Greetings all,
We as a group tend to obsess over passing. Some of us not as much of an issue others more so to the point of paralysis. As someone who is living full time, and doing it quite well, if I do say so myself, : ) I thought a tip I don't see too often might be helpful. This is a long tip so I'm composing
offline for later posting.
First a little background. I spent most of my youth in community theatre. If you think people might be critical of you out in public, try getting on a stage in front of 3 or 400 people and convince them you are the character you are playing. At least when going out in public as a woman you don't have
to pick up a paper the next morning to read the critics reviews of your performance.
As a woman I found her performance lacking. Says the New York Times.
I laughed till I cried, you call that a woman. Says the Chicago Tribune.
Well fortunately we don't have to go through that, Exactly. But people can be cruel at times and if
you're one who is certain every time you look in a mirror that you will never pass don't worry. You
see passing isn't an end all or be all. You know who and what you are. But, there is hope. It's all in
the attitude.
"All the worlds a stage and all the people in it merely players" William Shakespeare
Even when you are you, being you, your entry into the world each and every day is like walking out
onto the stage. It might be helpful to remember the old stage trick of imagining that every one is
naked. (shudder, now there's a frightening thought).
The main thing to remember is when you go out into the world you have to own the part. Never
doubt for a moment that you are every bit the character you are playing. As Shakespeare said we
are all playing characters in life's tableau.
"Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue; but if you
mouth it, as many of your players do, I had as lief the town-crier spoke my lines, Nor do not saw
the air too much with your hand, thus; but use all gently. " Shakespeare's instruction to his players.
As in the theatre preparation is everything. It takes time. You must rehearse endlessly until you
have the part down. After many rehearsals there is of course the dress rehearsal. This is wear you
try on your costume, dawn your makeup and practice your lines.
There are many tools you can use in preparation for this. I got a speech DVD and makeup DVD
along with a feminine movement DVD. All of these helped immensely in my preparation.
Do a trial run. This would be were you go out, all dolled up, preferably with a friend to someplace
close and safe. I was having trouble with my fingernail polish. Unfortunately this was not covered in
the makeup video and I was seriously botching the job. I made an appointment at a nail salon very
close to my house. I figured just watch what she does and then do the same at home. The
experience was fantastic, and also my first time out. There I was in the inner sanctum getting my
nails done. It was my first manicure ever. What happened later is another story.
What I did next was go home and mulled over everything that happened while I was out and
about. I reviewed the videos and noted were I had made mistakes that might have given me away.
I practiced over and over at home and did not go out again for many months. When I did go out
again I did as I said earlier, own the part. Cassandra had become as natural a person as my old self
had ever been.
Did I pass? Men opened doors for me and called me mam. At the grocery although I only had a few items a clerk brought a grocery cart over so I would not have to carry my groceries to the car and
asked "May I take your groceries for you mam". I smiled and said no, but thanked him for offering.
People smiled and nodded hello. I even got a few admiring stares and smiles from some of the men.
I think I passed.
One other thing to remember is that just because someone may be looking at you oddly does not
mean they have read you. It may be thier in thought about something and don't even realize they
are even looking in your direction. Even if they do, don't act like "oh my god I've been read" act
natural. The natural reaction is to blush red and becom self conscious causing you to drop
character. Don't drop character, ever!
If you blunder don't try to correct your mistake just keep going as if nothing happened. Attempting
to cover a mistake is the surest way to point up the fact that you have made one, and will make
you self conscious. Most of all have fun with it. If you look like you are enjoying yourself you will also
look very natural. Be at ease with yourself and even if you are read chances are no one will let you
know that they have. Sometimes because they are not sure and don't want to embarrass
themselves if they are wrong.
When speaking unless you have been doing speech therapy for some time and have a really
convincing voice keep things brief. "Brevity is the soul of wit", So says the bard. Use a soft voice
and avoid people with hearing problems. Having a GG friend with you helps as they can step in, in a
sticky situation. One time I was asked for ID when using my bank card, something which almost
never happens, but my wife was there and acted as if the clerk had asked for her ID. "Oh, here
you go" and handed it to her. Whew! Dodged that bullet. Got to get that name change.
When speaking I use a little trick from my speech therapy. I hum a little ditty to myself using my
upper register. It just sounds like I'm happy and have a song I can't get out of my head. In reality
I'm keeping the pipes tuned up so when I start speaking I start off in the right key. I hope you
find this useful. Remember to be safe and don't go out into situations which breed disaster.
Cassie
