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Are you ever jealous of cisguys or post op guys?

Started by Josh, July 26, 2011, 11:57:27 PM

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RyGuy

Quote from: Elijah on July 27, 2011, 03:42:58 PM
I am always jealous of guys who either just had surgery or cis guys who don't need surgery

I saw a post a few days ago on tumblr of a 15 year old trans guy who had top surgery, you have no idea how frustrated and envious I was

ugh I know I shouldnt complain because I did just have surgery so I'm definitely not ungrateful but if I had known three and a half years ago that top surgery was an option, yet alone HAD IT DONE then I probably would have evaded a month in a mental hospital, a drug addiction, and two suicide attempts...
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: VannaSiamese on July 27, 2011, 01:20:01 PM
I'm jealous of FtMs.  As strange as it sounds, in my head I feel like FtMs are superior to everyone... I think all the time that I wish I were going FtM than MtF. 
For some reason I've always been compelled to want to be female... it's not even that my life as a guy was so bad, it's just that I feel female.  I am much happier now as a girl, but I've always wished that since I am trans, I would be going from Female to Male instead of MtF 
A few months back I decided to detransition (I eventually stopped and went back to being female), and somebody even asked me if I was just beginning to transition from female to male.  It was sorta exciting to hear that, but I explained otherwise.  It's just I dislike women (not all, but most of them) so much, that to me it's like why in the world do I want to be one?

Yeah that sounds creeper-ish
Quote from: Elijah on July 27, 2011, 03:42:58 PM
I am always jealous of guys who either just had surgery or cis guys who don't need surgery

I saw a post a few days ago on tumblr of a 15 year old trans guy who had top surgery, you have no idea how frustrated and envious I was

Can you link to that post? 


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Noah G.

I've been following along with this but just now watched the video. As to the comments on that: I've seen some other videos from that guy and, while I don't know him in person, I'm willing to bet he doesn't normally act very much like that. I think he was just messing around for a class presentation (which that was: he had to sign the lyrics to a song). A lot of people act a little different when giving a presentation in class because they're nervous at some level. Plus, why not jazz things up a bit rather than just stand there signing? Have a little fun with it.

As to the question at hand: I used to get jealous in a way until I realized that it really was not at all productive and there was no point wasting the energy. Now I guess the closest is, as LordKAT first said, envy -- though not in the bitter, resentful sort of way.

Not so much post-op guys -- them I see as being more inspiration for what is possible than anything else. I've experienced it a little with cis women/cis girls in the "it'd be easier to pass if I had that body shape" sort of way or something more along those lines. For cis guys though, yea, I'll see certain traits and whatever and wish I had them or hope I have them after long enough time on T. I try not to dwell too much on it unless looking at myself in the mirror, or generally, and picking the things that I wish were different or that I hope will change. Even then I usually have to cut things short because I start to feel ugly, haha. Sometimes I do allow a little dwelling though. Oddly enough, it doesn't tend to cause real dysphoria for me unless I'm already dysphoric or really picking myself apart.
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Adio

Quote from: RyanThomas on July 27, 2011, 03:39:15 PM
I'm really envious of cisguys' socialization. Is that weird? haha

like I have to work so hard at 18 to figure out how I'm supposed to relate to people and things I should know (and what degree of reaction to have should something hit me in the groin :(). I generally just "be myself" but at the same time because I'm stealth it's not worth screwing up something every normal 6 year old should know.

I feel that a lot.  I wish I was better at socializing with other men.  It's hard for me because I had no real "father-figure" growing up.  While I have had several male friends (including several best friends), I don't know how a mature, young man is supposed to act.  It's also frustrating when I need advice from an older guy, I have no one to turn to.
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wheat thins are delicious

Not really sure how I feel about a 15 year old having top surgery but I'm glad he feels good about his body.


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insideontheoutside

Quote from: Andy8715 on July 27, 2011, 02:45:53 AM
Not douchey seeming ones like the guy in that vid.

