules!
I felt like a freak! And very insulted.

Anyone else ever had this problem?
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akitokitoast

I've gotten odd looks going into the women's changing, as I pass quite well. I've even come out of the actual female cubicle and still been thought cismale...

I've never tried going into the man's...if I'd had trouble with that older woman I would have said to her 'excuse me, but I'm male...I find your comment very insulting, as I'm not gay. I'm sure if you have a real problem we can take that to your manager next time...'

From what I've experienced, people back off if you so much as mention going over their head.
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Centcomm01

Quote from: akitokitoast on July 15, 2011, 05:15:55 PM
I've gotten odd looks going into the women's changing, as I pass quite well. I've even come out of the actual female cubicle and still been thought cismale...

I've never tried going into the man's...if I'd had trouble with that older woman I would have said to her 'excuse me, but I'm male...I find your comment very insulting, as I'm not gay. I'm sure if you have a real problem we can take that to your manager next time...'

From what I've experienced, people back off if you so much as mention going over their head.

they do indeed , and what you said is pretty much a zapper , and fairly polite, most retail stores management wont hassle you they just want your money and thats a pretty soild green, maybe she was jelous ?
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Robert Scott

I would have looked at her and said ... need to drop my drawers and show you my dick???? Confidence dude .. confidence ... you have nothing to be ashamed of --- you have a birth defect and you can't help it
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Lee

Have you checked the laws regarding segregated dressing rooms/bathrooms/etc in your area?  It's possible that it's illegal to keep people out based on birth sex.
Oh I'm a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love

A blah blog
http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,365.0.html
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Silas

Nope. I mean, at Walmart once the Guardian of Dressingrooms (as I call them) lead me to once of the women's cubicles, despite my carrying typically male clothing (and I figured I passed well enough). I didn't really care all that much, I don't even understand why they're separate, seeing as it's not a walk-in room with little cubicles. Just two opposite walls with cubicles attached.

I didn't correct her or anything. XD Wasn't getting hassled, so I didn't care. The next time it happens, I'll just say something like, "Oh, that's new. Haven't been in the women's dressing rooms since I was a little boy! 8D"

But if people try and correct me with bathrooms or dressing rooms, I'll just tell them I'm a guy and laugh it off. Walmart and JC Penney's are the only stores in my town with gendered dressing rooms, though.

That lady was very rude, though. Should've told her you would use the women's, but it makes your penis uncomfortable. XD Or just, "I'm a guy. o_o."
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ninjaboi

Thanks for the replies. Has i had already tried the shirt on at that point i couldn't be bothered making a scene. She really annoyed me though! I couldn't get out of there fast enough!
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Rachael Michelle

I've not been out as a female enough to have that experience but I have tried on (and bought) women's clothes while shopping as a male. Nothing to femme but like shorts and pants. I get some looks taking women's clothes into the men's changing rooms but no one has said anything.   Rachael
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JungianZoe

Never any problems... I first (as in, first time in my life) shopped for women's clothing two weeks after I went full time and found dressing rooms to be beautiful safe havens.  It took about another two weeks before I was able to shop alone, but after four months, I've still never had an issue with dressing rooms.

Of course, not wanting to do anything halfway, my first solo shopping excursion was to Victoria's Secret. :laugh:  No pressure or anything!  But when I told the girl I was trans, hadn't owned a bra in my entire life, and needed to be measured, she gave me this shocked look and said she couldn't tell.  That gave me all the confidence I needed to shop anywhere and everywhere.
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Cindy

I was in boy clothes last weekend asked to try on a dress. The assistant opened the change door for me and came back after afew minutes and asked if I was OK. Told her it was too small and she came back with the next size up. The she wanted to see me in it and said it looked great but I neded black leggings with abd she went and got them as well.

