Hi, everyone. My name is Nik, I'm a 26 year old pre-everything trans man. I signed up here a year or so ago but haven't really been around much, so this is my first post.

I've known I was trans for many years but didn't feel I was emotionally ready to transition until now. I'm out to both my best friends and some internet friends, but not out to everyone or living as male full time yet.

Without getting into too much depressing detail, I'm an abuse survivor, so I have had a lot of issues in the past with anxiety, depression, trouble standing up for myself and so on. My one experience trying to bring the matter up with a therapist involved her laughing at me and telling me she could tell me right away that I wasn't really trans. Of course I didn't believe her, but it eroded my confidence in being able to convince the necessary "gatekeepers" into letting me medically transition, not to mention telling everyone I know and facing their reactions.

Following on from that, my early 20s were a non-stop roller coaster of other emotional upsets, stress, death of people close to me, and so on. There was no way I could face the stress of transition on top of all that!

FINALLY, however, I feel like I've reached a place where I can face it. That and I feel I have to transition soon, or I'll go (even more) insane. I'm sure many of you can relate to that feeling.

I haven't found a therapist yet, but I know now that they aren't all as terrible as the one I tried previously, and I'm living in a larger city now where there are other trans people I can ask for reccomendations, so... fingers crossed.

Well, this intro ended up more of a downer than I intended. I'm honestly feeling pretty good about myself these days, and I'm looking forward to finally letting the man I am on the inside make himself known on the outside!

Hi Nik, and welcome to Susan's! We're a diverse and friendly bunch here (the head count is over 7800) - get into things as slowly or as quickly as you feel comfortable, I'm sure you'll find plenty of support here.

I can relate to a lot of what you've written - and I celebrate how we keep ourselves safe until we're strong and healed enough to let ourselves know we're ready to transition. Still, I hope you can give yourself time to make the journey with care, you deserve it.

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Hi Nik,
Yep doesn't matter what spectrum you are many of us have done the hard yards, or had them done to us. A therapist that laughs at a client is a hyena and not a professional anything. Welcome to the site and as you have been lurking for a while I think you know we are a really nice group of people who just try and help deal with the issues and tell very bad jokes. And give a lot of support and love to each other.

Cindy

Agreed - a therapist who can laugh with the client is more likely a coyote (which is a good thing) but one who dismisses you out of hand deserves to be dismissed out of hand. I had a GP do that to me when I was 24, the best revenge is to become happy .

Padma
You said you were getting the coyote as a tattoo, had it done yet?
Cindy

Yes, in 1991 . Keep up .



(excuse the hairs, it's an old photo - she's looking a bit more fuzzy these days, but I love her...)

Whoops sorry doll,

I thought is was planned for not done, Oh and I spent Saturday having my legs and arms waxed so you are totally disgustingly hairy 

Sorry Nik not meaning to hijack your intro

Hugs
Cindy

Hi Nik, and welcome to Susan's Place. 

It seems the standard of Therapist needed to meet the SOC  does vary from place to place, as does the definition of Therapist too.   
I see a great Psychiatrist who specialises in trans issues, and he is totally professional in his approach.  If you can find someone like that you will get great value from your sessions, both in self-exploration and in the area of concrete assistance with lots of aspects of transition.

Hope you can find a good one.

Karen.

Thanks for the kind words of welcome, everyone.

Quote from: Padma on August 02, 2011, 02:49:32 AMthe best revenge is to become happy .

This is fantastic advice! 

Hello Nik and welcome to Susan's.                                                                                             Gennee

Hi Nik.  Nice to have you here.

I personally don't have a therapist yet, although I suspect that I'll have to get one. Not an exciting prospect, living in the far North. I'm glad that you have managed to keep moving through transition despite the therapy experience. I can appreciate what you are saying about having to transition or going more insane. On the outside I look like the calmest, steady person on the planet. Inside, I'm a whirlpool. Definitely, needing to move forward as well. I hope to hear more about your journey on the boards as time goes on. In the meantime, take care...