Ha that's what I was about to say ...

Seriously though, who wouldn't be jealous of a fully functioning dick?

ETA: Yes i realize not EVERYONE feels the need to have one. But, my snarky humor aside, I feel I got ripped off in that department because it's not all the way there. No use fixating on it now, 30 some years after the fact, but I can still throw it out there as a "wouldn't it have been neat ..." kinda thing.
"Let's conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive."
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: insideontheoutside on July 27, 2011, 06:23:21 PM
Ha that's what I was about to say ...

Seriously though, who wouldn't be jealous of a fully functioning dick?

Not all trans dudes feel the want or even need for a dick that resembles that of most cis men's dicks.  Yeah sometimes I feel it would make my life easier but most of the time I'm ok with the fact that I don't have one and I don't spend all my days dreaming of having a dick standard to what most cis male's have or anything because I know that is an unrealistic expectation and I just don't really care.


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Nygeel

Um...I have a dick and it's fully functioning by my standards.
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: Nygeel on July 27, 2011, 06:32:27 PM
Um...I have a dick and it's fully functioning by my standards.

Yeah I changed the wording in mine.  Wasn't really thinking at the time, I do have a dick but it's not what most would call "standard"


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Nygeel

Quote from: Andy8715 on July 27, 2011, 06:43:54 PM
Yeah I changed the wording in mine.  Wasn't really thinking at the time, I do have a dick but it's not what most would call "standard"
I think mine is pretty standard, but most people don't think of it that way.

Either way, I'm happy with my bits.
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wheat thins are delicious

I don't believe mine is standard as far as what society believes but it's ok by me. 


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insideontheoutside

Quote from: Andy8715 on July 27, 2011, 06:26:52 PM
Not all trans dudes feel the want or even need for a dick that resembles that of most cis men's dicks.  Yeah sometimes I feel it would make my life easier but most of the time I'm ok with the fact that I don't have one and I don't spend all my days dreaming of having a dick standard to what most cis male's have or anything because I know that is an unrealistic expectation and I just don't really care.

Bully for you.
"Let's conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive."
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: insideontheoutside on July 27, 2011, 07:07:16 PM
Bully for you.

No need to get hostile, just saying, generalizations about the trans community are no one's friend. 


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RyGuy

isn't true transsexualism defined by the want or need or whatever for total congruency of your body and gender identity? like under the standards of care isn't the want or need to have the "intended" genitals a prerequisite? this isn't one of those "->-bleeped-<-r than thou" posts but i can't imagine being a man who has little or no desire for a penis, or a woman with little or no desire for a vagina. the genitals don't define the person by any means, but i thought that transsexualism was defined by that criteria. trans* and all of the various nontraditional gender expressions, no, but transsexualism yes, right?
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harlee

I get more jealous of transguys who have had blockers to stop the changes more than I get jealous of guys who have had surgery :P 





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insideontheoutside

Quote from: Andy8715 on July 27, 2011, 07:33:10 PM
No need to get hostile, just saying, generalizations about the trans community are no one's friend.

I wasn't (seriously, there'd be no mistaking it if I was "hostile") - that's good you can view it like that.
"Let's conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive."
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: harlee on July 28, 2011, 01:11:59 AM
I get more jealous of transguys who have had blockers to stop the changes more than I get jealous of guys who have had surgery :P

This, though I can't help but feel some jealousy towards guys who have had surgery because mine will be a few years away unfortunately. 


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Mr.Rainey

I hate seeing young boys. Absolutely hate it. I know they get to live their childhood as the correct gender and I can't ever get that back. They won't have to fight tooth and nail for the simplest of things like being called the right name, the right pronouns, wearing the right clothes, getting raised with the social skills expected of them, and of course never having to have surgery/hormones to fix their body. What I want is so simple and so basic. I don't understand why I wasn't born the way I was meant to be. Sometimes I wish I could just start over and be born as a little boy and be normal. I know I was born a boy but you know what I mean.
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