She made a sale :laugh:

Cindy
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Taka

nobody ever told me it's wrong for a woman to use the men's changing room. maybe because we don't care as much about an occasional woman in the wrong place here in norway. i've even taken women's clothes to the men's changing room simply because that was closer

but i might think twice before using the women's changing room if i actually happened to be passing as a guy. unless i were shopping for women's clothes, then i wouldn't care

and if anyone commented on me being in the wrong place i'd simply tell them i could just as well go shopping somewhere else if they can't give me any better service than that
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Lucian

Dude!  That is very frustrating and disrespectful!  I have not run into such problems before exactly.  I was with my mom picking out clothes and she told me to use the women's.  So I kinda wandered over, confused and such (I didn't have my glasses so I couldn't see far very well to know where things are).  I circled around and said to the attendant I found, "This is the fitting area, yeah?" to which the person replied that the men's was 'over there'.  I put on a half-faked surprise face and looked over in the direction he pointed and thanked him promptly.  I later had to explain to my mom when I wanted to try on stuff again that it's "weirder" if I use the women's because I look like a guy.  I put that down as a personal win in my book; ya gotta celebrate those small things, ya know?
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Lucian

Quote from: Cindy James on July 17, 2011, 01:57:44 AM
I was in boy clothes last weekend asked to try on a dress. The assistant opened the change door for me and came back after afew minutes and asked if I was OK. Told her it was too small and she came back with the next size up. The she wanted to see me in it and said it looked great but I neded black leggings with abd she went and got them as well.

She made a sale :laugh:

Cindy

That sounds like a cool experience.  It made me smile. 
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Silas

Story:

Today, my mom came with me into the JC Penney's men's dressing room because they were closing soon and I had to show her how these two shirts looked on me. Two employees saw her come in with me, and there's no real way to mistake my mom as male.

The only person who cared was the "alarm" above the door that goes off when you make any sudden movements near it.
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tekla

Nope, but the stores I tend to go to are pretty open.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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GinaDouglas

Here in Colorado, it is black letter law.

Rule 81.2 - Sexual Orientation Definitions
(A) The term "sexual orientation," as defined in the Law, means a person's orientation toward heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, transgender status or another person's perception thereof.
(B) The term "transgender" means having a gender identity or gender expression that differs from societal expectations based on gender assigned at birth.
(C) The term "gender identity" means an innate sense of one's own gender.
(D) The term "gender expression" means external appearance, characteristics or behaviors typically associated with a specific gender.
(E) The term "covered entity" means any person, business, or institution required to comply with the antidiscrimination provisions of the Law.

Rule 81.11 - Gender-Segregated Facilities
(A) Nothing in the Act prohibits segregation of facilities on the basis of gender.
(B) All covered entities shall allow individuals the use of gender-segregated facilities that are consistent with their gender identity. Gender-segregated facilities include, but are not limited to, restrooms, locker rooms, dressing rooms, and dormitories.


So no.
It's easier to change your sex and gender in Iran, than it is in the United States.  Way easier.

Please read my novel, Dragonfly and the Pack of Three, available on Amazon - and encourage your local library to buy it too! We need realistic portrayals of trans people in literature, for all our sakes
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GinaDouglas

Quote from: Silas on July 28, 2011, 10:41:58 PM
The only person who cared was the "alarm" above the door that goes off when you make any sudden movements near it.

Yeah, the first time I went into the dressing room at Penny's, that alarm scared the crap out of me, until I saw it went off whenever anybody came in.
It's easier to change your sex and gender in Iran, than it is in the United States.  Way easier.

Please read my novel, Dragonfly and the Pack of Three, available on Amazon - and encourage your local library to buy it too! We need realistic portrayals of trans people in literature, for all our sakes
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JungianZoe

Quote from: GinaDouglas on July 30, 2011, 12:18:02 AM
Here in Colorado, it is black letter law.

Just one reason I love living there... ;D  I'd say "here" but I'm still in Illinois and won't be home until tomorrow.  So can't wait!
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Dana_H

I love Colorado. Especially now that there is a push to put a measure on the ballot to reverse the ban on same-sex marriage here, which can only help transpeople as well, regardless of apparent or actual orientation. As it is, it's unclear how to define (under law) a marriage involving a transgender spouse.

Colorado; being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century.  :D
Call me Dana. Call me Cait. Call me Kat. Just don't call me late for dinner.
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El

Ive never had a problem with staff or customers in the changing rooms but im very tall and some stall doors are not, meaning i feel rather exposed sometimes!!!!!
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