why are we cursed with a thing like you, what did we do to deserve this..sound familiar. those words came out of my mothers mouth today. and like every other day.   
each time i wear my binder she insists on pulling up my shirt to see if im wearing a bra. excessive..yes but this is coming from a parson who only admited to having sex on his 18th birthday and as a result got a lecture. ah the jpys of life. my family know im trans but sweep it under the rug as a freak who in their words will rot in adrug filled sespool and die leaving them without a granchild. their good girl is pushing them into their graves, being a selfish brat and not being a good girl. i came out to my parents this year. its been seven months and they refuse to play anything but blaming me for not wanting to change my mind to match my body. been there and failed. that lead me to an almost psycotic state of paranoia and depression. and hearing each day that i wont get a girl knocked up, or find anyone who wants to be with a wannabe ->-bleeped-<- freak isnt the best encouragement to hear from my mother. but hearing that people who are different shold be shot or medicated from my father is just the tip of the cake. yes my parents are russian communist biggots. who throw money and possesions and emotional threats of suicide at me to attempt to control me. but as of today i bought my first weights set and shes beautiful. much to my parents disgust im toning up. before i start t i decided to give myself a confidence boost. i have a therapist whos willing to give me the green light to see the endo at any time. but right now the only issue is money and a house. i stand no chance of my parents not interfeefing in my future endevors for the next 6months. but im proud to say that i am gaining self confidence by the bucketful. thanks to susans this is my escape via my phone because my regular net is monitored for sus websites and searches. anyway im just glad to have my new weights set and simply happy to have such a great site to talk to people on. i will let you know how it goes. although since i started beibg myself ive noticed just how strong willed ive become. and this is coming from a person whos mother threatened to sue her therapist for not fixing their daughter. well mother and father dearest im ray weather you want me in the family or not. i fought depression for twelve years and im winning. it may hurt you but im beyond the point of caring about an unsupportive manipulative family. and to my freinds here thanks for giving me hope to see a future where i have freinds and a family that is supportive..here online. thankyou all. best of luck on your journeys will keep you updated

Feel free to rant as much as you want Ray.  We'll just put some tea on for afterwards

It sounds like you are not actually in Russia, but right now you are going through your own personal Stalingrad.   It looks like you will have a win though , as you are moving forward with a plan in mind.

Sometimes it takes parents, and other family a long time to realise that children are people, and not possessions.  Sometimes, unfortunately some never do.  All you can do is let them know that you love them, even if you don't like what they are doing, even to the point of leaving them. 
You have done all you can, after that the ball is in their court .

Karen.

   

i currently live in australia. but it doesnt make it any easier despite living here for 15 years my parents still refuse to act like a part of the country. they still act racially and financially superieor just because they are higher than middle class. but yes it is a battle i have to fight and tea sounds great.

...*hugs* to you bro. I just woke up so no advice comes to mind but like justmeinoz said feel free to rant. Congrats on the weight set man. It's an incredible feeling to start like that (I did the same pre-t). Your parents may come around eventually but if nothing else they should be proud to have a son who is doing what he needs to. You are clearly a strong person and I can't begin to imagine the self-restraint it takes to put off starting T, it shows that you are obviously very mature. Keep your head up man, I have mad respect for you. 

thanks. yeah some days i just wanna say bugger it to my parents and not care if i get kicked out, but those days i end up thinking. do i really want to end up giving up a chance to get a small amount of finances and jepordise my financial future. its easy to act like a kid and try to skip town in a huff like i did at 16 but its hard to have paitence. i think thats really helped me mature in the past 6 months.

Again,no advice from me except to say keep gritting your teeth and moving forward. I'm sorry your having such a bad time with your parents but you sound like they'tr not managing to grind you down. You know what you want- go for it whwn you can and i wish you all the luck in the world- and another ear that will listen when you need to rant

Tell them that if they keep acting like that, they wouldn't get to meet their future coveted grandchild anyway. Sorry for what you're going through, but I've no advice.

You're awesome, and we have faith in you.  It's nice to see those who don't back down in the face of adversity.     You can do it!~~

ive tried every angle to approach the gran child issue. giving them hope just makes then throw men and advice on who i should talk to and make freinds with in order to find a suitableman who can cater to all my whims as my parents have. they call my freinds every name under the sun, from mental to freak to mentally challengdd and even ask it to their face with a calm look of oh are you sick in the head or what? some days if i grit my teeth any moere im afraid they will fall out.  this mornings tpoic of hate speech was towards peircings and tatoos which my father openly spits and swears at saying hed beat their heads in if he caught then in a room alone. looking forward to a day of being alone. at least i know my binders are safe because my parents dont know where my secret stashes of things are. they seem to have stopped going through my room at least. but mums a neat freak to the point where she washes dads work boots and folds underwear and does the washing twice a day.  will update a little later. going to have breaky and get up and face the crazed barrel of monkeys that is my family.