Quote from: RyanThomas on July 31, 2011, 03:36:43 AM
kvall i definitely understand what you're saying and i'm neither agreeing nor disagreeing with you because the whole subject is so subjective..
but i wonder if gender is as socially constructed as race and culture, etc.
for ME PERSONALLY, i feel if i were raised in a white empty room or something i wouldn't be a boy. i would just be me. we had this discussing at my youth group a couple nights ago: "if there were no gender stereotypes at all in the world, how would you know what gender you are?" when you really think about it, while our biological sex determines bodily functions etc that we can't generally control (hormones, procreation), gender doesn't really DO anything. if a trans* person grew up without stereotypes, they probably wouldn't know their gender based on comparison (a "girl" is equally as likely as a "boy" to play with trucks or wear makeup and so on), so how would they know? (this is different than the body dysphoria trans people face. not the kind that's like "well other guys have a dick so i feel like i should have one too" but the kind that arises before you even understand genitals that there's something wrong with yours... which is why this argument can't really be won either way. as a starter, all of us know here that gender is different than sex but i venture a guess that none of us know the "why's" and "how's")
I spent my early childhood living in a cabin in a rural area as the only child of a single mother. There were no boys for me to socialize with. There were no penises in our house. There's no way I could have had the opportunity to see a penis before age 4 1/2 - 5 when I started kindergarten, and I doubt it even happened that early.
2 stories from that age are very telling:
(1) I don't remember this, but when I was being toilet trained, my mother says I used to scream hysterically if I saw myself with my pants off. I'd point down and tell her that it hurt...but only if I saw it. She had to keep my lap covered with a towel so I'd stay calm enough to go.
(2) One of my earliest memories was from when I was around 4, and my mom walked in on me trying to use a toilet paper tube to pee standing up, with my clothes all wet. I was crying and told her I couldn't get it in the toilet. She told me I had to sit down and I just bawled.
Then there was one a couple of years later - I was a precocious reader, and my mom had a lot of books. I found one of the sex ed/puberty education books, and I was reading it when I was maybe 6 or 7. I got to the pages on male and female reproductive anatomy, and I looked at the male one and went running to my mother with the book open and proclaimed "see Mummy? I tried to tell you! It's supposed to be like that!" And she turned the page to the female one and showed me that was what I had and it was just like what she had and it just shocked me. It hadn't even ever occurred to me that I had 'normal' girl parts, I had this self-concept of my body as a deformed male.
It wasn't even really a social thing, I didn't see myself as all that different from her, at that point I wanted to grow up a lot like her...probably helped that she was a pretty 'masculine' very feminist woman. I thought of myself as a boy, wanted to read stories about boys, etc etc, but when I was told I was a girl, I didn't fight too hard against it. But I just thought my body was supposed to be different. That was the first moment when I actually grasped that it wasn't different.